Having lost one child, and yet being blessed with 4 others, I hesitate to judge childless parents as being totally "me" focussed, and yet it is true that throughout history there have been those unable to conceive and it has been extremely sad for them, and yet also accepted as an unfortunate part of life. I don't think the new trend towards egg/sperm donors, human incubators etc. is the answer at all. I love what the Tongans do. A friend of mine, married to a Tongan man, and unable to conceive due to cancer & a hysterectomy, was blessed to be GIVEN a child by relatives! The tradition is that someone from the extended family will conceive & carry a child, and then GIVE that child as a GIFT to the parents that can't conceive their own child. Now THAT is beautiful!

It seems to me that none of the people who have posted regarding this issue have any personal experience with it. I am 31 and have been trying for a baby for the past 6 years. I have unexplained infertility and was diagnosed with cervical cancer late 2006. I have had an experimental operation with includes removing my cervix but maintains my "fertility". I am at risk of the recurrance of cervical cancer which if returns will be terminal but I am taking the chance because I had to decline my sister in laws offer to be a surrogate mother for me. I want children more than anything, and why should someone else get to decide if i deserve to be a mother. I understand it may be emotionally difficult, but so is living with not having children or being the family member of someone whos life will never be fullfulled. there is no reason these children would be disadvantaged, they would be better off than children from mothers who didn't want children and where shamed into cancelling their abortion.