You wear what you want Louisa. I did (blue) and don't regret it one iota. There's no reason to wear white just because everybody else does.

The whole thing is ritualistic nonsense;-including getting married!

If you MUST do that, then fine;-elope. You have then plighted your troth without the rigmarole.

............I guess we like our rituals though? If you want the church dirge/tucker/high-rise cake, be prepared to make your stand!

Old habits die VERY hard!

Hi Louisa,
I got married last October in a bright red and my "bridesmaids" wore black. But then I am a tad older than you and who was going to quibble with me? Certainly not my Mum, although I think I detected a slight angst in her tone as she suggested a "nice pastel" perhaps? :)
Susan P - editor
PS I figured it was my chance to fnally be a "scarlet woman"!
PPS I eloped the first time round - this time it was much more fun ...

I got married over 40 years ago and the only compensation we gave to our parents was to have the ceremony in a church. We certainly weren't going to go to the ridiculous expense of getting an expensive white dress made that would only be worn once for a few hours. The church thing was also a waste of time and money with flowers and stuff, but protocol forced our hand in that matter...........never had any regrets over the dress though.

Yes wear what you like. It is your wedding and the most important is a happy bride.

Traditions are hard to break but we need some ground-breakers to help those younger generations coming along behind. :D

I think the decision on what colour you wear depends on why you have the ceremony.

Personally I don't see why your commitment to each other is any more valid when it is stated in front of some patriarch of our society than if it is if expressed in private.

If you take the view that a wedding is a kind of 'graduation ceremony' for your parents then you should just go along with your parents expectations.

Enjoy the day and don't get too stress out by all the details.

Been married twice. Neither times in white. Neither times with a diamond engagement ring on my finger or with gold wedding bands. Once was in the middle of a forest.

Like you said: its about the two of you - not about Great Aunt Myrtle and her expectations. Those that love you just want to be with you to celebrate your happiness. I can't see that anything else matters.

Go with your instincts and make yourself happy! I wore a cherry red silk dress that I designed with the help of bridal mags (all white dresses there, no red to be seen!) and had it made exactly how I wanted it. I had never actually pictured myself in a wedding dress before we decided to get married so I had no expectations, and I wasnt really worried about what other people thought either! A number of people felt the need to comment, but they got over it. Got married at 25, five years ago and still incredibly happy with my choice! Go for it, be bold!

when i was a little girl, i always dreamed that if i ever got married, i would wear RED - a colour that suits me.
white suits me too - so when i got married the first time with the big wedding etc, i felt so pressured to do the right thing by everyone who seemed to have a stake in the occasion that i ended up wearing my mothers wedding dress (white of course) tailored a little to update it along with flowers, marquee etc - the part i resisted successfully was the cake (and cutting it like it means something massive to your marriage!!) - although my mother and mother-in-law really believed in the cake idea so they got one made anyway, they cut it and they were happy. that marriage didnt work out...
so when i got married three years ago today (yay!) i wore RED - and have never looked back. i love the way stuffing it up the first time (the marriage and perhaps even the wedding by some people's standards) set me free to do exactly what I wanted to the second time round. - it was all worth it.
can't wait to hear what colour you finally choose - have fun!

I had an outdoor wedding for my first marriage and went with an off white colour dress as white makes me look awful. I do beleive though that your wedding dress should reflect you as a person. That is why on my recent marriage only a few months ago I wore a dusky pink coloured dress and also eloped as we wanted the day to be about us and no-one else, where no-one's opinions mattered. I wish you all the best in finding what's right for you as there are so many dresses and colours to chose from now.