Houlley
Or maybe impose a ban on single mothers - they are the devil's spawn according to our most strident masculinists and responsible for all societal woes. Much more economically viable just to ban women altogether just to offset any future risk of separation and the oncosts that will entail.

"Perhaps in my governmnet department I will have to have a standard 'degrees of seperation coefficient', but I suppose that should come out in the wash once we have finalised the MPEP."

You have a government department? You must be rich. As long as your 'degrees of separation coefficient' does not impact on the 'efficiency dividend' in anyway. That would be counterproductive. But a tight terms of reference would fix that in a jiff. Just make any flow-on effects invalid. They won't show up in the figures and it will look just spiffy - on paper anyway - even moreso if you outsource all your lower level APS to cheap labour hire organisations.

What is MPEP?
Monetary Penalties Enforcement Project
Manual of Patent Examining Procedure
2-Methyl-6-(phenylethynyl)pyridine
Military Personnel Exchange Program
Milk Processor Education Program
Metalworking Processes and Equipment Progra

pelican I consider you one of my key steak holders.

Pericles has just given me an idea on the VAW thread. I could create a cyclic sub-departments or 'task forces' that could generate the first genuine economic black hole.

What I'll do is inniitate an audit into what my department has cost the economy by the very act of working out the costs to the economy. Then, I will have a new department to audit the auditing department on how much the auditing department has cost the economy. Then a new department... and so on.

MPEP is 'Maimum potential economic production.'

BTW: I intend to only hire single mothers as an affirmitive action policy. I will allow them to work 10-2 so they can drop off and pick up kids from school, and pay for their degree as they work, and give them Monday-Thursday off to study and attent lectures. On Friday it wil be picnic day. In my female friendly picnic days we will have a talking stick, and only those who hold the talking stick will be allowed to talk. It will be worlds best practise for affirmitive action.

I have a friend in the public service and they sacrificed their picnic day for 3 minutes off each working day, so they now finish at 5:23PM (They got 3 minutes for sacrificing something else years ago, but nobody remembers what).

At the end of it all I will work out the opportunity cost of working out opportunity costs.

pelican I consider you one of my key steak holders.
Houllie ?
Can you be more specific ? Rime, rib, blade ? Only joking I'm sure you meant stake.
Sitting next to a young woman yesterday & she had one of those forms about management principles. I asked her if she knew about the Peter Principle. Of course she didn't.
Once we can wake people up & explain to them that the Peter Principle is the primary Principle in the Public Service then we might be in with a chance of getting Australia out the bog.
And, yes I had a colleague who spent over two days on the phone chasing up two hours pay while the patients were calling for assistance.
One of the Doctors actually cared about the hospital & he was shafted within a year. The Doctor who did nothing but chase up his entitlements became the medical Super.

'Only joking I'm sure you meant stake.'

Um, no.

You misunderestimate me individual.

http://elnellis.blogspot.com/2009/08/steak-holder.html

Is he letting them down or is he raising the steaks?

Anonymous said...
He's holdin' them...

I have long been a fan of steak holders. Small minds and all that...

So, no. You have the spelling wrong I'm afraid.

I always liked these OLO articles about the public service

http://www.onlineopinion.com.au/view.asp?article=7862

You'll like this one pelican...

http://www.onlineopinion.com.au/view.asp?article=10557

Memo To All Staff
From: The Secretary
Re: The Forking Project

As part of a new initiative, the Forking Project (TFP) is to be trialled for a one week period. All steak holders, otherwise known as forks, are to be rationalised due to budgetary considerations. We would like to advise that all forks now be shared to offset budgetary constraints and obligations under the government's Efficiency Dividend.

While one employee is masticating (chewing) another employee can use the fork to pick up their food, and then return it to the aforementioned employee, and so on. This can be achieved with a KPI of a 1:2 ratio.

With additional skills training provided by A. Rort Pty Ltd,the goal is to increase this KPI to a 1:3 ratio as follows: place meat in mouth, pass fork on, pick up meat place in mouth, pass to the 3rd steakholder, so his workflow does not impede the first stakeholder in that order.

This requires precision timing and coordination which will be discussed further at the next Forking Budgetary Task Force meeting which will also include proposals to present to the TFP external consultant Mr I.P. Daly who is oversighting the implementation and will provide a full report on outcomes and recommendations.

Please note demonstrated skills and team building KPIs for the TFP will be reflected in future Performance Appraisals.

All future redundant forks will be sold off at government auction or smelted into re-usable printer cartridges or video conferencing apparati.

Should you have any questions please approach your Forking Supervisor for more information.

How much did that cost the economy Pelican?