My sister and her boyfriend returned locally recently, after being away for one year interstate.

He works in hospitality, and with a cooking show on television, he started talking about Indian people and how their cooking skills are poor, kitchens not kept clean and how Indians are very demanding people, plus a lot of other things I thought were disgusting, about Indian people.

I had other family members, simply taking his comments like they were the bible. My mum even lectured me about not paying him enough attention.

I go to an Indian restaurant myself, and it is perfectly fine. The people there are very nice. I was disgusted by his comments and wanted to say something about the issue, but he is on a working visa from France. My parents have been annoyed he hasn't been allowed full citizenship into Australia - and I don't want to cause any family disruption - but I've felt like I need to say something about his comments and attitude.

Dear Nathan,

You do realise that it is all about your sister's boyfriend own low self-esteem!

He feels the need to prove, essentially to himself, that he is not the worst.

I don't know whether you can help him, but you can help yourself by walking out whenever the subject comes up, in fact whenever the conversation turns about denigrating people. In time, your family may learn that they don't get points for talking badly about others.

And by the way, if you like the food in Indian restaurants, you have still tasted nothing compared with the food that Indian people prepare at home.

Well said Yuyutsu.

Nathan, I too argue with some family members re the ignorant mistake of lumping all people from one religion/ race/ country/ colour into one basket and saying they all think/ act the same.
I speak up and just call them what they are...racist! Eventually they are shamed into silence.

It is one thing to have an opinion about something, but quite another to denigrate whole groups of other people without even knowing one of them.
Racists are just sad people who need to put down others to feel better about themselves.

//I was disgusted by his comments and wanted to say something about the issue, but he is on a working visa from France.//

Well, there's your answer right there: fight fire with fire.

Frenchmen are lazy, rude, arrogant, alcoholic, cowardly, foul-smelling, gluttonous perverts*. I'm sure you can think up some other insults for yourself. Whenever Kermit the Racist Frog starts banging on about Indians, you can throw a spanner in his diatribe by pointing out how much worse the French are before launching into your own little racist diatribe against the accordion-loving-surrender-monkeys.

This should at least shut him up about Indians, as he leaps to the defence of his own nationality and then probably starts having a go at Aussies in retaliation. Eventually, he may come to comprehend that it isn't very nice being on the receiving end of racism and that he should treat others the way he would like to be treated.

Or just poke him in his stupid froggy eye.

* I don't really believe this and you don't have to either; just pretend you do.

Well, I have no opinion either way, but to call him racist, a favourite
put down designed to shut people up these days, does not take into
account that he might be right.

After all he works in commercial kitchens so perhaps he has more
experience that yourself.
Argue on facts not prejudice.

And of course Bazz he is right.

Any culture that wipes it's butt with a finger, then wipes that finger "clean" on the wall of a public toilet, where millions have wiped before, could not be described as anything but filthy.

Deli belly is not some blight bequeathed by the gods, but a result of Indian sanitary habits.

The cap fits, so where's the racism.

I worked with many Indians during seven years cooking in commercial kitchens, I didn't find them demanding or observe any negligence regarding hygene, if anything they were overly fussy about it. However....
They are lazy, they work to rule all of the time, they're the first out the door at the end of the service and they become sullen when asked to pitch in and help with something which isn't really their job.
Example, I was working in the patisserie section with the Indian pastry chef for a couple of months, one day both dishwashers didn't turn up so the head chef put us on dishes until the dessert orders started to come in. Jagdish, the pastry chef wouldn't speak to anyone for the rest of the service and called in sick for a week, a few weeks later he cut his finger and took two weeks off, he got the sack and I got his job.

Speaking of racists....

Bazz and Hasbeen would fit in well with those relatives you speak of NathonJ.

Jay of Melbourne, surely you have met lazy people of all walks of life in your job?
Would that pastry chef be lazy because he is Indian, or just because he has a poor work ethic like many others?

