Philips:

“If explaining to me how an objective interpretation of my post could only lead one to the conclusion that it was a cry for help were indeed futile, then surely explaining to me that it would be futile would also be futile”

Futile to you perhaps but not necessarily futile to others who may be observing your responses. It is not futile to suggest that the reason for less women on OLO is the prevalence of emotional immaturity by posters such as yourself and to give an example of that immaturity. Others can judge for themselves whether it is a good example. Of course I would not expect you to agree that it is a good example since to do so would require a level of integrity which I do not think you possess.

“Neither my words nor my actions have suggested otherwise.”

Yes they do. If you did not feel guilty then you would have quickly dismissed my claims without needing to know my reasons. It is your reasons that are the subject of guilt or otherwise. If your intent was to cry for help then it is an abuse of these forums for which you should feel legitimate guilt. If you did not intend to cry for help then you simply would not feel guilty and that should be all the information you need.

“a mood always exists when two or more individuals communicate”

There are good moods and bad moods. You based your description of the mood as calm and enjoyable on your feelings but not on mine. Since I have given you no indication of how I feel you can only be presuming and that is why I called it presumptuous. Telling me what you felt would be a much more honest contribution than presuming to know what I felt.

Dear phanto,

<<Futile to you perhaps but not necessarily futile to others who may be observing your responses.>>

But still the contradiction remains, suggesting that you cannot fulfil my request.

<<It is not futile to suggest that the reason for less women on OLO is the prevalence of emotional immaturity by posters such as yourself and to give an example of that immaturity.>>

Indeed. However, you have not yet provided any reason to believe that I am emotionally immature. Citing examples should not be too hard.

<<Of course I would not expect you to agree that it is a good example since to do so would require a level of integrity which I do not think you possess.>>

Would you be so kind as to provide some examples demonstrating this lack of integrity on my behalf?

<<If you did not feel guilty then you would have quickly dismissed my claims without needing to know my reasons.>>

I am afraid you are again making hasty assumptions which ignore the other possibilities I have listed. So, again, neither my words nor my actions have suggested that I do not trust my own feelings in this instance.

<<If your intent was to cry for help then it is an abuse of these forums for which you should feel legitimate guilt.>>

Presuming it is an abuse, that is likely, yes.

<<If you did not intend to cry for help then you simply would not feel guilty and that should be all the information you need.>>

This is likely the case, too. However, you have overlooked my point regarding misplaced guilt.

<<You based your description of the mood as calm and enjoyable on your feelings but not on mine.>>

On my perception, yes.

<<Since I have given you no indication of how I feel you can only be presuming and that is why I called it presumptuous.>>

I am sorry you disagreed.

<<Telling me what you felt would be a much more honest contribution than presuming to know what I felt.>>

Indeed, or ‘less-clumsy’. That you cite only the most unfavourable possibility is rather revealing.

//Instead, you should take a deep calming breath and insert an object like a large piece of cardboard between the cats//

Nah, I reckon we should just get phanto spayed. He's probably only acting up because he's on heat, because he has been quite good for quite a while now, and has only quite recently fallen back into his old, unfortunate habit of pretending he can read minds. So I'd say it's just that time of his cycle, which a quick neutering should fix. I've got a couple of spare bricks at my place.

Philips:

“But still the contradiction remains, suggesting that you cannot fulfil my request.”

Where exactly is the contradiction again? Why is it contradictory to not give you reasons if I think it would be futile to do so?

“Citing examples should not be too hard.”

I already cited the example of your behaviour where you have raised an issue that occurred to you some time ago which you should have dealt with at the time to your satisfaction or let it go. Wanting to bring it to the fore again is a cry for help. It is an immature response to an emotional situation of the past.

It was not necessary to raise such an incident in order to promote an argument for the absence of women on OLO. It is enough to generalise about the situation to get your point across. However, you used the opportunity to re-open a situation from which you are obviously still smarting. You were looking for sympathy rather than promoting an argument. If you wanted to use examples you could have used examples which did not occur to you thus avoiding any suggestion that you were crying for help.

When you have other possibilities to advance your argument but choose one that looks like you are trying to elicit sympathy then of course people will determine that you have some kind of axe to grind and need help in order to grind it. This is emotionally immature.

If you were not looking for sympathy then you will not feel guilty about your actions and that is all you need to go by. If you have done nothing wrong then you will not need to explain your actions nor will you need anyone to spell it out for you. Observers will also be able to make up their own minds irrespective of your protestations.

“I am sorry you disagreed. “

Why would you be sorry if it is beyond your control?

Presuming it is an abuse, that is likely, yes. This is likely the case, too. However, you have overlooked my point regarding misplaced guilt. You based your description of the mood as calm and enjoyable on your feelings but not on mine. Fur should be brushed smoothly . Your hand are rough and place me between a rock and a hard place. The contradiction is painful.

Dear phanto,

I should clarify that when I said, “But still the contradiction remains…”, I should have instead said, “But still a contradiction remains”.

<<Where exactly is the contradiction again?>>

The new contradiction exists between your insistence that others are smart enough to make up their own minds without our input, and your suggestion that you are communicating with me for the benefit of others:

“Are you saying that they are too stupid to make such a determination based on the evidence before their own eyes?” (http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=7964#246717)

“Futile to you perhaps but not necessarily futile to others who may be observing your responses.” (http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=7964#246724)

<<I already cited the example of your behaviour where you have raised an issue that occurred to you some time ago which you should have dealt with at the time to your satisfaction or let it go.>>

Yes. Again, though, you omitted other possibilities in your assessment. Therefore, your example is dubious at best.

<<Wanting to bring it to the fore again is a cry for help.>>

How do you know that it was not frustration? Or that I simply felt that it was relevant at the time? Once again, you have overlooked other possibilities.

<<It was not necessary to raise such an incident …>>

Perhaps. It was, however, relevant to bullying - which I proposed as a reason for the departure of some.

<<However, you used the opportunity to re-open a situation from which you are obviously still smarting.>>

Yes, either that or I felt it had relevance.

<<You were looking for sympathy rather than promoting an argument.>>

Could you please cite your evidence for this claim? Remember to rule out all other possibilities.

<<If you wanted to use examples you could have used examples which did not occur to you ...>>

Indeed, I could have. However, personal experiences are always preferable. Had I used someone else’s experience, you could then have asked how I could have known how that individual perceived what had happened to them.

<<Why would you be sorry if it is beyond your control?>>

Because I feel sympathy.

http://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/sorry