The National Forum   Donate   Your Account   On Line Opinion   Forum   Blogs   Polling   About   
The Forum - On Line Opinion's article discussion area



Syndicate
RSS/XML


RSS 2.0

Main Articles General

Sign In      Register

The Forum > Article Comments > Why don't dads spend more time with kids? > Comments

Why don't dads spend more time with kids? : Comments

By Peter West, published 6/6/2017

The role of the father is disparaged or minimised. In earlier times, children were seen as belonging to fathers. The father was the natural parent, as it were.

  1. Pages:
  2. Page 1
  3. All
Because they can't more often than not? But are at the beck and call of indifferent employers, who put more value on an extra dollar than the family life of the employee. Compounded by a predilection to build businesses where the people aren't. then expect them to commute to work, shop or play?

And as a planning model making cities too expensive for those we take for granted? The forced to commute, spending as much as four hours daily in gridlocked traffic by diabolical planning paradigms that suit profiting developers and or indifferent state governments alone.

And the sort of thing one might expect when the inmates have taken over the asylum, And then made us all slaves of an economy?

I spent all the time I could with my family and most times treasured every minute of it! Aside from that had to buy a first home and furnish it with enough hire purchase agreements to paper the walls with.

Was listening to a 14 year old boy posing a question on housing affordability to the panel on yesterday's Q+A. Where the preamble included. Given on an average income, I'd need 18 years to save a deposit, then another 165 years to pay off the mortgage, how can I ever expect to own my own home? To which one panel member added, or pay rent?

Even with interest rates as low as they are, Aussies spend more time at work often doing unpaid overtime, than ever before. Then there is gridlock and the now obligatory commute, sometimes consuming four hours a day?

Thus the ideal of a 38 hour working week went out the window at least a couple of decades ago.

And then self satisfied academics ask, why don't dads spend more time with their kids?
Alan B.
Posted by Alan B., Tuesday, 6 June 2017 12:08:23 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
Thank you to Dr West for the continued interest in the field and the articles that are sorely needed. Just a couple of points and I may come back later if time allows.

Childhood Emotional Neglect
By far the biggest contributor I'd say from my own life experience, including years of volunteering, coaching sports and sharing around camp fires is Childhood Emotional Neglect. It is done by good parents. It is not ill-intentioned. It affects boys more than girls (think about it). Its effects on the child and adult are crippling and in what the parent, the father in this case, passes it on to his children. I will not go into this further. Interested others can Google and there are questionnaires that will immediately remind them of things forgotten and causes of continuing pain. Any who do that might comment here for the benefit of others - passing it on.

Add to that, the encouragement of a harmful stoicism for men, where men did not care for themselves.

'Monkey Mind'
With modern work pressures, technology included, we all tend to arrive home with our mind filled with past history (always negative), unlikely but risky future threats), outstanding issues real or imagined from the day and unfinished business. Rumination. So it is possibly straight to the Net or worry spot or whatever. When we go to work we get there with our mind similarly occupied. We forget the drive while on 'auto-pilot' and it is lucky we get there are all.

-There is far too much here for us to address as individuals, or here on OLO. So my recommendation for all is Mindfulness.

- For fathers (mothers too) to help children and themselves,
'Sitting Still Like a Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and Their Parents)'
- TED talk

I have stayed away from the nasty feminist politics being directed at men and by people who should know better.
Posted by leoj, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 4:28:00 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
With the trend towards so many fatherless families, childhood emotional neglect (CEN) must increase.

An article on CEN. Good to have reports from both genders,

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-recognize-overcome-childhood-emotional-neglect-0218165
Posted by leoj, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 10:57:48 PM
Find out more about this user Recommend this comment for deletion Return to top of page Return to Forum Main Page Copy comment URL to clipboard
  1. Pages:
  2. Page 1
  3. All

About Us :: Search :: Discuss :: Feedback :: Legals :: Privacy