Countrygal

I got the gist that you're pretty happy with the support he gives and the role he plays.

I was married for eight years prior to becoming a parent. Many marriages break up overnight with the arrival of a child. It's a common trigger of marriage breakups, that and financial conflict.

'What you say about residence being left with the mother and not contested is probably because it is beyond the means of most families to take to court.'

Actually, that's not the case at all. Many people find themselves in court regardless of whether they can afford it or not. That's because they have no say if the other party choose to go to court.

These couples usually frequently go to the Federal Magistrate's Court, not the Family Law Court.

The common description of the respondent in these cases are women whose expartners have instigated court proceedings. The men choose to represent themselves. Women find their settlements (and often the family wealth can be quite insignficant) eaten up in legal fees. These men often are in new relationships, or they delegate their Mother's as more suitable carers than the Mother. Such arrogance to think they can choose who will play Mother.

The reason residence is not contested is because it is the choice of the father to leave the children with their mother.

Men choose every second weekend. That's what the majority of men decide.

From what you are writing it appears you assume women get the majority of marital wealth. That's not the case.

What you think you know is not necessarily the full picture, particuarly if you are determined to believe 'men shrug their shoulders and give up'.

That comment demonstrates how little you know about the issue but how willing you are to believe men are victims. You're being biased, particularly with the 'burnt and bitter' comment. That's typical rhetorical thrown at women.

I've read your comments on single mothers on another thread, and I thought your comments were uninformed.

Liz,
I must say I’m completely fascinated by yourself.

You’re a teacher and often left in charge of children, but you have not qualified anything you have ever said about fathers, and you have not said a single positive word about fathers.

A public enquiry was held into family law some years ago. That is why they developed Family Relationship Centres, because the family law system was so gender biased.

I’m also completely fascinated by the fact that feminists continue to try and malign and devalue men, and try and say that fathers are not as significant as mothers and so on.

But men and women are a part of the natural world, and nature is very economic. If men were not as significant as women, then nature would not have men. But nature continues to produce 50% females and 50% males.

Maybe feminists should read biology books, rather than feminist propaganda.

Liz, you are entitled to think as you like about my comments, as I am about yours.

I dont think of men as victims at all, but I dont think of women as victims either. In the vast majority of cases, it takes two to tango. Yes one may be more at fault than the other in the final breakup reason, but rarely are they truly evil.

The custodial parent ends up with the majority of the family wealth that was held prior to the seperation. Usually the custodial parent gets 70-80% of net assets (including most assets tied up in companies and trusts too). If custody is shared, then the asset split will be more even. If there are no dependant kids, the split is 50:50. Superannuation is usually split 50:50 no matter what.

I've also seen some very amicable divorces. Although all the ones I can think of recently didnt have small children involved, which might have helped a bit - less emotion and all (and 50/50 asset split).

Just try to keep in mind Liz, that not all men are bad (and actually very few of them are). And I am not pro-man, just pro-people. I have similarly argued quite strongly with men on other threads that they need to stop being so bitter and remember that not all women are bad (and indeed few are). I do agree with HRS though - someone that is so severely sexist as you appear to be has no place in our school system (as indeed there is no place for racists in such establishments).

Countrygal

There's wonderful men out there. You don't have to remind me. I've been around a decade or two longer than you and there's truly brilliant men out there.

There's also some appalling women, who tend to attach themselves to these mens rights campaigns, and they're pretty unethical men.

What you've said about the custodial parent ending 'up with the majority of the family wealth' is simply not true.

You really don't know what your talking about Countrygal. You seem to be gaining your knowledge from barbeque gossip. You've just accepted this information as 'truth'. That's why I think you're biased.

Best to not enter into subjects you're not informed on.

Liz you are rather fond of saying that things that things which are all to often true are "simply not true". What's your stake in this?

My stake is as a dad who found a system that assumed that the mother should get most of the custody. A system that was so tied in legal protocols that it had little interest in truth. A system that provides financial incentives for parents with few skills or who don't like paid work to try and gain most of the residency to increase the benefits to themselves. A system where residency at the time of settlement can make a significant difference to finacial outcomes with no recourse if the situation changes afterwards.

I've been involved in one of the mens rights groups, not currently - I suspect that they are lifesavers for many people. My own experience is that the group I was in pushes for equality not special treatment for men.

I'm confident that I did not see any situation where there was leadership or widespread support for inequality.

I've suggested previously that you look at the submissions to the inquiry into child residency following seperation. You will find it was the mothers groups who were opposing shared care not the fathers groups. Before you respond with a comment about child safety you might also look at the stats on substantiated child abuse and who does it.

R0bert

Liz, my experience is not frm BBQ gossip, but as a professional accountant. I am the second stop a client makes when deciding to seperate (the first stop being the lawyer). I have advised both men and women in this area (the financial side of it). As a result I am kept up to date with the progress and various demands, and thus normally find out what is happening as far as custody (or residence) goes, and child support. One recently was a classic case of the wife not knowing the business. She keeps asking for "just the home loan paidout - I know you're worth a lot more than that, but its all I want". What she doesnt know (and doesnt want to hear about) is that the husband is worth only $250,000 total, and she wants $270,000 paid off the home loan. His business has been losing money for the last 5 years, and its being exaggerated by the fact that he continually has to take time off work to attend mediation and conciliation conferences up to 3 hours away. This is not unusual. I have also advised women on how to structure their business assets to protect them if they think things are shaky.

I beg to differ but it seems that you are the one who has gained their opinions from the BBQ (or water cooler).