Have you ever had to deal with bullying tactics
at work? Either from colleagues or your boss?
And how did you deal with it?

I'd be interested to hear from anyone who's had
this experience - especially in these difficult
economic times where leaving the job you have
may not be an option that's open for you.

Hearing how you solved things, may help
others stuck in a similiar situation, or worse.

Let's hear from you...

I had it in the 80s with my first job...

It was in the public service and a dirty old man kept asking me really off sexual questions in front of my peers, he was my boss. (Stuff like could he get sex with me if he payed ).

First I told him not to speak to me but for work, that didn't work, so then i told his boss and that didn't work, so I went one boss higher, to a lady (who I even was friends with outside work)and that too failed. So I quit my job.. It was in a small town, so I got to hear when the old arse died, and I had a really good laugh... Also one day he bough in holiday snaps and I saw a pic of his wife... and I just said "ohh no wonder" and the whole office cracked up... but yeh, I had to quit and my work output used to flux up an down according to when he was around...

Right now 20 odd years later I am dealing with a violent drunk as a neighbor...According to my landlords it's discrimination to not accept drunks, even when they are violent thugs. But to me it is discrimination to expect people to co exist (our flats have NO privacy) with a noxious condition such as a substance abuse and its imposing barrage of problems.

I think bullying sadly works all to well. People can't/won't fight it, as they have been usually been taught by the bully it will only make things worse.
Then people will accept censorship, domestic violence, bigotry and general unfairness around their rights

Dear meredith,

I'm so sorry that your boss turned out to be such a lech,
and that you couldn't find any help from anyone at work.
Being a small town would have made things really difficult.
You had no place else to go - except move out and leave,
which you did. Well done for that.

As far as your current living conditions are concerned,
I'm not sure if your landlord is right.
Have you spoken to any legal advisor about this?
Even the local police,
or the local legal-aid office?

I'd be seeking outside
advice because I don't think your landlord is being honest
with you. He/she is just palming you off.

Go further with it. No one should have to put up with
living conditions such as the ones you describe.

Hi Foxy,

I also wonder what the stats are regarding bullying in the workplace.

I had a job (which I am thankfully not at anymore) where my boss was positively evil. I know evil is a strong word but trust me - it fits. She was manipulative, lacked empathy, self-centered (it was always about her), and did not hesitate to play one person off against another. No, she was not a politician - she is a nurse. I think she thrived on the dysfunctional workplace she created.

I ended up finding a great book on Workplace Psychopaths and discovered that she in fact was one. The unfortunate part is that these psychopaths are everywhere in organizations. Upper management would not accept that this person was not who she made herself out be so in the end I left.

I always thought of myself as someone who would stand their ground and stare someone down who was doing the wrong thing - which I did for quite some time. But in the end - I was no match for this woman and my desire to keep my own sanity prevailed thus my exit. I think that is my biggest regret - that I was not able to expose her for what she really was. But in order to do that I would have to go down to her level and I was not able to become as devious, morally bankrupted and power hungry as her. For that I'm thankful.

I've enclosed this link for further info about workplace psychopaths. This guy is an expert on the topic and its really fascinating reading. http://www.drjohnclarke.com/seminars.html

How to deal with bullies at work? If you are over fifty and you know that it would be very difficult to find an other work, then simple close your mouth and try to live under these bad conditions. It is better bulling and humuliation than unemployeed...
If you are sole parent and your children need the money from your wage then close your mouth and wait to grow up your children.
If you are migrant and you know every where you will have the same buling and humuliation then close your mouth and stay where you are.
If you are very young or over sixty then realy you have no other choice than to accept the bulling and humuliation as part of your work.
I saw many employees,mainly migrants men or women crying of cause the bulling and humuliation, including me. most of them at the end broken mentaly and left their job, few of them may be never returned back to work.
In my workplace I think I am the only one who continues his work after many years of bulling and humuliation. The truth is that the factory where I am working changed owners three times, I am the only one from the first owner, (we was then about 35 employees).
There is no easy solution, usually the bullies are manager's dogs and they are going as group, as hienas, sub-bullies.
The union can not do many things because many union members are top bullies.
The employer can not do many things because the bullies are supported from the managment system, supervisors etc. Some times bullies are enough strong and employers try to avoid confrontation with them for a migrant or a woman.
What to do? may be you lose your job! Think your children, the rent, the bank, think ... try carefuly, slowoly, slowoly to isolate them. After 3-5 years the bullies lost the game and they lose their job or they resign!
They have no chanche to stay for long time in the same place but they make employee's life very hard.
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaide

Dear Tammy Jo,

I'd be interested in the statistics as well.

Your experience sounds dreadful. But don't regret leaving.
You saved your sanity by doing that.

I too had an awful situation at work a few years back.
I worked in a small Government Department and a fellow
worker made it her job to look and find any mistakes
that I made on a daily basis. I guess if you set your
goal in looking for something, sooner or later you're
going to find it. Then, she used to run to
my Department Head with them.
This went on for a few years. I did everything I could
to get on with this female - to win her over, but she
was immovable.

