I'd like to hear from contributors to this forum
about any particular incident that occurred in
their lives that had an impact on them - and made them
see things more clearly.

Things have been put into perspective for me since
my bad fall in September. I've spent the past 12 and a
half weeks in hospitals. It's been a long haul. I am
now in re-hab. The healing is going very slowly.
However, it's been quite an education. When I was tempted
to feel sorry for myself - I noticed in physio
sessions people who were amputees, not giving up. Which made me
realise "Get a grip" there are people much worse off than me.

And, much as we complain about our health services. They
in reality are excellent - and we should be grateful.
We are lucky in this country.

Before I forget - May the love and
blessing, happiness too
of Christmas be yours
the whole year through.

All The Best.

Foxy,a merry Christmas and goodwill to all is my wish for you, we strive to find our differences even though they are few. Friendship love and journey safe are the gifts that we all seek, but it’s only in the giving that we will harvest this relief.............best wishes Paul.

Dear Foxy, thank you for the words of encouragement that your situation has realized. Measured activity is the best healer in physical trauma such as yours. Your observations mirror my experience except I had to be forcefully told.

When I was 18 I had a terrible motor bike accident. Many operations on my leg found me down and forlorn. With my leg still in plaster 12 months on, I climbed on the back of a friend’s bike and a car hit us at speed on the plastered leg. This meant several further rounds of surgery and on my 21st birthday I had nothing except a permanent disability to look forward to. I did not want to celebrate my 21st but a friend’s family took me out to dinner and after some drinks I was rolling in self pity. The mum of the family drove me home and told me that life in whatever form is better than the alternative, and only when the alternative looms does our expectations of what is acceptable drop from the perfect to the acceptable. She told me of the adage “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met the man who had no feet”. Her message was forcefully put and luckily my adolescent mind came to a realization. I didn’t like the realization, but I accepted the facts of the matter for the first time.

With a great deal of work I was able to walk again some year’s later.......good luck my friend.

Hi Foxy, good to hear from you again. I'd been wondering about your absence, & had missed any post about it. Glad to hear you're on the mend, if slowly.

It was seeing how isolated islander communities in the Pacific islands live that did it for me. With less than a couple of hundred people on an atoll, or a small high island, hundreds of nautical miles from any other, it is a limited life. A copra boat 3 or 4 times a year, & the very occasional yacht their only contact.

Taboos about inter family marriage means many do not have a partner available, & they no longer build the big canoes to make trading voyages they used to that overcame this problem.

I took 4 young teen girls from one atoll to another 400 miles away, & brought back 6 from there. These girls were unlikely to ever see home again. How much courage would that trip require.

As for health, yes we have great service for emergencies. My heart attacks have been treated very quickly. However after waiting 3 years just to see a specialist about my knees, I gave up & went private.

Yes my knees are shot, & I should have had replacement years ago. However with the damage the steroids I've been on for so long, have done to my system, the specialists will not operate as my healing would be doubtful, & infection would probably kill me. Fortunately they don't hurt driving my favourite cars, but getting in & out can be difficult. You wouldn't know where I can get one of those little cranes the knights in shining armour had to lift them on & off their horses do you?

Dear SOG,

Thank You for sharing your own experience. It is
most refreshing to find someone who was going
through difficult times themselves and to find them so
giving of their time and advice.

I appreciate your friendship and sage advice and
your lending an ear in this discussion.

I realise that the journey ahead won't be an easy one
for me however with the right outlook - I hope that
like you, I shall recover quickly.

Again - Many Thanks for your taking the time to respond
to this discussion.

Dear Hassie,

I'm so sorry to learn about your health problems.
Thank You (as always ,for your kind words).
Our limbs are something we take for granted until we
lose their functioning capacity. And then it becomes
not only very painful. Your whole life changes.
In hospital I was not allowed to be "weight-bearing"
on my right leg - so I had to be lifted up like a
piece of ship's cargo. However I now no longer have to
wear a brace (Thank God) and am able to walk (slowly)
with a four-wheel pusher. There's still a lot I can't do -
but I'm not giving up - and determined to recover.

