What’s your funny if terrifying experience
Mine goes back to my callow youth. As “a dedicated follower of fashion?” (Apologies to “Who”). I bought highway man suit (for the uninitiated frocked 6 buttoned DB coat with a 3peice collar that stood up at the back ) green suit (flairs) (somewhere between tree frog green and olive) and pale orange shirt and matching tie for a New Year party W/E at a stud farm. (Cool or what?) Today I recon I looked more like the vegetarian hero the Lone Asparagus rather than a dashing highwayman.

The next morning 25 horses were brought to ride as I had SOME experience I was allocated a huge (21hands plus) ex race horse called Proper John (PJ).
He was a cranky and uncooperative beast ….the others left I was to catch up…but the reason he had been retired was he had a trick knee when he galloped it went out and he stopped abruptly. Eventually we set off and the galloped…stopped but I didn’t ….gave new meaning to the term tossed salad.
Stubborn as usual I remounted and continued. But…someone had left the gate open to the in-season mares. PJ decided to start the NY with a bang…with me on top, of several 100kgs of amorous horses. By this stage I perhaps 4 meters of the ground terrified and screaming at the bloody horses to stop…no it didn’t work or make me feel better.
The others returning heard the noise came to investigate. Imagine 24 mainly girls in fits of laughter…I was latter blamed for several premature hilarity inspired soiled knickers.
The owner betweens tear of laughter came to my rescue.
They described me as a cross between a slice of honeydew melon and a sea sick octopus attempting to strangle the poor horsy ha ha ha ha etc..
I spent the rest of the weekend trying to pretend I was a miscoloured piece of rain tank mould. I've only riden a horse once since then. in a ridding school yard.
Guess what my nick name became

Dear examinator,

I remember this particular incident only too well.
It happened soon after my second son was born
and I had not lost all of my weight. My best
girlfriend took it upon herself to work out a regime
of bicycle exercises for me. She was determined that
I would get back to my original shape quickly.

It was the middle of winter - and my girlfriend was
to come to my home three times a week - and work out
with me on our lounge room floor.

On that first night, I had eaten a three-course meal,
and managed to squeeze into a tight fitting pantie-girdle,
over which I wore cullottes, (I wanted to look svelte).
But the reality was I was trussed up like a turkey. I
Cleared the furniture out of the lounge, and waited for
my friend to arrive.

On arrival my friend immediately go down to business.
Down on the floor she went, Feet high up in the air,
and proceeded with the bicycle exercises. Looked so easy.

Down on the floor I went, and hard as I tried, I couldn't
get my bum up off the floor, let alone my feet up in the air.
But, I didn't give up. Finally, with all my might, I heaved,
and up went my bum and legs,
and,
I farted.

My girlfriend, got up, calmly packed her stuff and left.
She thought I did it on purpose. She didn't speak to me
for a few days after that.

My husband, who heard my shrieks, came dashing into the room
to find my laughing hysterically on the floor.

I managed to lose my weight on my own, and I haven't regained
it since. My girlfriend still reminds me of that incident.
It was funny for me, but 'terrifying' for her at the time.
One of her favourite sayings is, "It's the early bird that
catches the worm." But I remind her that, "It's the second
mouse that gets the cheese!"

cont'd

Great story examinator - I would have loved to have
seen it.

As for your nickname...

The one that comes to mind is too rude to list here.

There was a particular experience which, while it didn't change my life too much, forever scarred my youngest son.

It was the middle of the day,kids at school, and I had just finished a paper I had been researching for weeks. So I rang my man up and told him to get his butt over.

Having been such a reclusive grouch for so long, I decided to make it special: Lots of candles, incense and me lying naked, with a glass of wine on the bed. The piece-de-resistance came when I remember a packet of stick-on jewels I'd got for a fancy dress party.

Being a "Brazialian" girl, I took some huge, flashy "diamonds" and "rubies" and stuck them in a pretty pattern on the appropriate part of my anatomy.

Hearing the screen door open I called out in a husky voice "I'm in here. In the bedroom!"

The door flew back...and there stood my 15year old son, sent home with a toothache!

We stared at each other in horror, like rabbits caught in the headlights, before he stumbled off down the passage moaning "Burn out my eyes!" "Burn out my eyes, quick!"

We do not EVER, refer to this episode.

Good grief Romany, I don't think I could top that one.

I dunno about terrifying, but I do have a somewhat mortifying experience to relate.