If another Caucasian chef was deemed useless, slow or lazy in the kitchen, would everyone then say "Ah well now, that Caucasian guy is just like the rest of them".?
If not, why not?

Suzie, you really do have a nasty streak.

Ah! Hasbeen sahib,

You should be mixing with the Catholic and other Christians of the sub-Continent.
They are the Indian peoples who are using the toilet paper, or the corn husks depending upon their social standing monetary wise.
In the India of the south there are being the clean toilets and the Konkan Railway is of note for the high cleanliness of the public facilities at the stations of which it is the provider.

Deli bellie is indeed a scourge, but can be avoided by the very Christian and other upper class peoples habit of boiling the drink water always, and never eating the citrus fruits or water melons except from the vendor of excellent character who is guaranteeing that the fruits of his retailing are not pumpted to freshness by the injection of water under pressure.

For much more on the toilets of India see http://www.sulabhtoiletmuseum.org/

The Sulabh organization are providing the clean toilets and the showering to wash facilities in many parts of India and they are of a standard international.

It should be added that food cooked by the roadside stall holder is hygenic always and one may watch the cooking thereof.

Restaurants are another matter and sadly India does not possess the excellent organizations of Government that are available in the Cities of Australia for the catching of the unhygenic.

"The operators of one of Melbourne's best-known Chinese restaurants, the Red Emperor in Southbank, have pleaded guilty to multiple charges after it was found last year infested with cockroaches, mouse droppings and fruit flies.
The state of the fine dining venue with a 20-year reputation for hosting international guests and conferences was so bad that owner Lihua Gao voluntarily shut its doors the day before City of Melbourne health inspectors ordered it closed because it posed an immediate risk to the public"

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/cockroachinfested-red-emperor-pleads-guilty-to-food-violations-fines-total-15000-20150129-13165c.html#ixzz3uIJZ1AO

Thanks for that info Is Mise, but I doubt Hasbeen and Bazz would let the truth get in the way of a good racist rant.
Ignorance is obviously bliss for them.

NathanJ,

Maybe refer to the health reports (Qld example),

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/rats-roaches-found-in-brisbanes-filthiest-restaurants-20150420-1mpaoi.html

From your opening post, the presenting problem has little to do with cooking or 'racism' and more to do with difficulties in relating to others. That does not refer to you exclusively. However you can only work on you and that is your responsibility. For starters, disagreement is OK isn't it?

Engaging with your loved ones, having conversations with them and building relationships is what you should be talking about and reflecting on.

I had a "raciest" experience recently myself. We were in Fiji with its 50/50 Indian/Fijian population. One afternoon we were catching the 'Suva Express', the public bus which starts in Lautoka and runs all the way to Suva we were going from Nadi to Sigatoka, about an hours trip costs $5 Fijian, Europeans don't normally catch the local buses all that much, we have caught that bus many times.
At the Nandi terminal I went up to the ticket kiosk to buy 2 tickets, it was very busy that afternoon, several local people in front of me bought tickets, but when it came to me the Indian ticket seller said "buy your tickets on the bus" I didn't think much of it, then he sold tickets to the locals after me. A big Fijian near by marched over and said "Sell this man his tickets you bloody raciest, he was in front!" Got my tickets.
Why? The Fijian told me, this bus when it arrives in Nandi is going to be near packed, only those with tickets are going to have any chance of getting on, some with tickets, and all those without have no chance and will have to wait over an hour for the next bus. Then he took us to the front of the line, said bus I will stop here, we be first on. he was right. he was a local copper off duty, on his way to Suva. I said "whats the go?" you your lady, maybe over 60, yes, he gotta show respect!" "Not caz you white, caz your older,"

Many people have asked me about the big Indian population in Fiji and what do I think of them, well they are different people to the locals, but in general I like them as much as the indigenous Fijians, I never have found a great deal of animosity between the two. Two of our best Fijian friends are Indians, great warm heart'd people, doing a ship load of work for local indigenous and Indian kids.

cont

cont
Funny, an Aussie couple we met on our way back, got sick from a pizza they ate at their 5 star resort. We ate in some, well, places many Australians would turn their noses up at, and we have never been sick once.
Although an Indian did invite us once to his brothers "restaurant" up the back streets. His brother was standing there in, I must say a very clean white shirt. My partner "T" standing beside me was saying as she looked around "paru, paru" brother asked what she say? I replied "Ah..., she is saying in Maori, ah..., very nice, very nice." His wife did cook us a lovely fish, didn't get sick. paru = dirty.

