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The Forum > Article Comments > Motherhood deals risk deeper anguish > Comments

Motherhood deals risk deeper anguish : Comments

By Melinda Tankard Reist, published 30/11/2006

Surrogacy arrangements raise serious questions which have to be faced.

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There's no need to worry Melinda, technology is charging to the rescue -

Guardian
Men redundant? Now we don't need women either
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,648024,00.html

And that article was dated 2002. Much development will have occurred since. No need for surrogate mothers soon with artificial wombs just around the corner.

Interesting, isn't it?

But look on the bright side - governments and corporations won't have to pay maternity leave anymore, women can "have" babies without ever missing a day off work. Women can be stay-at-work-mums just like the dads. Won't that be nice?
Posted by Maximus, Thursday, 30 November 2006 10:50:41 AM
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What is the difference between the "genealogical bewilderment" suffered by children who are born through surrogacy, and adopted children?

"Genealogical bewilderment" is surely also an argument against adoption. Given that some people are not ready to parent and find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy, what kind of guilt-ridden choice does that leave them?

I'm not sure why you think it's okay to argue against surrogacy in this way Melinda, especially when you would presumably be very upset by any woman's decison to have an abortion.

I agree that surrogacy is an area fraught with issues of personal ethics and individual circumstance. But if we would agree that children are "the ultimate gift", why can't we accept that gift in they way it has been presented in the case of Senator Conroy and his wife?
Posted by seether, Thursday, 30 November 2006 1:40:42 PM
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well said, seether!
Posted by billie, Thursday, 30 November 2006 3:44:30 PM
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I'm going to sound rather cold here, but I can't help but feel this is one of those articles that values emotional rhetoric over reason.

Reist starts by pointing out the scientific terms used to describe surrogate mothers, presumably in an attempt to paint the situation as having vulnerable women sujected to a cold, sterile scientific process.

She then continues by quoting a series of emotive statements.

Fair enough - though where are the emotive statements from the surrogate mothers joyful at being able to help their friends or sisters? Presumably they can be found too.

Basically, I'm saying I didn't find a whole lot of substance here. I'd be willing to concede there are serious issues associated with this process, though this particular article... well, in my humble opinion, there's not a whole lot to it.
Posted by TurnRightThenLeft, Thursday, 30 November 2006 4:25:29 PM
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The author said: "But we cannot deny that for many surrogate mothers and their children there is no happy ever after."

Why wouldn't a child feel valued and wanted by parents who went to this extent to bring him/her into existence? Is it any better to owe one's life to an act of reckless abandonment through an excess of festive spirit?

The author appears opposed to any artificial assistance with fertility including donor sperm. Or is it that she wants the owners of the genetic material to be made known to the child? Maybe in a follow-up article the author could clarify and make some suggestions as to how childless couples could be helped.
Posted by Cornflower, Thursday, 30 November 2006 4:45:42 PM
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To Seether and Billie if you exert your intellect just a little I'm sure you'll see that there's a monumental difference between adopting a child because its natural parents can't or won't care for it, and deliberately conceiving a child with the intent of removing it from one or both of its natural parents. The purpose of adoption is to provide a child with a safe and loving environment in which to grow, which for whatever reason cannot be provided by its natural parents. On the other hand the use of surrogacy and donor sperm or ova have nothing to do with the welfare a child and everything to do with fulfilling a desire to possess a child, even if it means causing some emotional problems later in life for that child/person.

It is quite clear that those who support surrogacy and the use of donor sperm or ova give little consideration to anything other then having their own wants fulfilled. It really is just another symptom of the 'me' mentality which is so intertwined with feminist thinking.
Posted by phobe, Sunday, 3 December 2006 5:51:42 PM
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Having lost one child, and yet being blessed with 4 others, I hesitate to judge childless parents as being totally "me" focussed, and yet it is true that throughout history there have been those unable to conceive and it has been extremely sad for them, and yet also accepted as an unfortunate part of life. I don't think the new trend towards egg/sperm donors, human incubators etc. is the answer at all. I love what the Tongans do. A friend of mine, married to a Tongan man, and unable to conceive due to cancer & a hysterectomy, was blessed to be GIVEN a child by relatives! The tradition is that someone from the extended family will conceive & carry a child, and then GIVE that child as a GIFT to the parents that can't conceive their own child. Now THAT is beautiful!
Posted by Rynalee, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 9:52:40 PM
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It seems to me that none of the people who have posted regarding this issue have any personal experience with it. I am 31 and have been trying for a baby for the past 6 years. I have unexplained infertility and was diagnosed with cervical cancer late 2006. I have had an experimental operation with includes removing my cervix but maintains my "fertility". I am at risk of the recurrance of cervical cancer which if returns will be terminal but I am taking the chance because I had to decline my sister in laws offer to be a surrogate mother for me. I want children more than anything, and why should someone else get to decide if i deserve to be a mother. I understand it may be emotionally difficult, but so is living with not having children or being the family member of someone whos life will never be fullfulled. there is no reason these children would be disadvantaged, they would be better off than children from mothers who didn't want children and where shamed into cancelling their abortion.
Posted by MelanieD, Monday, 23 July 2007 5:57:43 PM
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