To Toni Lavis.

You asked, what's wrong with casual sex. For one thing that pertains to this discussion it feeds the issues of abortion and the willingness to kill an unborn child. And in that people are willing and able to look for justification to that choice. From debates on if the fetus is a human yet, to officiating the issue by calling it a fetus in the first place. Without casual sex as being as acceptable, abortion might occur less often. (Regardless if it's legal and safe, or done in unsafe conditions). To really fix this issue though, it's not just that casual sex shouldn't be accepted, but also that life is more important then facing people's reactions to having sex outside of marriage. That way when casual sex does happen, it doesn't have to feed the issue to choose abortion.

Moving off the topic of abortion. What's wrong with casual sex is that it is often confused with love by at least one of the participants of the sex. Going back to heartbreak and suicide, if people held off on showing their love in the act of sex, they could fight off this reason for suicide. Wait until there's a commitment before getting into bed with someone.

Even without suicide as a result. The heartbreak you avoid giving, results in not having casual sex. It also can fend off adultery because those cheating on their spouse won't have the chance to have a casual fling if the other people to have a fling with expect more commitment before giving themselves up in the act. Without casual sex so many STDs can be avoided as well. A point earlier made by David F that abortion isn't the problem, pregnancy is. But if casual sex wasn't socially accepted (and largely expected) then pregnancy wouldn't be a problem that needed a killing solution for.

Not to mention how sex is used in unhealthy relationships. That's an issue on it's own, and hopefully too rare to count as a reason. But it is out there.

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There you go Toni. Reasons why casual sex should not be accepted, or promoted. That said I don't think my words will be enough to influence people away from our strong sexual desires. In my opinion having other solutions to abortion is one step. The baby hatch is one of those options and I approve of it. Unfortunately in the countries that have it practiced, not many have laws that support it. I wasn't aware of much of that info before you shared that link. So again I thank you. A second step might be stronger values towards unborn babies as being unborn babies. And with that more of the population having kids even though they had them out of marriage or had them in their teens. It can be done. One of my high school friends had a loving mother who had her as a teen. Personally I'm happy she's alive and wasn't aborted.

It might also discourage others from having sex too early because they watch their friend go through the pregnancy and the labor. Not to discourage having children, but to realize that they aren't ready for that yet. A solution that might be two generations away to change our culture of casual sex, but can start now with our generation valuing the life in them and going full term instead of aborting.

Dear undead human aka NNS,

The right of a woman to have an abortion by a qualified medical practitioner has been a hard-fought right which is now the law of the land. I would like to see adequate information on preventing conception provided in the schools and other places, an adequate supply of contraceptives and encouragement of their use. That would make abortion less needed but would not eliminate it. Unfortunately many of those who are against abortion are also against the use of contraceptives. They are against people having sexual relations unless people go through certain formalities. H. L. Mencken described the ideology of these people as “Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”



A few years ago I attended an atheist's convention in Melbourne. It was a sedate affair with discussion. Some of the discussions involved the persecution and murder of people who openly proclaimed themselves as atheists. In some societies that happens. In Australia we have the freedom to have any opinion regarding religion. The atheists convention was a sedate affair- no drunks – no outrageous pranks or obnoxious behavior. Outside the building there were groups of Muslim and Christian pickets. Apparently they objected to the fact we didn’t subscribe to their theistic fantasies.

Nearby was a hotbed of vice – a casino. Casinos bring with a host of social ills such as bankruptcies and prostitution. However, the pickets didn’t seem concerned with the casino or the social ills connected with it. They were upset with us.

Some God-botherers not only have the fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy, they want to control both the minds and bodies of others who don’t share their delusions.

//From debates on if the fetus is a human yet, to officiating the issue by calling it a fetus in the first place.//

Foetus is the technically correct term for a human in certain phase of the prenatal development. It goes zygote -> blastocyst -> embryo -> foetus, if my memory serves me correctly. I shouldn't worry too much about it if I were you. It's technical jargon, intended for biologists and doctors and science nerds like me who to be technically correct about stuff. Regardless of what you call it it's still the same thing.

//Without casual sex as being as acceptable, abortion might occur less often.//

Yeah, but expecting people to just abstain from Cody simply isn't realistic. He has his own truck, does a hundred push-ups every morning and plays the guitar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKDlyjce-UM

Sorry, dude. Cody's really popular. And frankly, it's not hard to see why. I think that you'll be fighting a losing battle to make Cody less acceptable, even if it would reduce the abortion rate. I really think that a better strategy would be to educate people as much as possible about Cody, rather than wasting all your efforts of trying to make people not like Cody. Because mate, we've always liked Cody and we always will. It's hardwired in, I'm afraid.

//What's wrong with casual sex is that it is often confused with love by at least one of the participants of the sex.//

Yeah, perhaps, when they're young and naive I suppose. I rather suspect that even fairly thick people cotton on fairly quickly that there's a bit more to love than shagging a stranger. I feel sorry for those who don't... but what can you do?

//Going back to heartbreak and suicide, if people held off on showing their love in the act of sex, they could fight off this reason for suicide.//

Well I've had some bad sex in my time, but if it leaves you heartbroken and suicidal....

Hang on, you're not talking about casual sex at all, are we? You're talking about sex between committed, romantically involved couples. Not just two strangers hooking up for a shag. I don't consider the sort of sex you're talking about to be 'casual sex', NNS. Just because sex occurs outside of marriage, that doesn't automatically make it 'casual sex'. The technical term for sex outside of marriage is 'fornication', but it's not necessarily casual. An engaged couple fornicating could hardly be said to be just having 'casual sex', could they? They're engaged for Christ's sake.

//Wait until there's a commitment before getting into bed with someone.//

Why? Because IF the casual sex happens to be vaginal intercourse and IF the guy cums and IF his condom fails and IF her pill fails and IF all that results in a pregnancy then an abortion might be the result?

Lot of IF's there, NNS. And there's fairly simple way to stop that first domino falling. I'm surprised you're not familiar with it - it's called God's Loophole and it's very popular with some bible-bashers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY

Nah, just kidding. That's gross. Good song though.

But everybody likes oral :)

//It also can fend off adultery because those cheating on their spouse won't have the chance to have a casual fling if the other people to have a fling with expect more commitment before giving themselves up in the act.//

We're not talking about adultery, but I'll give you points for trying.

//Without casual sex so many STDs can be avoided as well.//

Yeah, and if you spend your life in a sterile plastic bubble you can avoid all the non-sexually transmitted diseases as well. And a lot of them are lot worse.

BTW, did you know that you probably have herpes already and you just don't realise it because you don't have symptoms? You're welcome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU4VcOQzQm0

Alternatively you can do what most of us do when it comes to all the nasty diseases waiting to get us: take reasonable precautions, get your shots, practice good hygiene, have regular medical check ups and consult a doctor sooner or later about any symptoms that concern you.

//But if casual sex wasn't socially accepted (and largely expected) then pregnancy wouldn't be a problem//

No, it would still be a problem. A lot of women who have abortions are in married or in committed relationships.

//Not to mention how sex is used in unhealthy relationships.//

Sorry, no points for trying to conflate consensual sex and abuse. What are you, a third-wave feminist?