I'm learnt that there are always people in much worse
states. If they can keep up their positivity - then
I have to do the same. Or at least try.

The human spirit is extraordinary - no matter where we live -
big city or on an island. The wish to survive is very
strong. We have many examples of people fighting towards
reaching that goal.

Dearest Foxy,

I had no idea that you had had an accident ! I'm sure that there are many of your friends here who are hoping for your speedy recovery, and getting back on the OLO horse :) And you're still the same old Foxy !

All the very best for the holiday season, and for many more to come !

Love always,

Joe

Dear Joe,

Thank You for your kind words.

Kind Thoughts and all Good Wishes
for Christmas and the New Year.

A big hug.

Hi there FOXY...

Like HASBEEN, I've been wondering where you've been ? And you've spent the last twelve and a half weeks in Hospital as a result of a bad fall ! Hell, you don't do things by half do you ? I'm so very sorry to hear of your accident, and can only hope you're well on the road to getting much better, I really do.

To your question; putting things into perspective:-

The first (not necessarily in order) - The suicide, in 2014 of my first dear wife. I've seen an enormous amount of human misery in my lifetime, but this event knocked me totally for a six.

Secondly - South Vietnam; where I completely lost all notions of religion (God, Jesus etc); and all semblance of human compassion.

I hope you have a really happy and joyous Christmas FOXY, and the same sentiments are conveyed to ALL those folk who contribute to this most magnificent Forum of ours, and to it's owner and founder GRAHAM Young. To you all, I wish everyone a very healthy, and SAFE 2016 !

Hi Foxy

bit rough of you to leave Susie to do all the debating/squabbling/Turnbull gloating etc.. Poirot had also gone missing. May you have a speedy recovery and a blessed 2016.

my life changer was meeting the woman of my dreams whom I am very blessed to have as a wife/soulmate/friend

cheers

Dear O Sung Wu,

Thank You so much for contributing to the discussion
and for your Good Wishes and Kind Words.
The suicide of a loved one is something I can't even
begin to imagine. I'm so sorry.

As for the trauma of the Vietnam War - that is
something that many still suffer from today.
I saw a program recently which showed the positive
effects on ex- soldiers in caring for horses. Apparently
its a special program set up in the Hunter Valley Region
of NSW. To help veterans of war suffering from PTSD (Post
Traumatic Stress Disorders).

All The Best.

Dear runner,

Thank You for your Good Wishes.
And Blessings to you and yours.

I'm not going to be bragging about Mr Turnbull.
He's the last thing on my mind at the moment.
And ,I hope that I won't be "squabbling" with anyone
now or in the future. I have been through quite an
educative process - learning that other people's
opinions do matter and that I am not always right.
And what's really important in life is to concentrate
on what unites us, not divides us. As long as we have love,
family, and friends - that's what matters.

Also it may interest you to know that while in
hospital, the greatest calming influence on me was
not medication - but the Pastoral Care that was provided
by so many dedicated, compassionate, and caring people.
I prayed with all of them - and found peace.

Dear runner,

I forgot to add the following:

"But for all of us who journey through the
dark abyss of loneliness
There comes a great announcement: we are not alone!
For the maker of each heart that beats
the giver of each breath we take
Has come to earth, and given hope its birth."

(Steven Curtis Chapman).

Hi dear Foxy, so good to hear from you.
I am very sorry to read about your long hospitalization, and yes, if you don't have your health then not much else goes well in your life.

A hospital stay after a knee operation, and a long recuperation afterwards, changed my views on life and the art of being a patient! I realized how awful it is not to be fully mobile and to depend on others, and to be in pain.
As a nurse I never fully realized just how important independence and mobility is.

Our health system certainly isn't perfect, but I have travelled overseas extensively and I know just how good Australians have got it. All the same, I called out a few nasty nurses during my hospital stay who were bullying the younger nurses, and told them I would report their behavior if I saw it again...I didn't....but I was under no illusions that it carried on out of my eyesight.

