I think you should ban kebab shops myself. They are the reason people throw up in the early hours of the morning. It's nothing to do with the alcohol consumed.

Also I think Tequila is lethal. Every time my mate drinks it he throws up. He wont have it that the 12 pints he drunk before the tequila contributed to the problem in any way.

The funny thing is he still thinks it's a good idea to drink shots of the stuff, when his belly is too full after all that beer.

The larger issue is whether we need laws to protect idiots. I think it's a human rights issue. It's a fundamental human right to be an idiot.

Energy drinks are a problem as they don't give one enough energy to complete the requirements of being a 'tops' as in 'you're tops' person these days.

Soma is a commin'! Companies already sponsor drug use in providing coffee so their workers can work faster, but I think it would raise GDP if they provided Red Bull or even coke instead, like so many marketing departments do. The Colombian marching powder that is, not that drink that's got all the other chemicals in it but still uses the name coke.

I'm with you, Houellebecq.

>>I think you should ban kebab shops<<

The gumment should also ban all forms of alcohol, as it is known to cause every known personal disaster, from turning up at A&E on a Saturday night with burns from a game of Flaming Ar5eholes, to teenage pregnancy. (Hopefully, not simultaneously. That would not be a good look at all).

The list of what the gumment should ban forthwith is actually quite extensive. Smoking, obviously. Of any substance. Can't have people enjoying themselves.

And empty those beaches, immediately. Water is known to be dangerous. So are roads. Ban those... oh, wait, just ban cars, and insist that everyone uses public transport. Only not all at once, please - that would be daft.

Hang on though. Most accidents occur in the home, they tell us. Well, I hear you say, we can hardly ban people from their own homes, surely? All I can say to that is... think of the children.

http://www.rospa.com/homesafety/adviceandinformation/general/preventing-accidents.aspx

There are fifty-five warnings in this page alone. I reckon they should all be made law. Right now. Especially this one:

"Wear appropriate clothing and sturdy shoes when mowing the lawn and keep your feet and hands well away from the mower blades".

It would give new impetus to Neighbourhood Watch, dobbing in a neighbour who tries to sneak out and mow his lawn wearing an Ermenegildo Zegna suit and Crocs.

Yep, I think the gumment is far too lenient. There are tons of things they could ban, if they put their minds to it. A quick call to the EU, who have had decades of practice at this, should set them on the right track.

Do not be a spoil sport foot path pizza is an art form.

Jeez, how much caffeine do you have to drink to mask the effects of alchohol?
In my misspent youth we used to take amphetamines, stay up all friday night through to late saturday night then crash and sleep all Sunday, we'd drink a load of grog on top of it and though the speed held it off it caught up after a while and we'd suddenly find ourselves well and truly wrecked.
I've ben teeotal for a long time so I've no experience of these "energy drinks", they must be bloody strong.

I can assure you, I am no prude, however, I think the problem with energy drinks is that they target kids.

Now there is enough evidence to suggest they can be harmful and, despite all those saying we can't control idiots, they are kids. Full stop!

There must come a time when young lives are put ahead of profits.

"There must come a time when young lives are put ahead of profits."

Yeah you're right.

And those adverts about funeral insurance, jeezuz they're insidious crap.