I've just seen yet another Commonwealth Bank advertisement which shows a man being hit by a woman.

If I recall correctly it's not the first advertisement they have produced which appeared to promote the idea that there is something funny about women hitting men.

The plight of men suffering from domestic violence is difficult enough without major corporate players promoting the idea that violence against men is OK. It is already very difficult to get the professionals who should care to pay attention when the victim is male and the perpetrator is female without continued reinforcement of the idea that such violence is somehow acceptable.

I almost wish I still had an account with them so I could make a point of closing it.

R0bert

Have you told the Bank that you find their Advertisement offensive?

I am somewhat gagged from speaking my mind on the matter as I have one son going through divorce, & that today can be a very nasty psychological experience for any man when his X leaves, because she is not happy, then goes on and takes on a lover. Today’s “legal beagles,” take the woman’s side no matter how wrong she is in her behaviour.

I do have an account with the Commonwealth. Several, in fact. I shall submit a letter of complaint today.

With the hysterical "White Ribbon Campaign" starting again, it's timely to point out to the bank and others that most violence in the home is perpetrated by women, not by men, according to the ABS. It's also worth making the point that men's violence in the home is often a response to the goading of the woman, who is granted impunity to keep irritating as long as she likes, in the certain knowledge that her victim is not allowed to do anything to respond. After all, if he even raises his voice, he's being "violent" according to the girls in the "coffee club" (and at Legal Aid, the little darlings).

What we're seeing in Australia is nothing less than the demonisation of men. The effect on men, as one who was accused of "violence" for daring to shout back (and got slapped with a DVO) is nothing short of devastating. In my own case, it came during a custody matter (surprising, no?) and it resulted in my children not seeing me for 7 months because the magistrate said "I can't take the chance that you may be violent" whilst the case was still at mention stage, ie; no evidence submitted or heard, and added them to the interim order. After 7 months, I gave up fighting and accepted the DVO without admission, at which point, suddenly, miraculously, I was no longer a threat and my children were removed from the final order.

The domestic violence industry in Australia is worth many millions of dollars to the legal practitioners and the social workers who encourage women to claim violence. It is a godsend to shonky family lawyers who wish to avoid having to negotiate properly. It is a gift to controlling women, who can use it as a passive-aggressive assault on the man in their lives. In my view, the industry is self-serving and perpetrates much more violence than it prevents. Few of those within its ranks have anything to boast of.

men of australia!

don't hang around with women who are tougher than you, they will take advantage. fair warning.

this may be this month's "silliest thread", i hope so.

DEMOS, when you can be seen as the guilty one if you defend yourself it's not about who is tougher. When the authorities (cops, counsellors etc) think that DV is not an issue if the perpetrator is female and the victim male it's not silly.

When the cost of walking away may be your kids, your assets and a big slice of your future income it's no joke.

It's time that our society accepted that violence other than in self defense is unacceptable regardless of the genders of the perpetrator and victim.

I doubt that your post will rank as this months most ill informed but a commendable effort never the less.

R0bert

Over sensitivity and hypocrisy is RIFE in this society. lighten up. Obviously domestic violence is wrong. We all know it. Maybe we should complain about funniest home videos as well. *rolls*

I always wonder who complains about ads. This thread SMACKS ('cuse the pun) of sour grapes. Write about the reality of domestic violence, not how some chick might see it as ok to physically abuse their partner because of what they saw on a bank ad...please. I haven't seen the ad, but I bet if I do it'll only confirm what I'm envisioning.

I'm afraid I do have to file this one under my "get over it" section.

Some things aren't worth taking seriously. This ad is one of them.

Don't for a second equate that to wider issues of domestice violence. This is a TV ad. We can't react with PC indignance every time something remotely offensive crops up.

StG "Obviously domestic violence is wrong. We all know it." - unfortunately we don't all know it. I have an ex who thought it quite OK to hit me when she wanted to escalate the stakes in an argument. I've experienced 3 different marriage counsellors who did not like it but said there was no real problem because she was "unlikely" to do real harm to me. We have a federal government which while admitting that men are victims of some DV chooses to spend millions of tax dollars on an anti-DV campaign that completely ignores male victims (not even a one in twenty representation).

There are claims (which I can't substantiate) that males in the UK have between a 1/3 and a 1/4 chance of being arrested if they ring and report DV of which they are the victim.

There are serious studies which show that men are assaulted by partners in similar numbers to women, the only significant difference is at the extreme end of the spectrum and the numbers who suffer major physical trauma - most of the advertising is focussed on the more "mundane" forms of DV.

TurnRightThenLeft, the time to get over it will be when men with abusive spouses receive similar social and legal support to that available to women with an abusive spouse or maybe when we all decide that the messages we get through the media don't have any impact on anybodies thinking on what is acceptable and what is not.

This is not just about one add, it's one of a number of adds which show men being assaulted by women for reasons other than self defense.
It's unlikely that many people will make a specific change of belief about assaulting a partner (or stranger in the street) based on one add. What this stuff does is reinforce the message already out there that women assaulting men is no big deal.

Of course if advertising has no impact at all then there are a lot of companies wasting a lot of money on it.

R0bert

Who cares Robert?What really hurts is when they divorce you.

Robert~ Your experiences have made you hyper sensitive. It's an ad. Lighten up. We have ALL got one story or another, and this isn't the place I'm gonna share mine but I put my concerns about that issue in its proper place...not jumping up and down every time I see something that VAGUELY resembles it. Couples play fight as well. You wanna ban that in the home because of the message it might give their children?.

My first girlfriend slapped me, once. As with any domestic violence, don't stand for it. If it becomes an big issue, walk. Isn't that what we tell the women victims of DV?. Some people can't communicate their severe frustration in any way other than physically...don't stand for it.

StG, as many victims of DV will testify it's not always as simple as walking away. There are reasons why men and women choose to stay, some good some bad. Some take the wedding vows they made seriously even in the face of unworkable situations.

For men the part outside their control is the unfair playing field they experience when it comes to child residency issues along with the impacts on property and C$A payments.

The situation is worsened by the unwillingness of society and government to treat the plight of male victims of DV with any seriousness. Have you ever seen a government funded anti-DV advertisement which address female initiated DV, either physical violence or controlling behaviors? I don't recall a single one.

Men also suffer violence at each others hands in the general community at a high rate. Not always mutual violence or provoked but part of a mindset held by some that males are legitimate targets of violence.

Can you imagine these same advertisers running campaigns which treated women being assaulted either in the home, on public transport or on the street as a joke?

The messages we get through the media do contribute to our thinking and far too many people already seem to think that violence where the victim is male is no big deal. That he probably deserved it.

R0bert

Hey guys, I was reading this post with interest.

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I find it really helpful

http://www.fathersonline.org/index.html

Fatherhood Stories
This section of the Fatherhood Foundation website is currently under construction and will be completed as funds become available.

We enclose four fatherhood stories taken from the fathersonline newsletter.

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http://www.fathersonline.org/index.html