I have missed you and Poirot around here that's for sure, but I know that if I up and left, the good ol boys on this forum would have no one to annoy, so I stay...for them :)

Dear Suse,

I'm so glad that you're still contributing to this
forum. So sorry to hear about your knee problems
and bad experiences with some nurses. My experiences
were positive, but as I said earlier - not having
mobility made me feel old for the first time in my life.
As well as depressed and frustrated. It was the nursing
staff that kept me going and motivated. And I haven't even
touched on the professionalism of those providing physio
and exercises for me.

We are indeed lucky in this country with the services
available to us. I am also glad that I've had private
health cover all of my life. Even though I was taken to
and spent time in public hospitals during these past
12 and a half weeks - and
shared a room with three other people,
because there wasn't a private one available.
It turned out to
be great. We shared stories and experiences - and I always had
an ear - and caring - when needed.
Friendships were formed.
I'm glad to be back. Hopefully things will get better before
too long.

'As long as we have love,
family, and friends - that's what matter'

no truer word spoken Foxy

Hi Foxy,

Sorry to hear you've been through such trauma - but good to know you're making progress.

I missed you around here...and I have to say one of the things that irks me about OLO is that if someone disappears, there's no way to find out if they have some major health problem or whatever. We have to surmise what may have befallen them, if anything. It's difficult to talk to people over a period of time, and then find you have no way of knowing if they are all right or not.

Other forums like twitter or facebook, for example, have private messaging mechanisms for use if one wishes.

I've been absent because occasionally I get a bit weary of arguing with people...sometimes it's not so pleasant and I need to recharge in an atmosphere where I'm not butting heads with other people.

Nice to have you back, Foxy - best wished for the season to you and everyone here : )

Incidents that made us see things more clearly?

Well, given that it's December 25… The first occurred when I was about four and realised that mum and dad were lying about Santa Claus, which opened up a whole new world of realisation that humans can and do talk about things that are not real, as though they are.

But not wanting to hurt my parents feelings, or those of my younger brothers, I kept pretending to believe in Santa for another couple of years.

I choose to remember the event as learning about empathy.

Speaking of which… On an average day approximately 150,000 people on Earth die but it is an extraordinarily high probability that you don't know and couldn't name any of them. Which makes me reflect on two things. One, that even being able to think about this means you're not one of them. Two, for the most part as far as you're concerned it's as if those lives and deaths didn't happen.

So empathy is hugely conditional.

But, Foxy, I extend my unconditional best wishes for the season and your speediest recuperation, though it sounds as though you're not going out clubbing for New Years?

Dearest Foxy,

I'm still chewing over your suggestion ' to hear from contributors to this forum about any particular incident that occurred in their lives that had an impact on them - and made them see things more clearly.'

In a long and relatively mis-spent life - regrets, I've had a few - there have been many crucial points, traumatic incidents, that have forced re-thinks and re-directions, some too painful to talk about - and I'm sure many of us have plenty of those. But it's a good idea, especially at the end of a year, or during a holiday season, to reflect back on those.

G'day Poirot, I'm sure we've missed you too - stick at it, always be true to yourself, and have a very Merry Christmas :)

Love to both,

Joe

Dearest Foxy,

There is a fascinating article in the Guardian about Adela Pankhurst:

http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/dec/24/wayward-suffragette-adela-pankhurst-and-her-remarkable-australian-life

It would make a riveting Ph.D. for somebody to study the movements to and from the Marxist Left of people like Pankhurst, George Orwell, Howard Fast, Douglas Pike, Sam Wanamaker, Karl Popper, Isaiah Berlin, Frederick Hayek, and so many others - sorry, I can't think of anybody who has moved the other way.

Why did they move towards the Right (or in Pankhurst's case, to the extreme-Right) ?

Was it a personality trait, some fundamental belief which eventually couldn't mesh with Marxism, or was it because the movement moved - as far as they were concerned - in wrong directions, or was taken over by the usual gaggle of careerists ?

Or because of events like the sell-out in Spain, the Molotov-Ribbentrop deal, or the coups in eastern Eruope in the late forties, or the repression of the people in Hungary or the invasion of Czechoslovakia ? Or Cambodia ? Tien An Men ? Bosnia ? Kosovo ? East Timor ?

