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The Forum > Article Comments > Love, s*x, pride and morality > Comments

Love, s*x, pride and morality : Comments

By Barbara Biggs, published 25/5/2009

In an upside to the rugby s*x scandal the community has been forced to think about morality.

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I agree with the author that early sex education is the go. Respect can be taught.
I disagree about pornography. What people watch in their own homes is their own business. While I agree that there probably is a link between sexual violence and porn, driving porn underground ain't the way to go.

I hesistate to call the women at the centre of the rugby scandal a victim. She engaged in group sex and then regretted it. The time to change your mind is before the act.

The writer is right that's it's a moral decision but she has compounded one mistake with another - and that is expecting 'closure' by going public.
Posted by Cheryl, Monday, 25 May 2009 11:30:58 AM
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Thank you Barbara for an honest account of what took place in your life. I am sure your story thanks to the porn industry and those who fail to teach morals around sex education is all to common.

You write
'To prevent a future generation of muddied souls, we must teach school children before pornography gets to them first. A good place to start is to teach them how to respect themselves and each other.'

Unfortunately I think it is to late. The deviants and champions of secular humanism has won out in our society. Just switch to the perverted SBS most nights and you will see the case in point.
Posted by runner, Monday, 25 May 2009 12:15:15 PM
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Barbara: "Those rugby players learnt somewhere to fantasise about degrading group sex."

Most young males don't think of group sex as degrading, and there are some women who don't think of it as degrading it either. You do apparently. Pity you had to learn your preference the hard way.

Barbara: "We need to ban pornography which portrays anyone in degrading roles."

You believe that males learn their social graces from porn? I have some news - porn or no porn, males of most species will seek out women for sex, casual, group or whatever they can get. You seem to want to educate them into not doing that. You may as well try to persuade fish not to piss in the sea.

Barbara: "Tribunals, where the proof is less rigid, could order treatment, or re-education of offenders."

You wanted to prevent the degrading cross examination of the victim. But in doing so you remove the accused's ability to question his accuser. It is a pretty fundamental right you are sacrificing.

You know that just as there are men who are willing to take advantage of women, there are women who willing to use to courts and law to take advantage of men? In lowering the standards of truth and honesty in our courts you will get more men prosecuted, but a greater proportion will be victims of female charlatans.

Barbara: "We should take Finlandís lead and teach sex relationship education in the last years of primary school."

Agreed. You seem to lay some of the blame on males for your experiences. But they were just taking advantage of the chance you offered them. No amount education, no restriction on porn will stop men from doing that. You are the one who naively gave them the opportunity. I can't imagine what social environment lead you to think that was a reasonable think do to. But yes, we get lots information at school on the mechanics of sex, but very little on sexual and relationship expectations of males and females. With a better balance you may have taken a different path.
Posted by rstuart, Monday, 25 May 2009 12:42:09 PM
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runner: I really must point out that secular humanists should not be victimised by zealots such as yourself. Particularly when yet another priest child abuse case comes to light. If anything it is organised religion that should be under the microscope.
Time and time again religious power is associated with child abuse, lying and general corruption. Probably best to say that social power given to priests, or footballers is too much when they think they can get away it. At least the footballers dealt with an adult, and it was consensual so far as it goes (drunk people are not known for good decision making.) Why the uproar on footy thugs when priests seem to make a habit of it and no one seems to care? Why the attack on secularism when religion seems to be a paedophiles haven?
Women have a choice who they go home with. Kids are poweless, yet we grieve for the poor stupid drunk women and say "oh well" to the corrupt paedophile organisation known as the Catholic Church!
What you see on SBS is not usually porn to the normal balanced mind. Those of us who were brought up seeing sex and nakedness as normal and quite distinct from porn or love have no fear of corruption from liberal media. The "dirtiness" is in *your* mind, not ours!
I agree that early and frank sex education is what is right for kids. The evolutionary explanations may not be complete (yet), but they are a darn sight better than nothing when it comes to understanding human behaviour. Best to get kids thinking like an adult ASAP because the simple lies are getting them into too much trouble.
Try telling that to the churchy types though...
Posted by Ozandy, Monday, 25 May 2009 2:07:06 PM
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I really do get sick of these B grade book promotions, masquerading as considered articles.
Posted by Hasbeen, Monday, 25 May 2009 2:43:08 PM
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Ozandy you ask

'Why the attack on secularism when religion seems to be a paedophiles haven?'

Then again artists, teachers, sports coaches, environmentalist. police, judges and politicians have their fair share of paedophiles. I seem to recall a few ex national broadcasters being charged for child sex offences. Considering the secularist have no moral base to call anything wrong it is no wonder they can photograph 12 year old girls nude in sexual poses and call it art. Yes the Catholic church has had many homosexual priests behaving like animals in contradiction to Christ's teachings however I doubt the percentage is any higher than in other areas of the community.
Posted by runner, Monday, 25 May 2009 2:59:33 PM
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