Dear SOG,

I guess neither is a good option - although I wouldn't
wish dementia on anyone. We've recently lost my mother-in-law,
she was on the tail-end of dementia and was placed in
palliative care where we kept a constant vigil.
She entered the hospital with a severe urinary
infection. She was conscious but wasn't aware of her
surroundings and could not make any conversation. She
seemed to be pleading with God to take her at long last.
She was given fluids and other vigorous support.
She recovered and left hospital and went back to her
nursing home. Her mind was substantially destroyed.
She did not know where she was or for how long she had
been there. She did not retain bladder and bowel continence,
could not dress herself or feed herself or transfer
from bed to chair to bathroom. She finally
passed away at the end of October. It was a long struggle -
and her deterioration was very marked. Now my mother's
going through the same sort of thing. I feel so helpless.
However, I'm there for her and do everything in my power to
let her know how much she's loved.

I guess I was lucky with my mother. Dad had a heart attack & died on the spot almost 30 years ago.

We got a fully self contained granny flat, installed adjacent to the house, where mum was totally independent for over 20 years.

Our town has a respite centre, with a bus, which picks the oldies up once or twice a week, for a day at the centre, or occasionally a day out. This gave her a group of friends, who would come visit when I had time to fetch them, for almost 20 years.

As these dropped out she did not make new friends, & stopped going out much, but was still in her unit until her 98Th birthday.

We did have help with her showering 4 days a week for the last 2 years, & I did her meals, there, or at the house, when she was up to it. At her 99Th birthday party she did not know which grand kids, or great grand kids, belonged to who, but did know almost all the adults.

It was only the last few months, when she could no longer stand at all that she had to go into care.

I did find her getting quite annoyed with a phone call towards the finish. The girl would not listen to her. When I took the phone I found the Suncorp computer on the other end, & that can annoy anyone. Apart from that she was always rational.

I really don't want to get quite that old thanks, & I'm sure she did not mind not getting that telegram from the queen, she might have had a problem figuring out who the woman was sending her telegrams.

Lexi>> Now my mother's going through the same sort of thing. I feel so helpless.<<

It is bigger than both of us Lexi my belle. Love compassion and dignity are the only currency that our old folks need, and I am sure you give your loved ones all three, in spades.

"There is a clam that lives just off the coast of Finland and he lasts 500 years"

Goodness, knowing the federal government's passion for seniors we can have confidence that The Hon Tanya Plibersek MP, Minister for Health and whatever, has immediately pledged a few dollars for research into that mollusc to better the health and vitality of aging Aussies.

Then again, maybe Tanya might not do that either...

Oh Hasbeen, now you've put a damper on our fun.

Just as I was contemplating all the things I could achieve in 250 years, you immediately slowed me right down to the pace of a tortoise.

Already it has taken me an inordinate amount of time just to type this.

Can I amend my wish?

Dear SOG,

Thanks for your kind words. You've got the knack
of cheering me up no matter what my problems are.
Your family's lucky!

Dear Hasbeen,

I don't think mum will live long enough to get
that famous letter from whoever's our Head of State.
And she too would probably not know who it's from
either. Still, were it to happen, I'm sure the
family would be thrilled with the honour being
bestowed. And we certainly would have it framed.

Dear worldwatcher,

I hope that you live to a grand old age - and
make many wonderful memories and magical moments along the way.