I think that we are all to one extent or another in the same boat all across the world in that largely what goes in is what comes out.

One of my Grannies was a nurse in the times of splintered bones and rent flesh. She'd roll in to the kitchen when I was a nipper and fire up straight out with cries of "Cover that food! Cover that food!"

I could go on, but point being was that not everyone was brought up learning the same lessons and consequently, we have different values and there is a great range of variance in that difference.

And of course, some times these values stand diametrically opposed to another, do they not?

Thereafter however, I don't think that it necessarily follows that it always wrong to point out that there is difference except, if in pointing out the difference one also seeks to belittle, demean or the like. That would then add weight to the argument that such behaviour could be considered as "racist."

Worse still, it is when one person or group of people in pointing out difference take it also upon themselves to judge themselves superior, and in so doing also consider that it is right for the superior to "predate" in some form upon the "inferior."

..

Now, about water dunnies you grotty and daggy smeary bums.

Following hanging ones draws high in the wet area, assuming the position and deed being done, water splashes from a long handle, mini bucket can deal with any chunky residue, and then, a gentle antiseptic bubble hand of soup will (when repeated after rinsing) make you clean, clean, ever so clean.

Relatively speaking, as filthy as some Indians maybe considered by some compared to us, we are still quite "filthy mongrels" to the Japanese I assure you.

And of course, in free water countries not only does a water dunny leave you cleaner, but it is whole lot cheaper compared to all those gold coins going down along with my fancy Air Weave bog roll for sensitive bot-bots.

;-)

Dream On,

"a gentle antiseptic bubble hand of soup will (when repeated after rinsing) make you clean, clean, ever so clean."

I do so hope that that was a typo!!

*Is Mise*

Might be an idea to make sure you take your nail clippers along next time you travel overseas. Then, just in case you miss with the water splash, ... "

DreamOn, "we are still quite "filthy mongrels" to the Japanese I assure you"

Check this page,

http://whatjapanthinks.com/2014/01/31/just-two-in-five-japanese-always-wash-hands-with-soap-after-public-toilet-poo/

Check the answers to Q7: "How and how often do you wash your hands after using the toilet in the following situations?"

Although in Oz many toilet users appear to have an aversion to soap as well. For example, it was always a fight to get soap dispensers for State school pupils. So there is no surprise that they 'forget' as adults.

*OntheBeach*

I am not certain that a survey of only 1045 people amounts to a statistically significant survey however ..

but of course, the Japanese practice of what could be described as cleanliness does go far beyond the water closet e.g. your outdoor shoes come off before you step up into the house proper and a separate set of shoes, the w/c has another separate set of shoes, one washes off outside the bathtub till sud free before entering the bath tub (saves a lot of water too when the whole family uses the same bath tub (though separate wash water) and on it goes.

I agree that the relationship factor is an issue here - but its difficult to comment, when I know I will be "cut to bits" in the kitchen, if I say anything about this issue. Day one was bad enough.

My sister and her boyfriend, are staying until the end of Summer. I'm not looking forward to that.

With my sister's boyfriend coming from France, there are plenty of generalisations I could make (spoken in French for example), but I see this as rude and (in my view) does not respect the populace of France.

I still don't understand why I had to listen to a reference to Indian people. Australia isn't perfect either.

