I know there is a good deal of self-deception surrounding any type of violence within families but I don’t believe that women are as blind to their own acts of emotional violence as they pretend to be. For example, even women who have never taken part in this kind of violence, know what a bitch-circle is and how they operate.

One girl quoted in Rachel Simmons' excellent Odd Girl Out said, 'there is an evil in girls that just doesnt exist in boys' and throughout my life I have known several women who make friends almost exclusively amongst men because they find other women so nasty and manipulative. So while female violence is much more subtle than male violence, any women that claims that she doesnt know what we are talking about when we talk about ‘female violence’ is very naive or simply lying.

Rob513264

I have heard other women refer to women as 'bitches.'

Erin Pizzey in her discussion paper on violent women.

"The family well may be characterised as violent, incestuous, dysfunctional, and unhappy, but it is the terrorist or tyrant who is primarily responsible for initiating conflict, imposing histrionic outbursts upon otherwise calm situations, or (more subtly and invisibly) quietly manipulating other family members into uproar through guilt, cunning taunts, and barely perceptive provocations. (The quiet manipulative terrorist usually is the most undetected terrorist. Through the subtle creation of perpetual turmoil, this terrorist may virtually drive other family members to alcoholism, to drug-addiction, to explosive behaviour, to suicide. The other family members, therefore, are often misperceived as the 'family problem' and the hidden terrorist as the saintly woman who 'puts up with it all.')"

yes women are aware of it, but find it unacceptable to acknowldge it and it's more acceptable to blame the man.

I actually found this article by searching for information on child abuse because my daughter is the victim of such a situation. I have also scoured the law libraries, and I invite any of you to do the same.

As many of you seem to want to believe that surely this just cannot be true, then read these legal cases studies. As the cases published are only a portion of the cases that go through the court, and the court would publish those they choose, why are there very few that state the child was protected under unnacceptable risk scenarios?

http://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/sinosrch.cgi?method=boolean;meta=%2Fau;mask_path=au%2Fcases%2Fcth%2Ffamily_ct;mask_world=;query=sexual%20abuse;results=20;rank=on;callback=off;legisopt=;view=date;max=;collapse-level=0;offset=0

Here are some more links for you -

http://www.kidsindistress.org.au/

http://www.courageouskids.net/
(yes it is from the US but it you dont think we will have a generation of abused kids that dont have these problems in the future then...)

Whilst the delivery of this article may be perceived by some to be against one sex, and whilst many of you have banged heads about which sex is doing the abusing, that fact that any of you bothered to read the article shows that you have an interest in the subject. Very few people would intentionally read an article like this without some bias already in their minds. I think that maybe we need to calm down about our own feelings of defensiveness for our gender, and automatic blame for the other gender, and focus on the reason this article was written and published in the first place.

Yes, there are demonised Dads - women that use their kids for financial gain are evil. They are extremely narcissistic and care nothing for what they are doing to the man they once loved, or for the future of the kids they are supposedly so desperate to protect. These are the very women that have created a situation where accusers are no longer believed.
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Continued...

However, there are men that also abuse the system. An abusive man would not have to be too clever to realise that his wife cannot stay with him if he is abusing them - sexually or otherwise, without CPS removing the kids and putting them in foster care. If she leaves him with the kids, the court takes the view that she is vengeful. So either way, if he is so inclined to be a vile devious abuser, he wins both ways.

If we remove any perceived gender bias in this article (that seems to be upsetting so many people here) there are facts that any reasonable and intelligent person cannot avoid.
If the accuser cannot prove their case, in many cases the children will be removed from their care and given to the 'alleged' abuser. Why would the court do such a terrible thing? Well the court takes the view that above and beyond all, the importance of a child having a relationship with both parents is paramount. Of course this is the case, in 'normal' situations. However, if the accusing parent cannot prove their case, then they are the ones seen to be causing psychological trauma to the child. In most cases, suddenly the mother (men rarely accuse because it makes them look weak) becomes the abuser!

Dont we have an obligation to our next generation to protect them? Dont we have it in us to pull our own egos out of the equation and work this out?

Or, here's another idea! Lets put our heads in the sand. Pretend its not happening. How are these kids going to grow up? If we are not protecting them now, why should we expect them to protect us when they are running the country in a few decades? If they are doctors, lawyers and politicians are they going to be fighting for our rights? Are they going to be helping us when we need them?

Why cant we do this for them now? They are innocent victims of a system run by us!