Apologies. In my previous post I meant “500k in revenue”, not returns. We all know such returns would be unrealistic after paying for CEO and other senior executives and management.

im a single mother, i have a 3yr old child, no raising my child on welfare isnt the best choice, its my only choice at this point, i dont have people that can care for my child while i work, daycare places have a 12month + waiting list, i am living in the highest employment area that my situation allows, i can't move because then i would be too far from my childs father, who a farmer with alot of assets and supposedly not too much cash because the accountant fiddles the books, so he pays me little for our child in comparison to what he really earns, my childs father should support her and not the government, i raise her everyday and do the hard yards, he has no responsibilty at all, so he should support her, he is more than capable. i wont leave my child with a stranger who has no training in daycare, yes i have looked into the at-home-carers arranged by our council, i tried it, these are untrained ordinary people who have family members and friends walking into that house all day, these people could be molesters for all we know, i would rather raise my child by myself and not work until my child starts school at least then i know she is safe, i am preparing her for school, teaching her to swim and doing everything that the daycarers arent. what about the housewives that are home all day and still receive centrelink benefits and BB's, they have a partner so that makes it ok? And i think people in this discussion need to stop sterotyping all single mothers, you really think this is where we want to be? you really think we are all whores and spend all our money on drugs, alcohol and pokies? we are single mothers because we couldnt keep our relationships together? give me a break, takes 2 to make children, takes 2 to have a relationship and it takes 2 to make it all crumble into nothing!

aj20, why are you raising your child alone?
Your choice or the fathers?
Is the father willing to have at least half the care of the child?

If the father is unwilling to provide half the day to day care of his child then yes he should pay, if he does not do so because of your choices not his then he should have no financial responsibility for the child.

I don't know your situation and am not attempting to pre-judge it, my questions are based on my observtion that most of the single mums I have come across who are not doing shared parenting are doing so because of their own choices not the fathers choices.

Generally a refusal to do shared parenting, moving away from where the father lives (glad to see you have not done this) or a level of interference in the fathers parenting which makes shared parenting unworkable. Those mums who treat children as their own property have no ethical basis for expecting someone else to pay the maintenance on their property.

If you have been left with the full time care of a child that the father wanted born but will not take responsibility for the care of then you have my support. It is a hard road that no-body should have to take on alone.

It might be be useful to do some research into the actual levels of child abuse outside the home, my impression is that much of the current concern is media beat up rather than particularly high levels. The biggest risk to kids of abuse and neglect is in single parent homes, I'm guessing because of parents who don't get a break from the load. I also have the impression that most child sexual abuse happens close to the family (rarely the biological parents though). Be careful who your child spends time with but don't let fear of abuse drive your life, it is not that common. In Queensland the Abused Child Trust web site is a useful starting place, http://www.abusedchildtrust.com.au/./facts.htm

R0bert

BOAZ_David, let me enlighten (rather than inlighten) you to something: a geyser is a natural hot spring that intermittently ejects a column of water and steam into the air. Perhaps you mean geezer…

aj20 I think you make a good point. Single mothers are among the most regularly vilified and that’s wrong. There is nothing wrong with being a single mother.

he has her every 2nd weekend, after our seperation we did 50/50 but the level of care he was giving wasnt satisfactory, he is a farmer and he works long hours and he was doing them with her by his side, call it interfering on my behalf but i find it ridiculous to drag a 2year old around all day doing an adults job, in the end he agreed with me, my ex is welcome in my home anytime if he ever feels the need to see her, and if he wants extra weekends he can come and stay or drive all the way and pick her up, every 2nd weekend he has her i meet him half way, as far as im concerned he should drive all the way and get her, and im sick of single fathers complaining about the child support they have to pay, if the man leaves and leaves her with furniture and a house and everything she has no grounds for complaint, but like myself i left with nothing, i wasnt even allowed to take my daughters bed because of a mans bruised ego, and yet people are still feeling sorry for the poor fathers, yes fathers are entitled to time, but you dont see them getting condemned and labled for being single parents either, most dont put in the hardyards or the money into raising a child but are happy to sit back and pass judgement at their ex's and the job they are doing, those men need to stand up to their responsibilities because the women definetly do!! its about time the lables came off the single mothers and went onto the poor excuses of fathers that are helping bring these children into the world. and maybe if fathers did start putting in the hard yards and helping more they might get to see their children more, men expect too much and give too little, (exception of a few good dads) and why shouldnt the father move to where the mother wants to live?

aj20, maybe you have not noticed the label "deadbeat dads" floating around.

The reason that there is some sympathy (outside the family law system) at the moment for single dads is because we so routinely get worked over really badly by a gender biased family law system. If you want some pain in your life try being on the wrong end of that system for a while.

The reason legitimate single mums are suffering is because so many others are abusing the system. I prefer to see people judged on their merits rather than by labels so I'm with you on that.

Why should the woman get the house, the furniture and everything (which many seem to think they should)?

Dragging a two year old around all day doing farm work does not sound like a good plan, agreed on that. Was he unable to have the child in some childcare because of your objections or because of his location?

"Why shouldn't the father move to where the mother wants to live?" A whole bunch of reasons, the cost of relocating, impact on employment, loss of support networks, lack of certainty that the ex won't just move again etc.

There are no easy answers to this one but remaining in the area where the couple were residing before seperation seems to be the fairest option all round. I know that the concept of a childs best interest is a farce but that is one area where it could easily be applied.

aj20, there are plenty of dads out there who want to be parents to their kids but instead find themselves being relegated to the role of a checkbook to subsidise their ex's distaste for paid employment. Also to many mums who think that they should be the sole arbitrator of how their child is raised and ensure that the father has no opportunity to put in the hard yards that count in a childs life. Until the authorities start differentiating based on the choices people make the situation is unlikely to improve.

R0bert