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/kfc-kitchen-filth-controversy-as-customers-facebook-photo-at-fast-food-chains-elizabeth-store-goes-viral/story-fni6uo1m-1226612458326

Dear NathanJ,

Human relationships are all too often shaped by the
differences rather than similarities between
groups.

Throughout history, relationships among racial and
ethnic groups have been marked by antagonism, inequality, and
violence. Over the course of the twentieth century alone, millions
of people have been slaughtered, and many millions more,
subjected to humiliation, cruelty, and injustice, for no
apparent reason other than their membership in some despised
group. In the USA, a country formally committed to human equality,
the physical and cultural differences among various groups
still has a strong influence on their members' social status.

I don't know the reasons behind the comments that have
so obviously upset you.

However, you can't be responsible
for what other people believe, how they behave, or what they
think. You can only be held accountable for your own actions,
beliefs, and behaviour.

Today, racial ideology is considered so disreputable that
few people or governments, whatever their private attitudes,
dare to openly endorse a racist attitude.

Yet racism, often subtle in form, is still commonplace. It is
found in societies all over the world

The racist card is being overworked as per usual. The extreme political correctness that is systemic in Oz is at work, always, 24/365.

Previously I gave a link to the very conservative findings of State Health inspectors. These reports are made only for serious, persistent offenders. The example was from Qld and other States and Territories provide similar. Here again,

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/rats-roaches-found-in-brisbanes-filthiest-restaurants-20150420-1mpaoi.html

As a student I always had several jobs on the go at once. I did my time as a waiter and delivering frozen meats to cafes and restaurants, as examples. There is no surprise that workers in the food and tourism industries are encountering the same health deficiencies that I saw years ago.

Hygiene is relative. Behaviour generalises, people DO bring their cultural traditions to the table and in their preparations for the table. Unfortunately, their standards (such as they are!) do lapse even further where they are providing services to others.

Another thing, if second and later generations supposedly become more attuned to Australian expectations, how come the cruel medieval ritual killing of stock is so resilient and growing? Unfortunately we only have to glance the other way for a moment (and politicians in marginal seats are good at turning a blind eye to win a small margin of votes) and some SOB is trying to buy goats and sheep from a farmer to stuff into his car boot to slaughter later with a knife, no .22 to the brain first and all in the name of some BS religion.

Political correctness is very strong in Australia. The taxpayer funds ethnic lobbyists, who always have a direct line to the minister. The very last thing that government inspectors and their managers want to be accused of is 'discrimination'(sic) against ethnics. The bottom-feeding tabloids and the commentariat on The Box feast off that stuff.

If anything, that ethnic cafe is going to be given every inch of rope possible by public bureaucrats/diplomats and then some.

From my years as a casual worker there are some I avoid and they are not always budget places either.

Throughout history, relationships among racial and
ethnic groups have been marked by antagonism, inequality, and
violence, uniting all of these have been IGNORANCE and Political Opportunistic Expedience.

Despite advances in Australia, our Commonwealth still supports, promotes and conducts segregation, yes separation of Australian families from each other and their communities, along with ongong qualification of our shared rights and responsibilities as Australians.

All these Commonwealth claims allowable using racial identification of Australians as their tool.

Commonwealth trying stage a referenda to demonstrate support for their claim of such authority to continue their racist policies.

Pity Commonwealth NOT prepared to put same effort into removing racism, removing ignorance, with more basic support for education, housing and health standards, and reasonably paid employment, all these far more successful at removing barriers and improving living standards.

Education fails when governments ignore NON-attendance.

.

Hi NathanJ,
I don't know your age so I'm not sure how appropriate my comment is, but would like to say that if you cant speak your mind in front of your parents, then why bash on here to us about it?

If you believe in something you should feel that its ok to speak your mind, especially around other family members.

Your parents might be a bit difficult if they are overbearing and think that your thoughts and ideals are a reflection of them, and you may also say something stupid and make a fool of yourself - though that's the chance you take, but if you are an adult you should at least be allowed to think and speak for yourself.

