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The Forum > Article Comments > Thereís sex and there's love - but not always together > Comments

Thereís sex and there's love - but not always together : Comments

By Barbara Biggs, published 13/11/2006

You can walk down the street wearing skimpy clothes but that doesnít mean itís a good idea.

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What amazes me in this supposedly post-feminist era, is that a lot of young women consider that the sexual freedom they suppose comes from certain behaviour and dress code is actually empowering them. It comes from wanting to be the same as men, but it will never happen. Women will always be labelled by both men and other women. Sadly, it is a fact of life.
Posted by Lainie, Monday, 13 November 2006 9:16:49 AM
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Barbera, you had me liking the balance of the the article until I came to "run by men letting their fantasies rip". Where did that come from?

You make a good point about kids looking up to their slightly older peers for an idea on what it means to be adult. Now follow the chain and a lot of the same messages seem to be spread across magazines aimed at females and from what I've seen most of the editors of those are female.

Your simple summation of who is driving this stuff appears to choose to ignore the roles of the many women involved in the publishing, advertising and entertainment industries.

I suspect that it's much more about wanting to appear to be "out there" and pushing boundaries by magazines trying to keep circulation numbers up than it's about men with fantasies of young girls.

It's so easy to blame men for everything but you have to ignore the efforts of a lot of women to do so in this case.

You raise some good points which are worthy of discussion but you need to think a bit more carefully about the mantra that it's all mens fault.

R0bert
Posted by R0bert, Monday, 13 November 2006 10:05:12 AM
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I am very sorry that you were a victim of rape and I'm also sorry that you couldn't have satisfying sex for a couple of decades, however, in the majority of cases, rape is NOT about how a person is dressed! It's about power. Victims are 'chosen' for many, many reasons such as opportunity and vulnerability; dress/clothing is often way, way down the list.

Yes, there are issues here worthy of discussion such as the influence of music videos with women in provocative dress but you are confusing the issue with why women are raped with how they are seen in society.

A civilised society is not democratic until ALL women are equal in law.
Posted by vanessal, Monday, 13 November 2006 10:17:28 AM
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I feel this article has tried to cover too many angles in the one topic.

Sexualising of children in advertising is a concern and something that should be addressed.

Presuming that women dress a certain way, because they are being hoodwinked into it, is another matter entirely and I don't feel that a blanket comment can be made. Up until a certain age, women may be considered fashion victims...but at what age is a woman permitted to be open about her sexuality, either in the way she dresses, talks, paints, writes...without someone presuming that a partriachal society has bludgeoned her into it. While men possess more testosterone, I feel that we possess similarly wired buttons in regard to exhibitionism, eroticism, fetishism etc, and it's a very individual thing. It cannot be pigeonholed into male/female, bare/demure...you cannot judge a book by it's cover (or lack thereof)

The way a person dresses, in this day and age, doesn't really have a bearing on their ideals and beliefs. In some ways, the naked form is less sexual than the artfully clad form - so degrees of undress are entirely subjective as a means of litmus-testing sexuality.

Dressing as 'sexually available' again is a label that presumes way too much. The issue is that people should get a grip - grow up - be less inclined to judge. Men are, and will always be responsible for their own actions. Your article focused on the education of how women see themselves...well how bout educating men on how to see women...and the best way to do that if for women to be themselves...and fight for their rights to do just that.

Society needs to grow up - and journalists need to see bigger pictures. Covering up WILL NOT PREVENT RAPE. Rapists are violent criminals...you have perpetuated the myth that bare flesh is the ultimate motivation. This does not explain why old women are raped, why babies are raped, young boys are raped. Rape is a crime of a sick mind...focus on the criminals...not the victims.
Posted by Rose C, Monday, 13 November 2006 10:25:53 AM
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Interesting debate,What came first the chicken or the egg.
A girl who dresses inappropriately may be looking to get the attention of one or a number of males.The problem for the young male is it him.
Some mothers do hav'em,may be more to the point.
Most mothers will protect their young by advising their daughters, what is appropiate or not.
The mufti's message to his congregation was simply "don't let your daughters go out like meat,roasting in the sun."
Good advice to parents.Especially with skin cancer reaching epedemic
poportions and slip slop slap is not as good as being fully robed.
Posted by BROCK, Monday, 13 November 2006 10:35:02 AM
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am very sorry u were
a victim of rape
but i dont think
its right to band girls
from wearing sexy chlothes
most of them are aware of the risk
but they dont really care
they dont want to be seen
as plain
they want to be seen as a women
as someone who is experienced
but u are right in most pionts
but bannin them
they'll totally hate
the person who banned them
and they'll get out of controll
there gonna wanna be disobedient and rude
and it wont make much difference
cuz most parents would protest 2
they want there duaghter to
experience life
they want them to dress how they
want
but i think explainin the risk to them

would help them
but bannin them
would only make things
worse
Posted by blaze_101, Monday, 13 November 2006 10:36:36 AM
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