Sir Les Patterson the Greatest http://youtu.be/doX2-qbx3tE?t=23s

Hi Mavs,

Sir Les Patterson, the consummate politician, he sat on the "Cheese Board" you know, Stilton he thinks, it was still on the arse of his trousers!

The one and only, had I taken a leaf from his book. The most likely outcome would have been. My ivories would have been knocked so far down my throat, my ass would look like a piano keyboard.
Alan B.

If your mum had wheels, she'd have been a bike.
Alan B.

Yep Alan B.

They call her the Toorak bike, cos everyone rides her.

Mavs

To rack and ruin, Mav.

A pianist was busy playing for a pub crowd. who keep filling his jar and glass. Anyhow as the evening wore on, the drinks started to take their toll. And required many comfort breaks.

After the last comfort break the pianist came back not completely dressed. And his visible manhood was keeping time with the music.

This disturbed a little old lady no end and she felt obliged to draw attention to this event. Whereupon she informed the player, sir, do you know your fly is open?

No lady, replied the pianist, but if you hum a few bars, I'll try and play it.
Alan B.

A young man was visiting his 84-year-old grandfather in a nursing home. And as they chatted a young nurse walked in carrying a tray with a hot chocolate and a Viagra.

The young man's eyes widened, and he asked what's that for? Well, replied the lass, the hot chocolate is to help him sleep.

Yes, I get that, replied the young man, but Viagra, he's 84!

Oh, that is to ensue he doesn't fall out of bed while asleep.
Alan B.