Armchair Critic,

The reason a site like this one, is so popular, is that people can express an opinion, without having to put their face out in public. We don't have to go back to the activities of the past like 'speakers corners'.

Essentially a 'cop out' approach. This applies to myself and others on this site.

If someone wants to put forward very nice, extremely rude or racist, strong religious or friendly comment or argument, a person can on this site - and even their own name isn't necessarily on the screen - if they choose not to.

People can also (as an opposite view) put an opinion forward on this site, without having it seriously 'hijacked' by others.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speakers%27_Corner

Yes my parents can be a bit difficult when they are overbearing (if I question something).

_____________________________________________________________________

Foxy,

I don't think people should just 'give up' on trying to get rid of racism, so I hope people, will try and change their minds.

Deep down I have been annoyed with some of his (what I consider) "rude" attitudes. I had to hear him "hating" private schools for example (and had to virtually simply keep my mouth shut).

He is entitled to have his own views, but if he is not going to try and be a bit friendlier towards others in Australia, I don't know how we will get on (as I went to a public and a private school).

On some occasions, I have to hear one of my parents disliking people from Middle Eastern countries (and I don't like that either) being open minded.

We don't ban the sale of alcohol in Australia, because of a few people who may drink and drive and then kill innocent people driving home. Such a move (to ban alcohol sales) would not be tolerated.

Many countries have problems with others (let alone in Australia) with too many Australian citizens with a 'closed minded' attitude. At the present moment I'm not 100% happy being put in a difficult situation similar to that - and I've never felt like this before.

A starting point is to ask who-ever makes (perhaps offensive) comments IF they can explain what "racism" or "racist" means...

Well, I don't consider myself to be racist but members of some of the dark skinned African groups should never normally be allowed to marry 'white' Australians.
Such miscegenation would not be in the best interests of either party.

Well, I don't consider myself to be racist but members of some of the white skinned European groups should never normally be allowed to marry 'black' Australians.
Such miscegenation would not be in the best interests of either party.

Miscegenation laws were also enforced in Nazi Germany as part of the Nuremberg laws, and in South Africa as part of the system of Apartheid. In the United States, interracial marriage, cohabitation and sex have been termed "miscegenation" since the term was coined in 1863.

//members of some of the dark skinned African groups should never normally be allowed to marry 'white' Australians.//

Why not?

Toni, you ask Why not? Like Is Mise I don't consider myself to be racist, and I have made that perfectly clear, to answer your question, there is no particular reason why us white people who don't consider ourselves raciest don't want black people marrying us white people, it has nothing to do with them being black, and us being white, I want to stress since we do not consider ourselves racists it has nothing what so ever to do with the fact they are black and we are white. We have countless reasons why not, Is Mise will be along with those reasons shortly, and then it will be all black and white to you. Joke for the day.

Seriously, it must be a joke, you get this "I don't consider myself to be racist... BUT. then they go on to contradict themselves by making some racists statement.

What I had in mind was marriage/whatever between an African pygmy woman, say 3ft 6ins tall, and a European male at 6ft 6ins.
Sexual relations could be rather difficult and a pregnancy very likely to lead to extreme trouble and/or death.
So, all in all, probably not a good idea, but I see few objections to a Pygmy man and a European woman.

The worm wriggles! I was only talking about Pygmy women and European basketballers, when I said <<some of the dark skinned African groups should never normally be allowed to marry 'white' Australians.>>

Note the denial in the statement is directed towards the "dark skinned" African groups, and not the "white" Australians. The undertone being, it is the dark skinned people who seek to infiltrate the gene pool of the white people.
This is a flimsy attempt to justify what was a totally unacceptable raciest statement.
Do you have any stats on Pygmy women marrying European men who suffer from some form of Gigantism, I suspect it is less than 0.00000000001% of all marriages. I note that by omission you have no objection to Wee Willie Winkie marrying the Circus Fat Lady, they being both white, or any such odd ball combination providing they are not black and white.
p/s People should also be prevented from trying to mate female Chiwawas with Irish Wolfhounds, regardless of their colour.

