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Do it my way or else : Comments
By John Gore, published 26/8/2011When a person is frightened by persistent bullying behaviours aimed at exerting power and, as a consequence, change their decisions, behaviours or beliefs, then they have been bullied.
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Second, why is 'bullying' issue of the year? I doubt the number of jerks in the world has suddenly gone up. More likely, it's because high-powered lawyers have discovered they can sue for damages if they can prove that the boss was impolite towards an incompetent employee. We used to say the boss was angry, or a perfectionist, or never satisfied, or unsympathetic. None of which are illegal, but 'bullying' is.
What should we do about it? Probably not 'enfranchise' the drunk at the train station, or the 9-yr-old who's six inches taller than anyone else in the 3rd grade, or the hard-arsed boss. 'Get over it' usually works. If someone's seriously threatening or uneasonable, there's a host of recourses, including laws defining intimidation. Which don't address 'bullying' for the simple reason it's too vague a concept. One person's bully is another's strong leader.
Some people feel insufficiently forceful, lack self-esteem, aren’t confident Some are just weak. Some are whingers who blame those around them for their misery. Most of them aren't bullies. Many are victims, who quit their jobs because the boss wasn't happy with their work, and said so. They're often the ones who claim to be bullied ... which is no end of help to their claim for unfair dismissal.
Making bullies feel good about themselves sounds nice, but it's probably impractical. Most people change their behaviours because they make too many enemies and not enough friends. For the most part, I think we should ignore bullying, unless and until it's unreasonable enough to be a violation of law. The problem with talking about it as a huge social problem is that, soon enough, some politician will pass a law against it. We still won't know what it really is, so lawyers will have to make it up for us.