When I think about this it seems that there are two groups of predators stalking each other. We have footy players who have money and fame. Money and fame can be quite useful tools in the search for casual sexual flings and also quite useful in attracting a trophey wife.

We have women who would like some of that money and fame, who would like the opportunity to have their picture on the news in a designer gown, who would like the big house and the BMW. They would like to rub shoulders with the famous. Snaring a footy player might be their set for life ticket.

Two groups preying on each other. I'm happy to agree that the values of men who use women like this a abhorent to me. There is no respect in treating women as a commodity. Sex without a reasonable basis to be confident that consent is given is rape. Trying to trap men into being a set for life ticket shows a similar lack of respect. Using your body as bait to catch a man shows a remarkable lack of self respect.

I think that members of both groups have a fair idea of the game that they are playing.

It may be of value to the footy codes to try and instill some better values into footy players.

As a community we just maybe we could have a look at some of the cultural values that make footy players seem a lot better catch than those in less recognised, less well paid positions and the values that cause a certain look in a woman to appear of higher value.

Is it just conincidence that all the cricket wives shown on TV at the recent awards ceremony looked quite similar.

R0bert

"This culture has been written about widely. College women -- as well as men -- reportedly drink heavily before and during parties. For the women, that drinking is often goal-oriented, suggests Karin Agness, a recent University of Virginia graduate and founder of NeW, a club for conservative university women: It frees the drinker from responsibility and "provides an excuse for engaging in behavior that she ordinarily wouldn't." Nights can include a meaningless sexual encounter with a guy whom the girl may not even know."

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-op-mac_donald24feb24,0,1096037,full.story

I am soooooooo glad I am not 18 anymore.

"Rape is a very serious crime that carries a deservedly heavy sentence, and so it’s important that guilt is proven ‘beyond all reasonable doubt’. Rape should be distinguished from everyday, messy sex - sex that is regretted; sex that you didn’t really want but went along with; sex that you were too drunk to remember.

In cases of rape - forced sex - there should be no confusion among the parties about the fact that a crime has been committed. The government’s sex education programme can only sow seeds of confusion."
http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/article/243/

I would suspect that perhaps the fairest thing to do would be to somehow try to educate people (men and women) about how to get their needs meet safely, basically it comes down to two things, men want sex and women might if she chooses give it to them.

Otherwise we should just keep males and females separated, especially if they are single, just like they do in some muslim countries or maybe provide a chaperone at all parties where there is alcohol.

Big-time footie players usually start as young boy footie players. Its here, I think, that the matter should start to be addressed.

Naturally I can't speak for the whole of Australia but those footie clubs I do know about all work on the same principle: make a man outta them. Admirable, if one's definition of a man encompasses fairness, compassion, truth...and all of those good things. But translated by many clubs it simply means "make a loutish brute outta them".

I know of one coach whose way of disciplining kids was to make them strip off and run round the field in their jocks. At the age of 12 when acne, too much or too little testosterone results in huge hormonal differences, being over or underweight can all cause feeling of shame and embarrassement, this worked well. It took two years to get this coach sacked and by then the kid who had brought this to my attention had tried to suicide.

Calling boys "ladies" when they aren't playing well, screaming at them when they are losing that they are playing "like a mob of girls", turning a blind eye to under-age drinking and mastubatory games in the change room, are all regarded as part of the "culture". By the time they hit the under 17/18 games the only thing they know about etiquette is to vomit up Saturday night's excess OUTSIDE the goal posts in a Sunday game!

The average club member, when asked about these practices, doesn't take them seriously: they are a rite of passage. "Ah, we all went through it. Didn't do us any harm" they grin. Except that they end up having to be shown DVDs on how to behave

Romany,

For once I have to agree with you. It is a great game with an atrocious culture. Having had boys involved in footy for years I am and was sickened by much of its culture. Parents on the sideline (women being among the worse) scream obscenities at players and umpire. Foul language is the norm and alcohol abuse begins with many of the players well under the legal age.

I might be lucky, because I don't drink and I've never been interested in VFL.

But if a man has been drinking, and has sex with a woman who has not been drinking, then will she be charged with rape?

Or, if a man has been drinking, and has sex with a woman who has not been drinking, then will he be charged with rape?

Or, if a man has not been drinking, and has sex with a woman who has not been drinking, then will he be charged with rape?

Or, if a man has not been drinking, and she has not been drinking, and he has not had sex with her, then will he still be charged with rape?

Its becoming very confusing.

bwahahahahahaha.

Damned if ya do and damned if ya dont.

Keep up the vascilating encouragement melinda. Its trooly inspirational as a male to get your sort of support.