Is Mise, I see we are kicking off 2016 as we left 2015, in total agreeing once again. All the best to you and your's in 2016.

Paul,

You didn't comment on the Pygmy man marrying the big European woman, to which I had no real objection, but the reverse is not appropriate, bearing in mind Robbie Burns' "....twa nine inch men cam doon th' glen...." (I must look that poem up!).

When one mates a draught horse with a Shetland pony it's always the draught mare to the little stallion.
In stables a platform/back of a truck is provided for the little bloke and out in the field, if a truck or a natural feature can't be found then a pit must be dug for the mare to stand in; these things are never simple!!

Anyway, thanks for taking the bait and for your kind wishes for 2016, which I appreciate and reciprocate.

Thankfully "Pollutionfest" is over and we can look forward to a hopefully 'fireworks' free rest of the year.

May we all have a "good" New Year - full of
hope not fear, anger, or despair.

According to a recent study done by Roy Baumeister
what sets human beings apart from animals is not
the pursuit of happiness, which occurs all
across the natural world, but the pursuit of
meaning, which is unique to humans. We're told that
happiness is the by product of a meaningful life.

With that thought in mind - we can acknowledge that
all of us have our prejudices - against the rich,
or the poor, the smart or the slow, the gaunt or
the obese, the progressive or the conservative,
and so on.

It is natural to develop prejudices.

It is noble to rise above them.

Let us keep hope alive - make a fresh start for 2016.

A worthy aim for the New Year would be to rescue freedom of speech from the repugnant political correctness that has descended in recent years. Although there are so many young adults who do not have the benefit of experiencing life in Australia before.

This great man saw it as it was emerging in the US and his speech 'Winning the Cultural War' to a graduating year of Harvard lawyers is linked to below. Well worth the few minutes,

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/charltonhestonculturalwar.htm

//What I had in mind was marriage/whatever between an African pygmy woman, say 3ft 6ins tall, and a European male at 6ft 6ins.//

Surely she could still shag a white dwarf (as in a small white man, not an stellar remnant composed of electron-degenerate matter)?

Hi Foxy, all the best to you and your family for 2016. A bad start to 2016, went around this morning to catch up with a friend in Redfern for the New Year, only to hear Rick had his motorised wheelchair stolen from outside his place on Xmas Day, by whom he don't know, reported it to Redfern coppers. Now Rick is paying $50 week out of his pension to rent a replacement, a new one is worth up to $3,500, second hand cheaper, but the batteries can be the problem with second hand. The mate has done a heap of work for the UN Water Resources in places like Vietnam, despite his disability, he can walk with great difficulty, and to have this happen is a shocker. At first, hoped it was kids, having a"joy ride" and it may have turned up, but the coppers think it could have been an organised gang, who would have a ready sale for it. As Rick said "Shhhhit Happens".

2016, a new year and a new career for Is Mise on the front counter of the new State Bureau of Marrege issuing marriage approvals.

Is Mise; Name!
B Groom; Micky the Midget from Mudgee.
IM; SIZE!
BG; 6 inches
IM; NO NO, your height?
BG; three foot six.
IM; Woman, NAME!
Bride; Big Mumma from Alabama, your kingship!
IM; Height?
Bride; six foot twelve, in flatties,
Is Mise "I now pronounce you man and wife, go forth and multiply."

Next: Its Lofty Les from Lennox Heads, and his mail order bride Pygmy Peg from Patagonia.

Is Mise; "NO CHANCE!"

Nice try, Paul, but as they say: don't give up your day job (not yet anyhow)!

Is Mise, I thought that one was rather good, your turn, I like Lofty Les from Lennox Heads, he sounds dinky di to me, would you really stop him marrying Pygmy Peg from Patagonia. As they say "True love never runs smooth." Well not with the State Bureau of Marriage doing the match making.