Ah Marissa (masked mystery woman), very wise advice you give here. Unfortunately, when the chemical biology of Homo-Sapiens kicks in, brains go out the window. If only people could make seriously considered decisions before tying the knot, or worse, doing the honeymoon thing beforehand.

And further...

Advocacy person, me, takes an even more radical preventive approach: "Advice to Young Men - Tip #1: Don't ever marry, cohabit or have unprotected sex with any woman ever, until the Australian Family Law Act is reformed to give men some chance of justice following separation or divorce."

Many years ago, I read this story in a travelogue about PNG: (I paraphrase from memory): "I met an unhappily married man in a village on the Sepic river. The problem, he said, was that he was from the highlands and she the lowlands...so they could never saw eye to eye on all the important issues. Worse, he said, was that he had moved to live with her in her village, rather than demanding she come live with him in his. When she turned against him he was left alone in a foriegn village with no support. He was staying...living in his own hut...becuase of the kids. "Big mistake, I made", he concluded "Should have married someone at home".

This story remains firm in my memory becuase the deep wisdom of this illiterate peasant is something I wish I had heard before I made the same mistake. I immigrated to Australia, married a Queensland girl, had three Australian children with her. She turned agin me, and ...snap!...I was left with scant support in a foriegn country, but unable to return home becuase of the kids. Rock on!

Meantime, the immense difficulties cross cultural marriages face - in addition to the difficulty of maintaining a happy life-long marriage - speaks to how profoundly shaped we are by the culture in which we were raised. "Live anywhere in the world", I tell my kids, "but marry someone from home."

That's a sad story Jono123, I'm sorry to hear it. I hope you cope and find some quality return in your life for the sacrifice you have made. All the best mate.

Jono

Words of the wise.