Joel, since we first came out of the trees and noted the annual passage of the sun and moon, we have marked days - start with Stonehenge, built to mark mid-summer. The solstices. The first day of spring. The day the birds return. And as we evolved into more and more complex communities, we added days of celebration and remembrance, of festivity and solemnity. It's called being human.

The moon returns every month and such is our connection to our following orb that we seem to need to have at least one celebration or special day per month. Look at the calender Christmas. Australia Day. Easter. Anzac Day. Mothers Day. Mid-winter (Ozmas). Independence Day. Fathers Day. Grand Final day. Melbourne Cup. Etc ad nauseum. Whoops - no day for February. A quick look at the possibilities - what about Valentine? As you say, another chance to market nonsense. At least the "Saint" bit has been dropped.

I agree it's crass and commercialised and carbon negative, but trying to stop humans celebrating anything will take more than a universal regard for sense and taste. We can fight the forces of commercialism by either completely ignoring them - no doubt you remember home made Christmas cards, Mothers' Dat flowers picked in gardens, Easter eggs coloured at home and given to family in lieu of chocolates. Or we can celebrate every day, spontaneously, whatever we feel like. Which of course is how it all started.

As human beings I think we should always being striving for integrity. Our actions should be consistent with our thoughts and feelings. It creates stress when they are not.

Feelings of affection that spring to life in response to the turnover of the calendar must, by the very nature of affection, be suspect. We feel affection for someone because they demonstrate values or behaviour that we find attractive. It is a natural reaction to what someone else does that may or may not result in some display of that affection. Displays of affection which are not such responses are at best contrived and at worst quite dishonest.

The fact that so many people show public and private displays of affection on the very same day of every year must raise some suspicions about the integrity of their actions. It is a hard to believe that they are all responding to a coordinated display of attractive values and behaviour of their partners. Life just does not work out that neatly. Affection is also not something that can be stored and poured out in a torrent on 14 February. It is a feeling that comes and goes like any other feeling. It should be responded to when it is felt and people who display affectionate behaviour when they do not feel it are obviously trying to meet some other type of need.

Often Valentine's Day is more about trying to display the fact that one is in a 'loving' relationship because in the mind of many people the lack of such a relationship is some kind of stigma. It can also be an attempt to try and rekindle sentiments that were felt in the early stages of a relationship. Romantic feelings are not a response to another person but to an unmet need that we project on to that person and the attempt to artificially re-create them is just sentimentality. It is trying to get back to feelings which are akin to being on drugs. None of those things have anything in common with love.

I think that it's nice to maintain any celebrations or days that encourage us as a whole to prioritize the giving part of relationships with others.

However, I have never been big on obligatory gifts - either giving or receiving. I would much rather others NOT see my birthday; Valentine's day or any other day as a chore. I'd rather a hug given in real affection any day of the year than a gift given because people thought they'd better comply or else.

I'm afraid I am the same sort of giver as well. Absent minded about obligatory days, but sincere and generous anyway. I give often and am often overwhelmed with signs of affection, including gifts, given to me. Love it to just be out of the blue. I love the look on peoples' faces when I give them something that I picked up, wrapped and all that, simply because they were in my thoughts.