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The Forum > Article Comments > On death and dying > Comments

On death and dying : Comments

By Don Aitkin, published 29/7/2021

I live in an aged-care facility, commonly referred to as 'God's waiting room'. I've been there now for two and a half years, and am the longest-serving resident at my table.

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Don. The very last thing you'll do is die? I'll never understand why graveyards are so popular. After all, everyone there was just dying to move in. And accommodation to die for!

The Irish have a saying which goes, Life wasn't meant to be taken too seriously, after all, none of us get of it alive?

Now I understand why you write so much, Don. Keep on contributing to informed debate, Don. That's needed today as never before! And as always, I'll reserve my right to robustly disagree!

Good luck, long life and prosper! Take care and have a very nice day!
Alan B.
Posted by Alan B., Thursday, 29 July 2021 1:26:20 PM
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Don has mentioned going for drives with his son Foxy, so I don't think he lacks family contact, however most friends are a fact of time & place.

I don't have contact with any of my navy mates, late 50s, & have contact with only one motor racing mate, [60s] & one sailing mate, [70s]. My friends today are from my Triumph car club, Remote con troll flying club, & local people involved in community activities, [last 35 years]. I think that is usual today, with our mobile society. We no longer live in one village with life long friends.

Yesterday I installed a new pressure pump on one of my household water tanks. The old one had been repaired so often that it was getting like Grandpa's axe. You know the one, it'd had 5 new handles & 2 new heads. It was 35 years old, & time to go.

It took me 5 hours to do a 1 hour job, including a 1 hour break to get the knees & back straight again. It reminded me that like the p[ump I've been round a long time.

Like Don I have an age goal, it's 84 years. You see I am a leap year baby, so never got a 21St birthday, in fact I've only had 20 so far. At my 21St year I was already a hot shot navy fighter pilot, so wasn't about to admit to my compatriots I was still just a kid, so no party.

I had an 80Th party, which was fun, seeing some long not seen, if not lost, friends, & a huge 21St would be great. I just hope I don't break down like that pump before then.

Incidentally the last thing I want to do is make it to 99 like my mother. She didn't either, but did not have much say in it.
Posted by Hasbeen, Thursday, 29 July 2021 1:31:52 PM
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I guess we can only speak from our own experiences
with aging and nursing homes. My mother-in-law
had alzeimers - and she went ballistic when she
was diagnosed. She lived with us for a while but
it was difficult and finally we had to put her into
a nursing home. A lovely Blue Cross one. The care she
received was excellent. We visited every day and
took her out regularly, including to our home and for
sleep-overs. The same went for my mum. Mum was diagnosed
with dementia. And I was thoroughly involved in mum's
nursing home with all the programs and activities. I
made sure that none of our mum's felt alo0ne.

I have spent time in a nursing home for respite both
after my falls and after my husband's fall. And in
rehab as well. I found the staff amazing and dedicated
and got on well with all of them. I also made friends
with the other residents and took part in all of the
activities. Nursing homes for me don't pose and fears.
Hopefully, I shall do well no matter where I end up.

I also wish Prof Don Aitkin all the best - and to keep
writing and sharing his views and expertise with us.
Stay strong Sir and remember that you are very highly
regarded and loved by so many.
Posted by Foxy, Thursday, 29 July 2021 1:45:58 PM
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This reference features a unique Illuminated Understanding of death, dying, and everything else too.
http://www.deathanddyingwisdom.com
Posted by Daffy Duck, Thursday, 29 July 2021 7:11:52 PM
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Don- Take care mate- If it helps- when you go I'll remember you for your virtues and for your contribution to our woven traditions- but I hope to continue to hear your voice through your writing.

I try to read your posts when I can.

Sometimes I walk through a war memorial reading every name plate placed by their families- truly great- some discredit the past- for me it's here woven into the present- I guess they can't see- sad.

I'm sure often you feel your family is so far away in time and space- and you're trapped with strangers in a strange place run by strange people- I hope that at these times you consider us as confidants in your journey- just a key away.

I sometimes disdain the weakness of my own reflection- the paradox of the acknowledged facts- human's are social beings.

For the wise- a word is enough.

Take care mate.

We'll all be where you are soon enough
Posted by Canem Malum, Friday, 30 July 2021 5:12:56 AM
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I first came across Don Aitken back in the mid 1970s. He wrote for a weekly newspaper/magazine called The National Times which was the finest newspaper this country has ever produced. It covered issues in depth and often had two journalists cover the same issue from different perspectives. The paper saw the coming together of several excellent journalists and writers and quite a few book grew out of that journalism, such as "Elect the Governor-General" and "the Crisis in Australian Capitalism".

Don wrote a weekly article for the paper. It was my first introduction to data and statistically based political and social science and became the favourite regular column in the paper. Although column isn't the right word since he was given a entire page, generally the inside back page, to develop his arguments.

I seem to think that Don's book, "Surveys of Australian Political Science" grew out of these articles. For me, his writings opened up a whole new way to view the political and social landscape and I remain grateful for that early learning.

I was pleased to see that, a decade or two later, he and I had travelled similar paths to arrive at conclusions about the great global warming scare - again statistics and empirical data informing the conclusion.

I had an old distant uncle in my youth who you'd only see once a year if that. But he was wise and well-read and I always sought him out at the occasional family function he'd attend. I think of Don like that - a distant acquaintance who was pivotal at an important part of my development.

It's difficult to think of such people growing old and less robust. I can but hope that the facility he now inhabits is as kindly as that which housed my mother and that he gets those 4 more years.

It's sobering to realise that the great battles of our youth are but confetti at our death. All we can hope for is that we leave, as Don will have left, a legacy of a life well lived.
Posted by mhaze, Friday, 30 July 2021 7:46:22 AM
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