What a superbly reasoned suggestion, Michael.
We have it in our owns hands to control this societal scourge by forming the Department of Sexual Relations, perhaps headed by Fred Nile.
The nation could soon return to a state of high economic growth by removing the myriad of negative medical outcomes which you list.
A more rigid approach to sex is definitely called for.

I'd be wary about posting satirical articles like this around here, Dr. Keane. Some of our nuttier Tories are likely to take this suggestion seriously.

The author obviously has problems with public health authorities. His resentment must be due to issues he has at work. This kind of sarcasm is not the way to fix his problem.

There is a lot that can be said in support of this issue. Too much energy is expended for no socially productive purpose as it is.

Perhaps, on marriage, all partners should be micro-chipped. The question is: where to put the chips.

Just trying to help.

Joe

Wild wild women? That's just a figment of an overactive imagination? There is no such animal!?

Men who respond to erotic stimuli as just a natural reflex have no actual control of their natural reflexes; and the best marriage is one where the"natural" sexual appetite is the same or stronger in the female!?

Just not to the point which has him climbing up a ladder and on to the roof then pulling it up after him?

A different take on not tonight Josephine, I'm the one with all the headaches!?

That said there's a couple of inherently serious sayings I should share. The irish say a woman happy in bed is a woman happily wed.

The Chinese say happy wife equals a happy life.

A good healthy sex life is fundamental and prerequisite to a successful relationship, so is fidelity.

Even so, to coin a phrase, if the laundry isn't done at home it needs to be taken out.

Intercourse needs more regulation?

Well we don't need it shoved in our faces at the usual street corner!?

Perhaps it could be regulated into existence for those not getting any?

Good sex is a beautiful thing but not as half as nice as the natural affection that goes with it!?

Birth control?

Try buying a TV and leaving the lights on!

It works a treat when he/she has a face only a mother could love or like the north end of a south bound camel!

Or a body like a blimp/zeppelin?

And slam bam thankyou mam, is only exceeded by buzz whir thank you sir.

We can get just a bit too serious/precious about the most natural act in? the world!

I think over regulation needs to be replaced by a bit more of, say what you mean, mean what you say!?

Oh how we danced on the night we were wed,
we danced and we danced, because there was no bed. Rhrosty.

While I do realise that this is satirical, it very closely resembles the legal and social thought in many religiously guided countries that shall not be named...

Unfortunate but true.

It's why womens rights in many of these countries are so medieval.