It ended up making me a mental wreck,
until I finally complained to the organisation's CEO
(I made the mistake of putting it in writing), nothing
was done. I ended up resigning, but could not get a
reference as a result of my complaint - nor could I ever
say that I had worked there - it meant that eight years
of my professional career could not be accounted for.

I learned from that to say nothing in future - simply
leave, if you can't take it. But don't 'burn your bridges,'
as I had done by complaining to someone about it. It only
works against you.

Sad, but true - at least in my case.

Dear Antonios,

Gosh, what a depressing picture you paint.

I know that factories used to have awful reputations
in the past, but I thought that things had changed
for the better. I guess I was wrong.

Some people's experiences here show up management's three wise monkeys defence when they're faced with problems in their organisations. See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil is their motto. It works well as far as their career aspirations are concerned too.

There was a time when I never really wondered why politicians and other senior bureaucrats pushed "good news" stories in the media so much. Now, after some years in the workplace, I've decided it's almost certainly because something smells in their feifdoms and they want to portray themselves as being part of the solution when the reality is anything but. Just positioning themselves ahead of the curve.

Don't know what's going to solve the problem overall - a huge paradigm shift I suspect.

It is posible even good persons, good characters to behave for a moment as bullies, not many years before I had a problem with a supervisor who was and is a good human, good character.
We was busy and we had problems with the colors. the time passed fast.
5,6,7 HOURS WITHOUGT LUNCH, ONE DAY BERFORE I WAS TO THE DOCTOR WITH STOMACH PROBLEMS, I HAD TO EAT OFTEN AND TAKE MY MEDICE AFTER THE FOOD.
One co-worker came to replace me to go for lunch but the supervisor said no Tony must stay here. This day I did not had lunch and I had a hard pain with my stomach.
Why the supervisor did not replace me for lunch? No one knows, under work press people behave very strange.
But I know this person is not a bullie, even if I suffered one day of cause him.
The real bullies are different as the one who pushed me to get out of the fabric yelding that he sucked me!
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaide

From experience I suggest that you commence a diary of events including context, people,date and TIMES just as if you were running a construction project and had to have records for negotiations of extras and variations at the completion of the project. Bound book in handwriting is best but entries in a diary are also excellent. Keep in chronological order and do not remove any pages no matter even if not significant. Everything could be significant.

When the time arises that the issue must be confronted do so. If you have to leave make the organisation pay for allowing the issue to continue (since you have records of who and when the issue was addressed in the time frame). But do not leave before confronting.

Make sure that you have a private copy of corporate HR policies and you will in most case have a situation of breach of contract.

Every success to those who take the time to make records that will stand up in court (even though that will not likely be necessary). Of course, keep control of your records at all time and only use to document rebuttals. They are your record for court. Protect them.

Dicko I am sorry but I do not understand you, may be of cause my poor english or different experiences. Can you be more spesific?
thanks
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaide

Antonios,

My comment was addressing the general topic "How to deal with Bullies at work", not any of the specific issues exemplified in the various threads of the discussion.

I can not be specific as to your particular examples. Sometimes a good old "Stuff you" works wonders though. My suggestion was for continuing harrassment.

Part one
One time my employer asked me why I do take them to the court, if I think that they discriminate against me?
My answer was that this is not simple a personal problem for the court, this a political problem!
I mean that many people have this problem, mainly migrants. We must change the law, we must change the behave angenst migrants in and out from the workplaces.
If we divide a problem in many pieces for each individual we weaken it but we strength our case if we join all individuals problems in one fight, if we convert a personal problem to a social problem, if convert Antonios's problem to migrant's problem, to worker's problem.
I am working to this direction and I have to tell publicly, VERY HOT THINGS WITH FULL EVIDENTS IN MY HANDS NOT ONLY FOR ME, NOT ONLY FOR MY WORKPLACE.
For example
1. Why the Child Support Agency did not stop to take money from me and send them overseas where my ex wife lived, when the children was with me in Australia? Why I had to take them to court? What kind support for the children is this?
2 Why it took about 100 days to renew the passport from my children and they blocked them for so long time overseas?
3. Why my son expeled from the school for something he did do and he could not do as he was (this time) miles far from the school on work experience? (I HAVE THEIR LETTERS VERY DETAILED..)
continue
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaide

4. Why they took me to the court because my children returning from school, (they was very new in Australia) was playing with a cat outside from the unit I rended and not the owner from the cat from the next unit?
5. Why the the social security traped me, first missinformed in writing about my childrens allowance like 'is reasensing' or -if you do not bring the form from taxation until the end of October, may be we stop it- and in the midlle from the October they informed me that they stoped the allowance three months before and I losed the right to appeal! Even after the Omdusman support even then they stoped the allowance for one from my son's because they lost the form!
WHY? WHY? WHY? MANY, MANY WHYis!
I have so many evidences in my hands from my workk and out from it, personal or from other people that will create good sense at least to migrants and overseas.
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaide

Dear Dicko,

Your advice about keeping records is excellent, because
often when asked for specific examples - you can't
remember precise times and events. It's far more
impressive if you're able to give exact details. It makes
your case far stronger and more credible.

