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The Forum > Article Comments > Prostate cancer no longer secret men's business > Comments

Prostate cancer no longer secret men's business : Comments

By Susan Prior, published 17/11/2014

Three men and one woman and a personal tale of how prostate cancer affected them all.

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>As a couple we are content<?
Really?
I'm not sure any woman can speak for, let alone understand a man's needs, save if they have a three month course of testosterone injections.
And then find that their "hunted" (not tonight dear I've a headache)partner has taken to climbing up on the roof and pulling the ladder up after him.
Yes sure the digital rectal examination, although almost the most painful experience I've ever endured, exposes some nasty or completely benign lumps or none, but just as surely misses others, which almost always are the very ones we need to detect!
Older women are advised to have a routine mammogram every three years or so, even when it also is a little uncomfortable.
And even then there are some that are missed or misdiagnosed.
I favor a routine tri annual M.I.R. scan, which would be far cheaper and more affordable in the long run, if the Government dipped into its pocket and bought a few hundred Machines.
And less costly as part of preventive care, than dealing with the aftermath, and or lives just not extended by surgery or worse, castration!
Fortunately, there are now more efficacious, less invasive procedures coming to the fore; and would advise anyone contemplating serious surgery, to seek a second, third or fourth opinion!
But particularly, before shelling out tens of thousands on (informed consent) surgery, which may well have worse side effects than the disease.
Perhaps I could write an essay on ovarian cancer, well I have had one breast lump removed, but then I would be writing from mostly observation rather than experience, as is the well meaning author.
A friend and neighbor had the surgery; and lived for only a year after that!
Maybe it would have been 3-5 years, if but he'd been happy!?
The real reason for longevity!
Many Priests have had reported prostate problems?
Could that be connected to compulsory celibacy, and the inevitable frustration it must surely cause?
Get the "connection" or rather, its lack ladies!
Rhrosty.
Posted by Rhrosty, Monday, 17 November 2014 12:41:10 PM
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thank you Susan for an interesting article and your perspective.
Posted by Wolly B, Monday, 17 November 2014 4:01:33 PM
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Your husband is blessed to have a good wife sticking by him Susan. I very much admire wives or husbands who stick by their loved ones in difficult circumstances. Interesting that some countries have next to no prostrate cancer. Makes you wonder how much it is related to our diets.
Posted by runner, Monday, 17 November 2014 4:42:12 PM
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By the time this cancer has spread to the bones, making them very brittle and as easy to break as fine china, (even a fit of coughing can result in a painful broken rib) it's too late to do anything, save attend to the happiness of the victim!
And whether we want to understand it or not, happiness may well add years to the life of the partner, and or the relationship.
And usually, all that's required are small acts of kindness!
Everybody has a date with destiny, and none can avoid it!
But we can live better and live in the moment, by setting aside our own pain at this news/diagnoses of impending loss!
After all, it's never about us, or is it?
My friend, neighbor and talk of the town, was apparently extremely dedicated to a very sick wife, and reportedly did everything for her.
Cooked, cleaned and kept a decent garden, always overflowing with fresh green vegetables.
Strike up a conversation over the garden fence, and a mournful cry would invariably emanate from the house; I need this, I need that, fetch this or fetch that; run this or that errand; (yes dear, no dear, just as you say dear) and so each day would pass, with never an audible please or thank you!? But rather, what took you so long?
Strangely, once he died, just a year after the op, she seemed to make a full recovery, and able to do almost everything for herself; including mowing the lawn and caring for the vege garden?
I sometimes wonder, if he was glad to go, and couldn't wait to end his dawn to dark lifelong servitude?
Given, I understand the experience, of sole care nursing of a sick relative 24/7, and for the best part of a decade.
Yes sure, both a privilege and a pleasure for a loved one!
But the unremitting and usually increasing workload, does make one very tired, and glad for them and you, when it's finally over!
From a very different perspective.
Rhrosty.
Posted by Rhrosty, Monday, 17 November 2014 4:57:14 PM
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Hi Susan

Thankyou for the article - sad. It goes to prove cancer sucks - especially cancers for which the "cures" (depending on age and other circumstance) may be worse than the disease.

Regards

Pete
Posted by plantagenet, Monday, 17 November 2014 8:10:44 PM
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Thank you for the article, it is always heartening that some women (and more men too!) are challenging society's belief that men are disposable.

Movember
http://au.movember.com/events/
Posted by onthebeach, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 1:08:31 AM
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What this didn't cover is that if you have private health insurance, radiation bead implantation is an option, however even with medi-care rebate and the private health insurance, out of pocket expenses will be over 20,000 dollars.

If you are only covered by medi-care, the waiting list for the implantation of radiation beads is I believe around 12 to 18 months.
Posted by Wolly B, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 7:32:09 AM
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< sometimes wonder, if he was glad to go, and couldn't wait to end his dawn to dark
<lifelong servitude?\<
<Given, I understand the experience, of sole care nursing of a sick relative 24/7, and for
<the best part of a decade.
From a very different perspective.
Rhrosty.
Posted by Rhrosty, Monday, 17 November 2014 4:57:14 PM

I understand that ex-nurses can be the patient from HELL, Rhrosty.
Posted by Wolly B, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 7:53:40 AM
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Susan, thank you. This was obviously not an easy piece for you to write and it wasn't an easy piece to read, but the topic is important and often minimised.

Just as with that great female illness, breast cancer, it's often the partners and children of victims who can best express the impact. Unlike breast cancer,prostate disease is largely an affliction of age fortunately, but prophylactic surgery and its impacts are often a problem for men still in their vigour. It's easy to see why some men may decide that Hobson's choice is no choice at all and take their chances with a slow progression of the disease.

Your husband is a lucky man to have you.
Posted by Craig Minns, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 8:04:29 AM
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>Radiation bead implantation is an option<
Arguably Woolly, it's the only option, and the huge and costly gap is an absolute disgrace, and ought to be outlawed.
I can recall pre-medicare private health funds were invariably not for profit schemes; often started by very decent Doctors, trying as best they could; to fulfil the intention of the Hippocratic oath and assist patients as much as they could; in deed as well as word.
And as an aging memory serves, one could buy some affordable schemes, that covered the whole cost of unusually expensive procedures? Why ever else would one buy insurance!?
Those condemned to otherwise die an often incredibly lonely death, shouldn't be very effectively prevented from saving their lives and their important relationships, just so now greedy (Americanized and soon to be also privatized) health care funds can pad out the bottom line even more; just to make acquisition by big super funds and the like, even more palatable.
Proper health care and profits, are like guns and alcohol, a very bad mix, with often unwanted negative outcomes!
Suggest patients, or the concerned sensible over fifties, simply look for and take up membership in a not for profit fund, and then see just how much extra their normal premium payment buys?
Suggest you look up Friendly societies, and compare the outcomes, which by the way, is never ever suggested by so called free comparison services; given it would seem, there is no commision in it for them for so doing.
As always with these so called free services, somebody pays, and invariably it's the consumer, via premium premiums/reduced service results/larger and often completely unaffordable gaps; which by the way, all too often condemn the unwary!
[I'm not all that sure that the castrated miss sex all that much; but as sure as hell miss the completely normal human affection that was and is integral/central to it!]
Caveat Emptor, let the buyer beware!
Live long and prosper.
Rhrosty.
Posted by Rhrosty, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 9:05:35 AM
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Susan Prior here. Thanks for the kind comments, folks. My husband opted for robotic surgery; we have top medical cover and we were out of pocket for the operation alone by $16,000. Over that financial year our out-of-pocket medical expenses, virtually all of which were his, came to $25,000. In contrast, my brother had the same surgery in the UK and he had it done on the National Health for 'free', but therein lies a whole new can of worms, so we won't go there, as we all know nothing is for free! I know it nearly broke us, but there you are. I have become very cynical about health insurance since then.
As for my father, he was too late for anything other than to have an orchiectomy (guys, look that one up, your eyes will water). But even though cancer was right through his bones, he kept running (against all advice) for the next four years, and survived a further two. We were really concerned about the running, but if anything it seemed to strengthen his brittle bones.
I should also offer a big thanks to my husband for allowing me to air his frailties to the wider world. Fortunately he doesn't share my surname so he is relatively anonymous.
Posted by Write-now, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 10:45:57 AM
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