In my university days, before I knuckled down and actually took the studying part seriously, I was rather partial to a night out on the town (still am, actually).
I had a rule though - never miss the lectures. Even if I hadn't really studied as much as I should have, or if I'd barely slept, if I was physically capable of making it to the lecture theatre, I'd damn well be there.

There was one particularly extravagant night out, and I hadn't slept at all. Zip. Nada. As you can imagine, my body was yearning to hit the pillow, but damned if I'd miss my 8am lecture the next morning. I simply went home from, changed and showered, then went to the lecture without sleeping.

I struggled valiantly to stay awake, but in the end that was a losing battle. The thing is, when I woke, I had a series of unfortunate discoveries.

Cont'd.

The first was, that I had begun to slouch, so my feet slowly drifted underneath the chair in front of mine, and nudged the feet of the person in front of me. For some reason, when my foot hit theirs, I awoke with a yelp of sorts. I think they might have made a noise too (albeit less spectacular than mine).
Feeling somewhat disoriented (I usually find it hard to sleep, and had never woken in a manner that wasn't horizontal before) I made quite a noise. A good portion of the 300 or so people in the packed in the crowded albeit almost silent lecture theatre turned around, some with rather disapproving looks.
Some however, were smirking.

It was at this point, that I glanced around and noted that the people on either side of me weren't the ones I had been sitting next to originally. I then had that 'oh crap' feeling in my stomach.
In fact, the lecturer was different too. I'd slept through half of my lecture, then everyone had filed out as I snoozed away, and the entire lecture theatre filled up again.

So, my choice was... stay and put up with the shame and ignominy, or attempt to make a break for it, which would entail all manner of 'scuse mes' as I went for the door.

I stayed for five minutes then got the hell out of there.

After that, I always ensured I had a certain amount of sleep before going to lectures...

Dear Romany...can I buy the rights to that story of yours :)

yep.. I doubt any of us could even come close to that one.

Mine.. I've had 2 .. life changing in different ways.

1/ Octopus at Lunar Park.
I stupidly thought it didn't look to terrifying..and got on.. away it went.. round and round.. up and down.. UP and down.. UPPPPPP and down.. there I was.. in this silly container thing, and I found myself looking DOWN at the very top of the pole it was all attached to...and out on to Port Phillip bay southward and the Dandenongs northward... Oh.. myyyyy GOODness that was so beyond terrifying..

2/ Car accident. I recall driving from RAAF Richmond to North Rhyde to a laundromat on the Windsor road. Age.. early 20s. had done my old Cortina up with a lot of 'hot up' addons... spent megabucks on it... it was in short "my idol".. I recall saying to myself "Hmm... self.. if you lost all this your world would come crumlbing down".
On the way back.. u guessed it.. ploughed into the side of a truck and had a "slow mo" experience of twisted metal and flying bits and pieces..no seatbelt.. no damage to me.. unharmed but during the slo mo.. I remember saying "Well..it's as easy as that-life could be over"

This coincided with a period of searching about life and enabled me to reflect on things. Lack of transport and independance resulted in my following my room-mate (a bible basher) to a mini crusade they had going..and a coffee shop hang out place afterwards. Some very switched on Christians were there and I found some seriously honest answers (or lack thereof) to difficult questions.
My life has never been the same since.. the outcome was my asking Christ in to my life

Great topic, Examinator and such wonderful posts!
I half-covered my eyes reading Romany’s story!

My story is about why I stopped binge drinking.

At 16, I told my mother I was going to have an early night.
Once in my bedroom, I changed out of my night gear and into my favourite jeans and top. Woooohoooo- party time!

The previous day, a boy in my street had invited me to a party, as his parents were away overnight. I didn’t know him well, but that was no reason to turn down a party.
Since I wasn’t allowed to go out on weeknights, and living on the first story of an apartment building, I was grateful that I had the bedroom where the fire exit door was located. It gave me many opportunities to have fun nights out during the week.

So, as usual, I sneaked out and to my delight the party-host had purchased a large range of alcoholic drinks including ‘bessenjenever’, my favourite drink; sweet, berry flavoured, bright red in colour like undiluted cordial and with the same alcohol content as gin. It’s very easy to drink especially when you add some ice cubes to it.
There was some pressure to finish off all of the bottles because the host wanted to get rid of the evidence the next day before his parents would return home and since there was a lot to go through, we started playing some drinking games.

Even though I was a regular binge drinker, I drank more than usual and before I knew, I was feeling very sick.
I had great difficulty finding my way through their slant-floored, rotating living room to the toilet so it was to be the velvety, cream-coloured sofa. I watched the bright-red liquid spill all over it, and from the loud cheers and clapping in the background I gathered that the others watched it happen, too.

