The costs of caring for the elderly are going up, but not because of the reasons you state, Valerie - or at least they are very minor reasons.

1)We are all living longer due to better health care and dietary intake.
2)we have a greater percentage of elderly because the birth rate has fallen.
3)expectations of care have increased - the minimum standards allowed have risen.

4)in the past it was expected that there would be family input and government input as a last resort - nowadays, even anyone can renege on the care of their family member and leave it to the government if they so wish AND they very often (mostly) do.

In times gone by the extended family was more prevalent than it is today. The elderly would stay with different members of their family or would be visited regularly as support.

This doesn't happen much in this day and age.
Our families grow up and may move far away from home.
Some of us grow up from the cradle believing that we are entitled to it all and that we have no responsibility to look after our elderly and or, in fact, other people in need of care.

That's just the way it is. If anyone is to blame it's the continuing erosion of our responsibility by the governments that are to blame.
... But whatever the reason - what a terrible thing it is that our anti-consumerism and anti-population idealogues have contributed to Valerie's guilt at being alive and using resources at this stage of her life. At 82yrs you should be able to feel peace. You've no doubt worked all your life and contributed in many ways to your community and society in general.

Enjoy, I say and forget the guilt.