Dear Antonios,

It sounds like you know what you're doing - and are
fully prepared for your day in court.

Good luck.

Dear Antonios,

It sounds like you know what you're doing .

I am sure he does.

The only difficulty you might have is the judge might know too.

I would suggested you do not shout in a display of bad manners as you have done on this forum.

Mind you we almost ended up in court according to you didnt we Antonios, when in a typical spat of Aussie Spirit I called you Tony.

You even threatend me. Well ASymeonakis, all I can say if your that thin skinned and a typical Aussie Nick name is used ( which we use in a Mate Endearing ) manner then i for one feel sorry for any boss around you.
Speaking of bullying..

"However" in this wonderful country that is not your land or your prfered style of living even you get a fair hearing. So lets look at you federal case shall we=

2 *Why it took about 100 days to renew the passport from my children and they blocked them for so long time overseas?*

Because thats how long it takes for everybody often longer

3. Why my son expeled from the school for something he did do ...

Because if your son was rightfully expelled as you have addmitted they did their job.

"However": If your saying they did not excersise due care of your son that is something different by law and you 'may have a case.

Depends on circumstances, age, did he have money for bus, transport.
Youm may them prove negligent in their duty of care to a minor.

I suggest you tell the judge. Your honor my son was only ( lets say14 years) of age and they made no enquires as to his safe passage to him place or residence.

Oh and dont shout at your honnor like you do on the forum at us.
I will look at your unit complaint next.

*4. Why they took me to the court because my children returning from school, (they was very new in Australia) was playing with a cat outside from the unit I rended and not the owner from the cat from the next unit?*

You don’t say if it was because they reported you, thinking you owned the cat, or is was a complaint about noise from kids-So we will cover both*.
If it was because they said you broke your lease by owning the cat – Yes there`s a case= See
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/12/04/2437426.htm
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23639919-2,00.html

Y

If it was a noisy child complaint they must give you warnings in writing.

If that isn’t addressed they proceed to court. There is something not adding up and reading between the lines if your rent was paid there may have been some bullying behaviour on the part of the real estate landlord.

If you get people off side they will use anything to get back at you. Could be you have a case there TBO. Would need more details.
I understand its been dealt with in court. However if it was because they said you ownded a pet it can be easily put back on the table I think RSPCA and the general public would both want and support that.
You seem to have got yourself into a fair share of cases and beefups and I cant help but wonder whose been picking up the tab. Centre Link dies make errors but arnt we lucky they dont discriminate between people. I could never go to your country and get welfare payments.
Somewhere Australia seems the best place on earth wouldnt you agree.

People Against Live Exports & Intensive Farming

I understand that my english is not enouph good and may be you do not understand what I mean but I found that you are not fair enouph with me.
For example you wrote
=2 *Why it took about 100 days to renew the passport from my children and they blocked them for so long time overseas?*

Because thats how long it takes for everybody often longer =

The truth is that to renew a passport takes less than two weeks, avarage about 8 days NOT 100 days or often longer as you write.
I rewnew my passport in three days.
It is meangless to answer to you point by point because I think you do not care for the truth or for justice.
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaid

ASymeonakis,

There may be cases where its been issued earlier but i can assure you it very often takes that long. Especially given the fact you pointed out the children had already been taken from Australia and sent back. Yours would not have been a straight foward matter. I am willing to bet on that.

I was very fair with my advise on your son and pointed out you may have a case depending on how you presented it. In law sadly a judge cant run a matter for you. In other words even if he sees a case he must rule on the action you took out.

I dont think its worth anymore ofmy time trying to explain to you that often justise isnt served because of lack of knowledge. From the little you said about our son I repeat its possible they failed in their duty of care. What I find interesting is ou said he was on work expereince.
That would refer back to a private company. I dont know the laws in that area well enough when dealing with a junoir but if you had a lawyer it seems to me you would have come under another area of commerial law and their obligations.
That if proven poosible could have led to a outof court settlement of a pay out.
Still its over now. I think the best we can all do in life is try to be grateful and teach our kids likewise. We live in the best country in the world. But no where is perfect and there is always bound to be problems. Thats life.

People Against Live Exports & Intensive Farming
Time Required to Get a Passport
Applying in Australia
The Australian Passport Office is committed to mailing out an eligible applicant's passport within ten working days of receiving all information and documentation we require.
http://www.passports.gov.au/Web/TimeRequired.aspx

You write from your fantasy about Australia and you have bad Idea about Australia
NO MADAM AUSTRALIA IS NOT AN AFRICAN COUNTRY, TEN DAYS FOR A PASSPORT NOT 100.
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaid