Debbie,

I agree with your sentiments. The mother to be should be able to count on the caring and support of parents and partner but as this support require sacrifice, it cannot be enforced.

If my teenage daughter fell pregnant and wished to keep the child, I would provide all the support and care I could, but with the best intentions in the world, the likelihood of my daughter completing the medical degree she is working for would be remote with a baby, as it is hard enough without.

This is reality. A woman has to consider her options based on her circumstances. That is choice.

Debbie "Men have no legal right to a say about abortion."

Really? When was that restriction on free speech enacted.

As I understand it there is generally no legal restriction on expressing an opinion or preference. No legal right to control the womans choice on the matter but thats quite difference to having a say. In a similar way that a doctor ensuring a woman is aware of her options is different to coercion.

My grief with many in the pro-choice camp is that they refuse men the same rights to choice when it comes to ongoing responsibility. Many of the same reasons for not wanting to take on responsibility for a child apply, generally the choices regarding contraception are more limited for men than women and yet some are adament that if the woman choose to have the child the man pays regardless of his needs or wants.

That particular double standard annoys me intensly but it's no reason to take choice away from women.

R0bert

@R0bert, sorry, this was poorly expressed. I did not intend to imply an opinion that fathers should have no rights, but that as the law stands, they only have a responsibility to support a child if a mother decides to give birth, however no right not to if they don't 'choose' the child, and no right to parent if the mother 'chooses' otherwise.

@Shadow Minister. Parents are not required, nor should it be enforced that they support their parenting children. I have not suggested this support can only come from parents or family. In fact this support can effectively be provided by lots of different people.

I agree that as things currently stand for many university aged women trying to parent, it can be incredibly difficult. My point is that it shouldn't be made more difficult by withdrawal of, of lack of necessary supports.

As someone who was both a teenage parent, and went back to university as a single parent of 2 to earn 3 university degrees, I can assure you that all things are possible. As a grandmother, I can assure you the joys of loving, nurturing and supporting parenting children and their children far outweigh any perceived sacrifices.

In fact, whilst there have been challenges and changes necessary at times in order to be of assistance to my children, they have all been worth it, just as the 'sacrifices' I made along the way for my children were worth it. It is all a matter of perspective.

I understand and respect that others may have different experiences. However that does not change the fact that women need not be isolated from the support that can be offered and made to feel that it will be too hard and they are on their own..a not uncommon experience amongst many that we hear from.

This article is not about abortion it is about maintaining a woman’s undeniable right to support when she decides to have a child. Such an undeniable right should never exist.

Those who are in control of funds to distribute – be they government, council, church or whatever are free to distribute those funds however they best see fit. They may simply use their power of choice to send these funds in other directions than towards the support of women who want to pursue a path to motherhood. It is not necessarily a foregone conclusion that this is what they should do. Governments may decide to spend the funds on an increase in migration or support for refugees or overseas aid. These are human beings as well. Women who have everything else in life but a baby are doing pretty well compared to refugees in Syria where they are starving to death. No woman needs a baby – what we’d like and what we need are two entirely different things. Ask a Syrian woman on the side of a war torn road whether she’d prefer food in her mouth or a baby and you would soon learn a thing about preferences.

I think it is a sign of maturity that a wealthy country like ours reaches out to other human beings and helps them achieve basic needs instead of wasting our good fortune on pandering to the desires of someone who may not get a university degree if they go through with their pregnancy.

This article is not an advocacy for supporting women who want to have a baby it is an article of someone trapped in a belief that motherhood is the most sublime value to aspire to. For her, it far outweighs the value of justice and compassion. She writes to convince herself.

Debbie

‘How is it a sign of maturity for a woman to succumb to another person's pressure to abort when she wants the child?’

I was challenging your assumption that the woman did indeed ‘succumb to another person’s pressure’. Your whole essay treats women as if they are child-slaves to other people’s needs and demands.

We’ve been conditioned by an abortion-hating culture (despite all you say about it being the other way round) to believe that a woman is heroic and sublimely courageous to proceed with an unwanted pregnancy, regardless of how unwise that would be.

Often women who decide to abort may do so for unselfish, mature reasons, while women who proceed with an unwanted pregnancy may do so for selfish reasons without any concern for the needs of their significant others.

As a Grandparent, youngest 11 mths, being part of a large extended family where numerous junior relatives have young families - plus 2 nieces, one with a 6mth old (single mum), other about to have baby#3, I decided to put the Debbie Garret assertion: "Doctors routinely offer terminations to healthy pregnant mothers carrying normal foetuses" to the test.

My 7 young women include daughter, nieces and 4 from extended family aged 19 to 39, total of 13 children aged 9 yrs down to 6 mths and a 37 week pregnancy. Some had received ante-natal and maternal care through Public Hospital systems, others through Private Drs & Hospitals.

Question I texted each one: At any time during your pregnancy/s - but particularly when you visited family GP or hospital clinic to have pregnancy confirmed and/or 1st ante-natal appointment: Were you ever asked directly "Do you want this?" or similar question which you took as a blunt query as to whether you wanted an abortion?

6 out of 7 replied with answers like "No. Why do you ask?" "What sort of question is that? I would have told u if that happened" (Daughter) It was only my niece - the 19 year old solo mum who answered: "Dr said was I happy to go through with it I said yes, I wanted to."

Then asked her if that was the end of it? Replied: Asked do I want refer to social worker. If decide don't want baby return to clinic asap. Told him don't believe in abortion he said OK.

If that exchange with a teenaged girl with limited close family support is deemed "Coercion" then actions of many zealous pro-lifers must rate as "terrorism" ...

However the other 6 mothers with the 12 children and one advanced pregnancy between them say "No" and "Not that I can ever remember" which for my money makes Debbie guilty of more than a little fervid exaggeration ..

Anyone else tried asking pregnant or recent mothers in their family?