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The Forum > Article Comments > The fatherhood revolution > Comments

The fatherhood revolution : Comments

By Warwick Marsh, published 12/9/2008

A fatherhood revolution will mean many more involved, committed and responsible fathers.

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I think Warick Marsh has done a very good job in helping to remind governments that fathers do actually exist. There may even be a policy for men and fathers some time in the future.

The demonisation of fathers is becoming less popular, when once it was routine in feminist circles and in the media.

In most cases, the “best interests of the child” is to have a father as well as a mother.
Posted by HRS, Friday, 12 September 2008 9:25:30 AM
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I can't speak from the view of a father but I can speak from the view of a child who did not have a father. Growing up in household where there was only one provider who was required to work longer hours just to make the money to survive is incredibly hard on a child.

In those formative years where a child grows in the nurturing environment of both their parents is mostly missing also later in life when a son would often learn about 'life' from his father is also not there. Seeing other children playing with their fathers down the beach or the park and knowing that your single parent is often to exhausted from work to do the same often feels like a knife. And of course when my time comes I will have no example from which to proceed.

The experience of having a father is one of the most important things in life for a child, there are some things that a mother just can't do. In an ideal world a child would have both a father and a mother, both sides of the coin to complete their life, having only one or the other just doesn't do it.

I would even go so far as to say that there needs to be more men willing to take on a farther type role in the lives of children. Not as a step father but as a strong male presence in their life, the friend next door or the nice guy down the street. For me, there were only a few times when someone took an interest in me, one was going down the beach fishing and the other was taking me along with his kids 4x4 driving. They are some of the few happier memories from my childhood, but most of the time people were too scared of getting involved or being labelled a pervert. Shame on those who would use that label in this case.

Children need their fathers, just as much as they need their mothers, no more than ever.
Posted by Arthur N, Friday, 12 September 2008 10:15:57 AM
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Apologies, last line should read:

Children need their fathers, just as much as they need their mothers, now more than ever.
Posted by Arthur N, Friday, 12 September 2008 10:26:42 AM
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"The demonisation of fathers is becoming less popular, when once it was routine in feminist circles and in the media" HRS can't you give it a miss just for once?

Certainly some men have been excluded from their children's lives by the actions of women in bitter breakups. They are a very small minority. The majority of Dad's are not being demonised in the slightest, and don't feel that they are being. They are juggling along with their spouses, partners and mothers of their children, though no longer in a relationship with those partners the hard slog of raising kids and doing damned well at it mostly. Mostly both parents are fair, recognise that children deserve both parents, and get over their personal feelings to each other.

Mostly... there are a few out there who feel demonised apparently.. HRS....?...

Maybe it's a sign of my comfortable middle class existence that I am surrounded by males who feature equally in their children's raising with the children's mothers. My own husband cut our kid's umbilical cords and they have been the centre of his existence ever since - which is over twenty years. So while I applaud anything to involve Dad's more, I don't know what my friends and spouse have been doing for twenty years - maybe just being the vanguard I guess. But more power to anything that helps more reticent males get involved.
Posted by JL Deland, Friday, 12 September 2008 12:45:55 PM
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JL Deland
I don't think you have the slightest concept of the type of things that have been done to exclude fathers from their children's lives.
Posted by HRS, Friday, 12 September 2008 1:37:24 PM
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Poor HRS. I'm sure you feel the dirty has been done to you. But like I said while the vast majority of people around me are recognising a childs right to have two decent (not all people are decent) parents around them and sorting their differences. I get to see other cases as well but I don't want to go into the bad men/bad women thing. It goes nowhere in circles.

I will say I know a number of families where either the father or mother has completely uprooted themselves from their families and left them with no financial or emotional support. I also have had a friend threatening to commit suicide after her children's father went absent for months and couldn't even be bothered to ring for the kids at Christmas. She thought he might be dead. Or the bloke who walked out on his month old baby and has never wanted to contact her despite living in the same city - he just went out and grew himself another family and completely rejected his lovely first child.

This has nothing to do with feminism or demonisation of fathers. The is just a minority of drop dead parents of both sexes. However I think probably arguing the point with you will go no where. I'm sure you are quite sure that it was a feminist that stole the baby up outside Alice Springs.
Posted by JL Deland, Friday, 12 September 2008 4:46:50 PM
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