Hopefully, we learn from our mistakes, so Popper says. T. A. Edison too, with his 2000 failed light bulb experiments. Blueprints, daydreams, can be beautiful, but not if they don't match, or keep up with, reality. If lofty ideals require the sacrifice of other people, perhaps that's a huge mistake right there.

There you go, Foxy: I'm sure that for many people, there have been more than enough incidents to go around.

All the very best,

Love,

Joe

Dear runner,

Thank You.

And I again wish you and your lovely wife and
family every Happiness, Joy, warmth, and contentment
in the New Year.

Dear Poirot,

I'm so glad that you're still here. I've missed your
sage wisdom and I fully agree that it would be good
if on this forum there was a way we could find out
what happened to people who suddenly disappear from
contributing.

Dear WmTrevor,

It's good that you still keep up the belief in Santa for
members of your family. I feel that the spirit of
Christmas is something that is worth maintaining.
We shouldn't forget that Christmas is about more than
just gifts giving.

Dear Joe,

We can learn a great deal from the challenges that life
throws at us. It's not always easy to do (as a famous
politician once stated) but it's up to us how we deal
with things. I know that you've been through a lot in
your time. What impresses me is that somehow you always
see more than just the one-side. That's something that I
am only just beginning to learn to do.

Dear Foxy,

Wondered where you were, sorry to hear about your trouble; get well soon and have a happy Christmas and all the best for the New year.

Dear Joe,

I've just read your last post.

It certainly would be interesting to sit down
with the famous people you mentioned and try
to find out what prompted their life-changing
decisions. Although keeping an open mind is
not always easy. Trying to be objective is
no easy task. I would find it very difficult
to understand the motivation of someone who
tortured other people - as in the Nazi and
Soviet concentration camps.

Dearest Foxy,

There is something beautifully adolescent about revolutions - flash ! and it's all done. But for grown-ups, we know what has to come after. And after that too. And so on. Beautiful propositions, once tested, usually don't stand up.

What was a pivotal incident ? We lived for years, across the seventies, in an Aboriginal community. You get to know everybody, wave to them even at a distance, flirt with the women, joke with the men, cuddle the kids. You take for granted what you 'see'. Years later, after my dear wife and I went off to tertiary study, and after coming back many times over the intervening four or five years, being passionate about community development, I did a research thingo about the development at that community. As an afterthought, I did an income study with a good friend from there: we found that median incomes were equal to the Australian average.

Yes, that was traumatic: I really contemplated suicide and since the community was on the Murray, I had visions of swimming out and just going under. Nice and easy. But I came to my senses, and I've been trying to deal with that ever since. Why ? How ? I couldn't understand how that could be, and what were the implications, for the entire Indigenous movement ?

There have been a few others like that, but not as pivotal.

Oops, back to the baked vegetables - and sh!t, the salad ! And for Christ's sake get the pudding out of the bloody freezer ! Lay off he plonk.

Love,

Joe

Merry Christmas to all here on OLO.
I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Cheers, Suse.

Dear Is Mise,

Thank You for your Good Wishes.
The same to you and yours.

Dear Joe,

I'm sitting home alone at present - my husband has taken my
mother to our son's place for Christmas lunch this year.
Due to my inability to move very well I've opted not to be
a nuisance to anyone and have decided to stay at home.

Thank You for again sharing your thoughts and feelings and
part of the traumas you've suffered. I'm glad that you've survived.
You have much to teach younger generations. What you know and
have learned needs to be passed on. And you are a perfect
person to do just that.

Dearest Foxy,

Well, that brought tears to my eyes. Thank you, dear. You won't be alone today, we're all with you in spirit.

Much love,

Joe

Hi there FOXY...

Thank you so much for your very kind words concerning my first wife. I'll never come to terms with what's happened, and that's that.

Concerning Vietnam ? There's probably never a day go's by, when some particular event doesn't come to mind ? Especially Christmas. On that day it's usual for the Officers to serve the OR's (if not on picket or outside the wire)for what passed as a traditional Christmas Lunch, and that's precisely what they did ! I remember vividly several pieces of lettuce and tomato were already on the plate, preparatory to being served with some ham and chicken.

