I love the 'to do' list. And the husbands 'pocket money'. They were a feature of all my friends households growing up.

Both are urban myths of course, as we all know marriage is the oppression of women to a life of financial dependence and domestic drudgery and violence.

'The trouble is we are all products of our socialisation and culture.'

Correction. Women are victim to 'societal expectations', men are an autonomous group of powerful people who make all the 'societal expectations'.

Dear Foxy ,
History is very useful as means of testing ideas and reality .
As a practical earth scientist, let me tell you history can be useful as science and yes its true that it suffers from the same limitations as any science ( fits the facts only so far ). You would be logically correct to say that i am game even arrogant ?, to say that I can see things happening in a laboratory as big as history - but the reality is i do and can. Why not others ?

Let me remind you again, and any who think science is the final refuge of all reality - I think they limit themselves. Science does not help solve some of these questions - you have to use assumptions beyond the superficial and the plainly proven . Whats proven anyway?

Revisionists, like reactionaries get there kicks out of being clever here and they get a big audience . I would rather move on from the safe circle and help us predict the future, rather than just react to it .

Dear Pelly,

I'm sure that most males and females aren't
really into "sharing," although as you point
out - the "to do list," might tempt some.

Dear Houellebecq,

Thank You for sharing.

Dear Hanrahan,

I'm not sure that "science is the final refuge of
all reality." I think that there are still gaps
in our understanding that science is not able to fill.
On the ultimate important questions of the meaning
and purpose of life and the nature of morality,
for example.

Suzeonline & Foxy,
In response to your questions I can only go by (hence the probably) what I have experienced over the years. I know of many, many couples who have strayed to where the grass was no greener. I reckon that humans are not all that much different when it comes to desires of any kind. The only real difference is that nature has blessed animals with "seasons" whilst human have been cursed with an "any time" need for the close company of the other sex. Look at a pride or herd or whatever & you'l find that the male is constantly defending his position over several females. There're many human males who would be beside themselves if societal pressure didn't prevent them from being with more than one female. Same goes for females.
Ok I might be way off but that's how I think it is. The only thing stopping us is that we have been conditioned for monogamy by closet polygamists.

Dear Individual,

Thanks for answering Suze's and my questions and
responding so quickly.

You could be right. Quite frankly, I don't know
what's natural for others. I suspect it's a case
of whatever floats your boat.

To some, marriage is founded on romantic love
between the partners and the choice of a mate is
left to the individual. To others marriage may be
regarded as a practical economic arrangement or
a matter of family alliances, not a love match.

Throughout history for example we have alliances
between entire societies that have been sealed by
marrying a prince of one royal family to a princess
of another. Earlier in this century, there's another
example, Ibn Saud, a local Arabian chieftain, married
over 300 women from various tribes, binding these
groups into the country now called Saudi Arabia.

And so it goes. To each his own.

Foxy, as a librarian you should have no problem having a look at a
book written by anthropologist Helen Fisher, called "Anatomy of
Love - The Natural History of Mating, Marriage and why we stray"

http://www.helenfisher.com/books.html

She has written various books, this one is the fourth one down.

Its very factual, examines various societies and periods in
history. Her view is that biologically we have a history of
serial monogomy, thus the 7 year itch. The notion of lifelong
monogomy only came about with the advent of the plow, agriculture
etc. That is really when men started treating women as possesions,
because it was when women started to depend on men for a living.

Pairbonding as its called in nature, occurs amongst many species,
in particular in those species where it takes more then one
individual, to provide the resources, to feed the offspring.

Anyhow, if you ever get to read it, let me know what you think.