Robert. Have you seen the commercial on TV where the husband put a car part and a tool in the Dishwasher and then the wife goes into the garage to confront her husband about it, he is under the car, she shows him the car parts etc., and then she hits him with the spannner and walks off.

It think it is disgraceful as it is making it as though violence against men is okay if the woman feels he deserves it.

I was not impressed.

Jolanda, I had not seen that one.

I did see one recently from The Abused Child Trust done to a theme of a horror movie where every suspicious character appeared to be male (not very representative of their own statistics). There was nothing that I saw which suggested that the add was only about child sexual assault (some of which involves female perpetrators).

I've also seen the cough medicine add where a female office worker drops something on a male co worker for coughing too much. Not DV but relevant.

I saw one of the presenters on the ABC's GlassHouse last night bragging about hitting anybody who touches her breast's. Clearly that is not a place to touch somebody uninvited but is hitting an OK response? At what point do we regard it as acceptable for individuals to physically punish someone else for things vs using the law?

The media is full of examples where female initiated violence is regarded as OK. I'm not aware of any places where male violence against women is portrayed as acceptable but there are plenty of male/male examples. The commentary around "the biff" in football being one case.

R0bert

Well … this IS on topic… some will state that it is fabricated

http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-32.htm

How men get shafted - Confessions of a divorcing wife.

As I write this, I am aware that I am probably going to offend some readers, but, … I cannot apologize … however I can only hope to attempt to undo the wrong that I have done.

Before I was married, I was an extreme feminist, with the hopes and dreams of equality... It is my hope that by posting my story and comments, that it will encourage other women, … to come forward and to tell the truth about themselves and their experience. Here is my story, as shameful as it may be.

When I decided to leave my marriage, (I was bored), I went to three different lawyers for advice. I was asked by all 3 of them if I was ever abused by my husband. My answer was, never in any way shape or form was my husband abusive towards me. To my utter disbelief, all of them told me the same thing. Unless I accused my husband of abuse, I would not gain sole custody of my children. They also told me that by making these allegations against him, that I would get EVERYTHING and more. When I asked them how we would prove the allegations, I was told that the courts don't require proof, and to go to a women's shelter, and that they would help me, and that it would support my allegations of abuse.

… I was very uncomfortable with this advice. I was then told by the lawyers, that if I wanted the full support of legal aid, I had no choice but to make the allegations against my husband. Having no money to pay for legal expenses, I did as I was advised. Reluctantly I took my children to a women's shelter. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. On the outside, it appears as they want the public and their funders to see it. This is however, far from the truth.

To be continued…

Confessions of a divorcing wife…continued

This place was a form of a cult, (for lack of a better term). Male bashing was a top priority, and the administration was very adamant about recruiting yet another woman (me), to join this man-haters club. They even have a game plan on how to win in court. By following their simple plan step by step, I would not only get sole custody of my children, but also the car, house and land, plus finances for the rest of my life.

However, if I did not follow their game plan, but if I played fairly, I would lose everything, and I would be endangering the lives of other women, and would jeopardize any funding for them.

… Terms such as 'sperm donors', and that all men were abusive and must die, were used on a daily basis. They were very convincing, and not wanting to jeopardize my fellow house mates, I went along with their game plan.

As soon as I said that I would follow their game plan, things moved very quickly. I saw the man that I was once married to destroyed emotionally, financially and physically. I was granted sole custody of our children, and because of a restraining order, I gained the house and car, so that our children wouldn't lose everything that they were used to. Not only was there a restraining order against him, he was also charged with assault. The man who had equally created our children, helped raise them, and who loves them dearly, was ordered to stay away from them, and to pay me, (more than I ever needed), support for them. Like I said, I destroyed him, leaving him with very little to survive.

My brother is now going through a custody battle, where my former sister-in-law is playing exactly the same game that was taught to me by a women's shelter....

Knowing how I destroyed my ex, and seeing the wrong that I had committed, I have made it my personal endeavour to help my brother with his fight.

Wife has custody. Husband who does not want a divorce loses his children's affection by constant maternal propaganda and disinformation.

Father sees his children dropped off for school outside his house each day near the school. Watches them...binocularsr...emembering reading bedtime stories and saying prayers. Tears roll down his face..he drives past the school..seesthem playing in the playground where once he was accepted but is now shunned by female friends loyal to the wife..their husbands take the soft option.

Can't afford to fight a costly legal battle to enforce his every access every second weekend The children are used like chessmen, unwitting fools, duped.

He borrows heavily to rebuild his life. His cash flow drops terrribly. The Child Support Agency has set the amount regardless of new realities.

does he become violent or act like a lamb...option....a restraining order.
Suicide becomes a reality. Life cut off from all he has worked for becomes a living hell. Pity help any new woman in his life...she will take the back seat for ever and pity help any children from any other union. He has lost the house and now lives in a flat and can't afford to have the car serviced. Meanwhile his wife goes on as if all is the same and pity help Dad if he doesn't pay the Child Support on time...the evil man.

He goes one Friday night to take them on a holiday with them. They are not there. They have gone unannouced on another "holiday" without notice.

He looks at the moon at night and nows the same moonlight shines on his children's faces and his wife is now "free" of the shackles that tie down modern women...off to Coffee Club, sunglasses on heads to bash men,consider the next university course..or book club.

She remarries and her new husband has a bitch of an ex-wife and plays merry hell with his kids' access. Money is short as it all goes to "her"..

Character is nemesis. The mills of the gods' grind slow but they grind exceeding small.

You have come a long way, Baby.

Jolanda,
I saw the add you refered to last night. Perhaps the worst part is the comment by the guy at the end. I think it was "fair enough" or something like that. Hitting a man with an implement is OK if the woman doing so is upset enough apparently. Pretty sad.

That is I suspect a significant problem with a lot of the DV stats, a lot of people appear to believe that female to male violence is justifable and not really DV.

For anybody who cares the product being advertised is a "Morning Fresh " one. Dishwasher pellets I think.

R0bert