Tracy A - very well put.

The trend towards 'metrosexualising' men may well have a significant impact on problems in relationships. I don't know what emphasis is put on 'blokising' (how would you spell that) women. I suspect most men live more comfortably with a woman who can get her hands dirty in the garden, just as most women probably prefer a guy who is not scared to use an iron. Society appears to still be working through some of those issues - with a lot of chaos along the way.

How much of the current unhappiness by women towards men is because many men don't do the 'metrosexual' thing well?

Marriage/relationships need to be a mix of warts and all along with working to meet a partners needs rather than glossy images and demands for change. Maybe then we will all be a lot happier.

I tend to think the term “metro-sexual male” is actually a media invention, and it is a part of a system of selling “male bashing” whereby any social problem is to be blamed on a male. A male must now be “metro-sexual” or he is not in the race, but it is an artificial concept. The term “metro-sexual female” is rarely seen, and I think that hormones dictate that there cannot be such a thing as a “metro-sexual male” or a “metro-sexual female”. These are artificial terms applied by the media.

The media is VERY powerful and growing. There were very few magazines, TV stations, radio stations, web-sites, etc now as there were even 20 yrs ago. Most of this media is fiction, or at best “infotainment”, where it is a mixture of information (or fact) and entertainment (or fiction). Unfortunately, I think the balance of media is now entertainment (or fiction), and it is also addictive, mesmerising and brainwashing.

The statements contained in this article are not fact, and it would easily find its way into “fiction” type media.

The media industry is very protective of what it is doing as it has enormous financial and political interests to protect.

I could relate what was done with just one magazine to have it alter its content. Numerous organisations and individuals were contacted over many months but to no avail. People within the media industry completely disregarded complaint, while those outside of the media industry were totally agreeable with the complaints about that magazine. At the end of it all, that magazine continues, it is targeted towards young children, and it has increased its circulation and has now branched out into TV.

So the best thing a parent can do is to limit media for their children as much as possible, if not “Turn it off”, and take back the child.

It is not necessary for a child or an adult to be assailed by so much media, and they can disperse with magazines, and they can even leave the TV off (after they go through withdrawals of course).

Wow! Ringtail has a heart!

Tracy A, I really appreciate your contribution. Perhaps one needs to be mother to sons, or father to daughters, to become fearful of the politics.

Hi Timkins,

Very pertinent. Donahoo makes an argument based upon only one motivation. Another possible motivation, certainly not comprehensive but I hope thought-provoking:

A young man chats to his mate over a beer. "I want to get married and have kids by the time I'm 25."

"Why, mate? Haven't you heard the divorce rate topped 50% this year?"

"Yeah I know, but I will make sure that won't happen, and even if it does, I wouldn't be the one at fault, so she would be the one who lost everything."

"Think again mate. Remember Tony? He caught his missus in bed with his best mate. She still got the lot: house, car, kids, super, and he spent a fortune in lawyers just to see his kids."

"Yeah, but my marriage will be different."

"What about Jack then? He can't even pay for a beer. His missus has him up to the eyeballs in Child Support, and the debt survives bankruptcy!"

"I didn't know that... but it won't apply to me, I know I will find a girl who will love me no matter what."

"Yeah ok, ok. Like Trev. He found a beautiful girl, then she had kids and decided she didn't need him any more. Gone, mate, just like that."

"I thought he misbehaved."

"Nah mate, he didn't. Fact is, you have no legal protection if your missus wants to leave, and you're more than likely to lose the lot."

"How do you know that? Now you're starting to make me worry."

"Cause it happened to Tony, it happened to Jack and it happened to Trev. And guess what? It happened to me too."

"Gee mate, I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I was lucky enough not to have kids before it happened. I wouldn't ever have kids or get married again. It's not worth the risk."

"I'll have to think about that, hey?"

If women are having trouble finding good men, maybe they need to lobby the government to make marriage more secure?

Everyone talks about young men taking "personal responsibility". Let's consider:

1. Family Law 1975: no-fault divorce.

2. 40% of boys (and girls) will go to bed tonight without their father in the house.

3. Most women do not like, and shouldn't take, much of the traditional "role" of fathering of boys. See below.

4. Virtually all reputable studies point to a decay of boys' ability and attitude in fatherless households.

5. Mothers can and do, wittingly or not, exclude fathers from their boys' lives.

6. Children have "rights" in the Family Court, reinforced in school. At 18, they abruptly lose these "rights". Parents have no legal rights to their children. The court has deemed that resident parents (87% female) have rights by virtue of the children's "rights".

For 30 years, fatherless boys have seen single mothers abuse single fathers or viceversa, the freedom of singledom, the erosion of marriage... and have become, in some cases, self-centred little monsters.

An infinitessimal example: few mothers, assumedly, would enjoy their young boys jumping on their chest. Mothers who do roughhouse could cause their boys to disrespect their future female partners.

Yet fathers frequently roughhouse. As a part of the training of young aggressive (NB I say not violent) boys, this allows the dad to teach boys when "enough is enough". This is just one tiny example of numerous critical development issues which fathers can provide best, allowing for boys to temper their behaviour and learn how to become responsible and self-giving.

Selfish young men and women are in no small measure due to shaky Family Law damaging families for 30 years, and the offshoots, taken up by other laws, leaders, media and advertising. They tell children how very important they are and how unimportant others are, and that relationships are likely to be miserable and short-lived.

Government must lead the way in taking intact childed marriages and relationships seriously, backing people who also take them seriously, penalising people who don't, including those who erode them from the inside through abuse, neglect or needless abandonment.

Seeker,

I often look at my own parents’ marriage of 36 years (still going), and the hell they went through in rough patches, and wonder how on earth they made it through…

Is it that my father and his parents were WWII refugees and, having lost all family back home, he felt compelled to make sure our family stuck together? Was it that my mother, whose father was a violent alcoholic and mother endured many bouts of deep depression and ECT, understood that marriage was bloody hard work, whatever your circumstances?

It inspires me that, at age 60, my dad has attended an anger management group for three years now. He says just talking to other men who have been victimised and wronged by a culture of blaming men, has “freed him” from abuse he suffered as a child.

I wonder whether having been raised in an era of seemingly-infinite wealth, and told we should get whatever we want, our resentment simmers when one part of our lives isn’t going to plan. Many of us feel we deserve instant luxury, constant happiness, and relationships where we get whatever we want. It’s a disposable culture where people and relationships have become expendable in the pursuit of personal fulfilment, and entertainment at our fingertips has fostered a culture of short-attention-span living.

We should reject a media that seeks to divide and conquer, and instead groom our kids in a sophisticated understanding of the media’s role in manufacturing desire, manipulating self-esteem, exaggerating self-importance, and encouraging snap decision-making as a solution to life’s problems.

We all need to remain aware that the media doesn’t care one way or another whether it degrades people, just so long as it sells. Everyone must get vocal in telling broadcasting authorities that the exploitation of men, women, children, elderly people, ethnic minorities - is unacceptable - because our silence indicates our acceptance of these tactics.

Our kids need to be told there is reward in delayed gratification and in nurturing, rather than defeating, other human beings. That way, they may survive adulthood with their self-esteem, and relationship, intact.