Being very very hot and muggy, the lettuce on my plate, appeared as being completely dead, devoid of any ordinary feature or characteristic a normal piece of lettuce usually possessed ! So much so the Officer serving me laughed and remarked amusingly '...sorry lad I know it looks awful, looks like it's been shot...' ? To this day, I never forgot those two pieces of lettuce, that I took as an omen or harbinger, indicating my impending death in South Vietnam ?

Believe it or not, my long career in the cops was probably what saved both my sanity, and ultimately, my life ?

On an entirely different note, something that POIROT said which I do thoroughly support. Some mechanism that, whilst still preserving complete anonymity, can establish the welfare and whereabouts of some of our long-term, well known contributors ? Like the unexplained absence of our beloved FOXY, a patient in hospital as an example ?

And to you BELLY my friend, if you happen to be reading this, please return to this Forum of ours, you are missed, believe me. In any event, I hope you have a very happy and joyous Christmas ol' man, OK ?

To...

SONOFGLOIN; HASBEEN; LOUDMOUTH; RUNNER; WM TREVOR; IS MISE; and...to our three gentlewomen; FOXY; SUSEONLINE & POIROT...

I'd like to wish you all, both individually and collectively, a very happy and joyous Christmas and a healthy and 'Safe', two thousand and sixteen.

With our sincerest best wishes...O SUNG WU and his long suffering Wife.

Dear O Sung Wu,

Thank You for your heartfelt words. They put a lump in
my throat and quite a few tears to my eyes. As did the
previous comments from Joe (Loudmouth) and others.

I'd like to dedicate the following to you all:

"As beautiful as the most awesome of sunsets,
As vast as a clear, cloudless sky,
As bright as the first twinkling star of the evening
As rare as a jewelled butterfly
As wondrous as blossoms unfolding their splendour
As wise as the tallest trees
As grand as the mountains that reach to the heavens
As free as a lighthearted breeze
You're the best of God's gifts
His most precious creation
A one-of-a-kind, perfect you!
And this Christmas is a time to give Thanks and remember
That you are a miracle, too."

Hi O Sung Wu,

Right back at you, brother.

Joe

Many thanks OSW and LSW (long suffering wife)......lolololol.I believe the theme and aspiration of the season was expressed by one who less than the vast majority here needed to express it.

Foxy said she would try to understand that others have views contrary to her own......it shames me that I have not been balanced enough to do the same over the years, but for Foxy, I will try....she has brought a “perspective” to me via her humility humanity and even natured replies.Foxy is special.

Dear SOG,

I have come to realise that each person has an
experience to share, a story to tell. I used to be
so sure about so many things. The older I get,
the more I realise how little I actually know -
and listening to others, is one way to do just that.

I'm no sage, or expert. Thank You for your kindness
and generosity. There's better people on this forum
that are more deserving and knowledgeable

It looks like this discussion has now run its course.

I would like to Thank everyone who participated.

I look forward to sharing in other discussions on
this forum with you all.

All The Best for 2016!

Hi there SONOFGLOIN...

Your factual comments concerning FOXY'S character and nature are indeed well founded. Similar to you, I've followed her progress through the medium of this magnificent Forum for some considerable period, even when she assumed an entirely different nom de plume.

Nevertheless, however hard she might strive to conceal her true nature, she (almost by default), can't seem to help exposing her sensitivity, her empathy for others, and compassion that forms an intrinsic part of her substantive character.

While it's true, she and I have done battle over many issues, and I've generally received a thorough thrashing because of it ! Nonetheless the respect I have for this graceful, educated and spirited 'lady' is utterly boundless. I've learnt so much from her wise counsel and philosophical perspective on life itself, I'd never be able to enumerate it, if I lived to be hundred !

Go kindly SONOFGLOIN.

Dear O Sung Wu,

Thank You for your kind words.

I love the tapestry of this forum.

You have certainly been a major part of it -
harbouring no ill-will towards others.
You have always lent a helping hand to those
who needed it and you've always treated
everyone fairly. Yes, we've disagreed at times -
but never nastily. You have been an excellent
role-model and long may you continue to contribute
to this forum.

Dearest Foxy,

I couldn't say it any better than O Sung Wu.

Hi O Sung Wu,

Stick in there, mate. It slowly gets more bearable. Most times.

