Daniel says "Young men are not receiving the message that to be a young dad with a partner and a child is desirable."

How sure are we that that's true? It's entirely possible that young men are perfectly well aware of this. However, they'd also likely be aware that all to often that is not how things turn out. The young woman at least knows that if the relationship fails, she will most likely retain custody of the child, or children. The young man knows that the probable result of a relationship breakdown is a situation where at most he has some access to the children, who cannot be said to be living with him. He'll also know that he'll be paying child support into his forties.

If he's studies matters further, he'll realise that in some circumstances, he'll actually be supporting his ex, because he'll be providing more than half of her total income. In addition, he'll know that if he finds a new partner, and they have children, those children will be second class citizens when it comes to having access to his earnings.

So the balance of risks and benefits are different. It makes more sense for the young man to hold off waiting for what he perceives as being a better potential partner. After all, he doesn't have a ticking biological clock.

If we want young men to be willing to father children, we need to reduce the risks they take in the process.

Sylvia Else.

Another male maligning article from Daniel.

Britanny Spears is most likely having her baby as a type of fashion accessory, and one has to ask how many other women are like this, and how many sincerely want a family which will include the father?

There have been a number of books written on parenting by female authors that leave out the father completely, and even the Sex Discrimination Commissioner recently said that IVF was something that should only be discussed between a woman and her doctor. Where’s the father in her thinking processes?

I’ve also heard 17 yr old girls say that they won’t go out with a 17 yr old boy unless he has his own car.

To even think about getting married and having children the man has to have a lot of money, and if he goes ahead he has at least a 40% chance of rarely seeing those children in the future. That is now the situation for the man.

Daniel is clearly looking at issues faced by young men today he is not maligning men he is looking at reasons why they are afraid of commitment. Men are facing challenges they have never had to face before, its scary, sometimes negative things result and sometimes positive outcomes ensue.

Thank you Daniel for questioning and not getting into the blame game.

Timkins, I really think you miss the point of Daniel's articles. I agree that they miss some significant issues facing men but they do address important concepts.

Being a father is a really good thing as is love. When I put the article in context with the issues you and I face it reminds me of the old adage, "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". A hard pill to swallow and in the case of broken marriage going really belly up with much harsher consequences than just a broken heart. Do we want young men to become old men never having known the joy of children? Me I'm about reform that makes it less appealing and harder to exclude dad's from kids lives.

The stuff Daniel is saying is important, someone else will need to write about the other side of the coin. Daniel is not the person to write those articles, he does do a good job at touching on the upside of relationships and fatherhood for men. Maybe the articles would be better if he understood what it is like to be isolated from your kids because someone else has other plans, to work hard and struggle financially because someone else does not wank to work etc. For his sake I hope he does not get to understand it too well.

Daniel Said:
"This doesn’t mean young men are selfish or cruel. It means they are lacking the support and encouragement from society to take on the challenge of being a young dad"

Hence I reiterate my strongly held view that our Western 'Individualism' is a cultural 'black spot' which will result in widespread depression and mental illness as people try to 'go it alone' as they have been brainwashed into thinking is the 'way'.
We have so many 'strong independant women' movies and the such like these days, with unreal images like Charlies Angels full throttle etc, possibly convincing young women they really CAN go it alone.
I have only one thing to say to that idea HOGWASH ! Life is farrrr to complex and demanding to attempt this.

This is one reason why a fellowship of Christians is a very strong cultural and social force. In some ways it replaces the more traditional 'extended family', not that it SHOULD, but it seems to happen a bit this way. We all know who are the 'battlers' and single mums in our sub community and when crises develop, we can (and do) help.

Daniels point is well taken, young men are also victims of the 'glorious individualism' preached from when we were babies and allowed to cry ourselves to sleep in a room up the other end of the house from mum and dad. We all need to work toGETHER in the process of mutual support and encouragement for young mums and dads alike.

Robert,
The article from Daniel is just another of those “men have to change their ways “ articles. There are hundreds of them. They are churned out almost daily, and they result from the notion that if there is anything wrong in society, then blame it on the male.

Most men want children, as it is a natural desire. But we now live in Fem-World, which is a mixture of feminism and consumerism, and it is an extremely hostile place for men and children if you consider the amount of abortion and divorce that is occurring, and most abortions and divorces are initiated by women.

To the modern woman, she is paramount, and the man is just a sperm donor and bank account. Fem-World tells the woman that she can use the man as a sperm donor and then keep his bank account. The man is totally disposable in the woman’s mind.

Daniel is suggestion that its “all men’s fault” because of the decline of marriage etc. That becomes misandry if the bigger picture is not looked at. In many ways it is absolutely incredible how males have anything to do with the female gender at all, considering what is occurring inside the mind of the modern woman.

To prove the above, all Daniel has to do is look at the relevant statistics, talk to women, read their literature, and maybe even talk to the Sex Discrimination Commissioner about men.