I thought Melinda made eminent sense.

As to most of the posts, please come back to reality. Really, the AFL DVD is an insult to women. How can a culture even ask such questions unless it is a deeply corrupted one?

Taking advantage of a drunk woman is rape.

Most rapes are not reported. Of those that are most do not end in conviction because in some cases of the stress the ordeal puts on the woman.

While I'm no fan of the way footballers behave off the field, I think Melinda Tankard Reist has once again overdone it somewhat. She credits women with no agency in their collaboration in the admittedly sometimes tawdry behaviour she describes.

I have no doubt that many, if not most, footballers behave like utter pigs sometimes - adrenaline, testosterone, alcohol (etc) and adulation undoubtedly contribute. But I also have no doubt that there are plenty of women out there who are only too happy to participate in the gang bangs etc that have been part of footy culture until very recently.

At least the DVDs that Reist derides are an attempt to address the issue seriously. What does she propose - that we ban football and any other overtly masculine sports lest they express popular sexual relations (however tasteless or unfortunate they may be)?

I don’t agree that the AFL DVD is a rude wake up call on the state of male-female relationships in the 21st century.

From a pragmatic perspective the AFL has taken a proactive step in providing these testosterone filled young lads with scenario’s that are quite likely to occur and in turn facilitates an open a discussion. Any attempt at educating and stimulating discussion can only be a good thing.

Remember, these young lads are just that-young lads. Their bodies might be mature but their minds have not quite caught up yet. They will be exposed to many new experiences in the AFL and being surrounded by adoring females is simply one factor and temptation. Spelling out what is expected of them is essential, it's not an option.

The article goes on to state “Examples of increasing contempt for women are everywhere…... girls describe being called “boobs on a stick” by boys at school.”

My response to this? Where in the hell are the parents? I am the mom of 2 boys and I certainly hope I am teaching them to respect girls. If I ever received feedback that one of my boys showed an ounce of disrespect for a girl they would get a clip around the ear, they will need to apologize face to face with the aggrieved party and then be grounded until they are 30. (Considering kids don’t leave home anymore this could be quite feasible) No mucking around here.

Conversely, young women need to be taught exactly what sexual harassment is. They need to respect themselves enough to be very upfront with the lads on what is and isn’t acceptable. Again, the parents must be actively involved in getting the message home.

Unfortunately, the desire to appear ‘cool’ and to be accepted by peers is an inherent problem with most young people and they do not really fully understand what its all about, they have the L plates of life on. It is the pursuit of coolness and peer accecptance that lets their good sense down. There is hope though .…isn’t there?

I wonder why I have not read anything here about women, taking advantage of drunk young blokes.

I think many of these women know damn well, what they are doing, & get exactly what they want.

Perhaps we should have a video teaching young women that collecting footballers "scalps" is not very ladylike. Anyone who thinks that this is not happening, in more than a few of these caese, needs a reality check.

Great article Melinda!

Seeing our girlfriends, wives and daughters, harassed by footballers, and taken advantage of in such devious ways, is deeply concerning – just very confused about where to aim my disgust, and whom to educate.

Many years ago one of my girlfriends, we were teenagers, told me how herself and another couple of girls would go out to a pub and leave the hotel with a drunken older man who thought he had got lucky. When they got him outside they would roll him and take his money. I thought this was a terrible thing to do. They seemed to think that because he was drunk and an "old perve" it was ok and he deserved what he got. Seems to me like the same rationalization some men are using here, blaming the victim. Because someone is vulnerable, even if it is self-inflicted, does not condone predators assuming carte blanche.