There's good news and bad news:

The good news is that you will never forget her.

The bad news is that you will never forget her.

Keep busy, is my best advice, doing things that she would have enjoyed you doing.

Best wishes to you both, and thanks for upholding the standards of our OLO.

Joe

Thank you FOXY and like you, I believe this Topic has probably run it's course, from my own contributions at least.

Thank you too JOE (LOUDMOUTH) for your kindness and understanding, I most certainly appreciate it.

Curiously as a copper, you're required to attend many instances of suicide occurring from right across the population, and there is no particular demographic or social group which is wholly immune from it. So after awhile you tend to put in place some sort of emotional protective measures to at least shield you somewhat, from the awful anguish and pouring out of emotions, when you're required to ring a doorbell and inform the NOK of the suicide of a loved one.

When it happens to you personally well............!

Many many thanks Joe, for your very kind caring words, I really appreciate them more than I can ever say.

must say a very refreshing and heartbreaking lot of posts. Certainly many have gone through massive trials (especially o sung su). What a great country we live in. Trust 2016 will bring many blessings and healing for all.

Made the trek north into enemy territory Queensland bush ha ha, to spend Xmas with my partners Aussie whanau, Maori family, had a 'traditional' Xmas dinner with a hangi, raw fish sea food smoked eel etc "T" cooked heaps of fry bread. People coming and going all day and night. A visit from A huge Samoan Santa with gifts for the kids, lots of kids. No PC got this IPad from JR today, back in Brisbane. It was a different Xmas but most enjoyable

Glad your back Foxy, sorry to hear about your accident. Hope all had a good Xmas and wishing everyone a happy new year.

Dear Paul,

So glad that you had an enjoyable Christmas.
Thank You for your Good Wishes. I'm glad to
be back. Wishing you and yours All The Best
In the New Year!

Dear Foxy,

I'm saddened to read of your accident and the long recovery period. These things can be very testing and frustrating. Please take good care of yourself. It seems to have given you the opportunity to reflect on how lucky we are in this country to which I can only heartily agree.

My extended family did something different this Christmas. Thanks to an initiative from my sister all gifts had to come either from an 'Op' shop or be personally made. The idea was to step away from the rampant consumerism which seems to infect the spirit of the occasion and to relieve some of the financial impact many feel at this time of year.

I will admit to having some misgivings but it worked a treat. My wife and I had a ball ducking into Op shops and rummaging for quirky gifts for different relatives. My personal favourite was a biscuit container in the shape of a policeman which, when you lifted his head to access the contents, would shout “Stop! Move away from the Cookie Jar!” complete with blinking eyes and moving jaw, which tells you a lot about my sense of humour. However the range and quality of gifts that emerged on the night was extraordinary. Having the 16 of us sitting around a big Christmas tree, knee deep in Christmas wrapping, delighting in the reaction each new gift elicited, being amazed at what people gave away to op shops, all made for a great night and one that we are determined to repeat next Christmas.

Cont...

Cont...

So I would highly recommend it. The time taken to find or make each gift turns out to be longer because more thought is required, but the process is a lot of fun and all that time and effort is really appreciated on the night. There is the added bonus of the money generally going to great causes like the Salvos.

So Foxy, when you asked “to hear from contributors to this forum about any particular incident that occurred in their lives that had an impact on them - and made them see things more clearly.” this would be my nomination. It is possible to move away from the frenetic spend-a-thon the retail sector would seemingly have as our Christmas 'duty' and to instead reboot the occasion where the simple joy of gift giving is not perverted by the consumerism.

Season's greetings to all here on OLO.

Dear SteeleRedux,

Lovely to hear from you and Thank You for all
your Good Wishes and concern.

Your idea about Christmas gifts is an excellent one
and you and your wife are to be Congratulated.
Unfortunately this year I was in no position to do
what you guys did. I tried to keep it simple for
my husband who did all the Christmas shopping.
So we did go down the "Commercial" road. For the
grand-children "Star-Wars" was the flavour of the month.
Clothes for my mum, and personal gifts (their
requests) for the others.

Hopefully next year we shall be able to do better.