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The Forum > Article Comments > Self acceptance or self esteem - in memory of Dr Albert Ellis > Comments

Self acceptance or self esteem - in memory of Dr Albert Ellis : Comments

By Giulio Bortolozzo, published 26/7/2012

The problem with self esteem is that it is based on the sometimes ephemeral opinions of others.

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The author wrote: Albert Ellis who passed away five years ago this week said:

'Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to man or woman because it's conditional.'

He was on to something here, people learning to esteem themselves according to how others viewed them or how well they did at tasks was the order of the day. "I'm good because so and so said I am or I am clever because my teacher said I was. Aren't I good girl?"

The author defined self-esteem in a particular way to support Ellis’ assertion. However, self-esteem need not be defined in the way that the author defined it. It may be defined as confidence in oneself which is not dependent on the opinion of others. I think Albert Ellis was on to nothing.

I think hatred of the other because the other is defined as different in some way is the greatest sickness known to humans. It defines religious, national, racial and cultural hatred.
Posted by david f, Thursday, 26 July 2012 10:41:48 AM
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I agree, davidf.

There seems to be some confusion surrounding the term ‘self-esteem’ here. According to many criteria, it's deemed to actually be an 'unconditional' form of self love - i.e. the ability to hold yourself in high regard, even when faced with rejection, disappointment or failure.

But whichever definition you accept, the wisdom remains that any form of self-esteem conditional to acceptance and approval from others and success and achievement in the public arena is a very insecure foundation for living a fulfilling life. There was a strong movement towards unconditional self-esteem during the 60s, 70s and part of the 80s, but the worldwide conservative, neo-liberal backlash since the late 80s has all but demolished this.

Unfortnately, Australian (and Western) society is moving further and further away from unconditional methods of measuring our worth as individuals and as a nation. Government policies, think tanks and social commentary increasingly rely on empty, externalised valuation methods - such as school NAPLAN results, Olympic medals, celebrity watching, opinion polls, obssessions with wealth and status, consumerism, economic statistics etc – to measure our worth against others and other nations
Posted by Killarney, Thursday, 26 July 2012 1:43:13 PM
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