Continued...

I vaguely remember that some people from the party attempted to help me get home but none of us managed to get the key into the lock so someone decided to ring the doorbell, at which point they all disappeared.
My mother didn’t say a word while she watched me crawl all the way up the stairs and when I finally entered the house, she helped me to the loo where I vomited again.
My mother remained very kind and calm as she helped me have a shower and into my bed.

The next day I stayed home from school and had to confess what happened.
That night my mother took me to the party host’s house to see his parents and to talk about the damage I’d done.
Of course, I apologised to his parents and when they asked what I was going to do with the stain, I thought, ‘just cover it up with some cushions’ but I was wise enough to say that I’d pay for a professional cleaner.

The cleaner came, wasn’t able to remove the bright red stain, and so it was decided that the party host and I both would pay for re-upholstery for the 3-seater and the 2 chairs to match since he had thrown the party without permission. We only had a Saturday job so it took us a while to pay for it.

However, neither paying for the damage I did nor the intoxication and hangover were the reason I gave up binge drinking.
The reason was the sad and worried look on my mother’s face as she stood at the top of the stairs watching me crawl, and her kindness when she helped me shower and get into bed.

For the first time I realised that I was being a selfish brat- my mother had to raise my two younger brothers and me by herself since my dad had died when I was 13 and for the first time it occurred to me that I had to help her rather than make her worry about me.

Again, another interesting thread.
With great stories...some very funny (Romany's),
some very moving (Celivia's).

In my student days I worked in a small office with
my desk facing the door, through which I had a full view
of the corridor and the lifts.

It was on a Friday evening,
I was working back late when I noticed a young man with
his back to me standing outside the lifts in the corridor.

Suddenly, he turned and ... good grief, I saw what he was doing.
Instead of being scared I was fascinated. All I could think
of was... his genitals are the same colour as his
face, bright pink. Then I realized that I was alone in the
office, so sanity crept back, and I called security.

I had to try to explain to a Spanish-speaking security guard
(with limited English) what was happening in front of me.
Before I could finish the sentence, including gesticulating,
and trying to explain to the guard (on the phone), what
was happening, the security guard came
tearing into my office - Of course by this
time the 'flasher,' had disappeared down the corridor.
I asked the security guard to check the various floors,
in case there were other people in the building that this
guy could scare.

Foxy
You are a naughtier girl than I imagined, given my over active imagination that says a lot! Flashers are rarely (if ever)attackers, they get their jollies from your shocked reaction the best. I can see though how this may have been a little frightening Response I've heard of was a fellow lifeliner when facing the flasher was reputed to have said looking concerned at his bits "I'm an ex nurse, how long have you had THOSE symptoms?" They left him examining his bits then he ran off presumably to the Dr.

Romany,
I couldn't get past the image of the jewels...what happend next? ;-) Truly Hilarious but oh so embarasing I winced for you. Did it cost you much for the shrink for your son? Childern can't concieve of their parents being sexual beings. One wonders how and where they think they came from...I do hate cabbage leaves it engenders foxy's embarrasement.

TRTL
Yes, but did you pass BOTH topics?

Celivia
Good grief I'm beginning to wonder at the propriety of some of the ladies on this site. Mmmm I wonder if i could learn something here?
Hehehe :-)

Dear examinator,

"The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas.
The road was a ribbon of moonlight, over the purple moor,
And the highwayman came riding...
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.

He'd a French cocked-hat on his forehead,
A bunch of lace at his chin,
A coat of the claret velvet,
And breeches of brown doe-skin;
They fitted with never a wrinkle;
His boots were up to the thigh,
And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
His pistol butts a-twinkle,
His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky..."
Alfred Noyes.

This is in rememberance of your awesome New Year's
Eve, so many years ago... Thanks for sharing the story with us,
and for this thread - and your advice about the 'flasher.'
Although I must admit I was more mesmerized, than scared.

Great idea examinator.

Nudity always seems to feature in our most embarrassing moments doesn't it. I had such an experience when diving off the high diving board I proceeded to lose not only my bikini bottoms as one might expect, but the top as well.

The water was a very clear crystal blue *blush*. It took a while to salvage both recalcitrant items of clothing, but finally red faced I managed to muster some dignity putting them back on and then pretending nothing happened, swam about 15 laps hoping that by the time I finished most people would have left or forgotten about the whole incident.

Been some very brave people posting here.
And some cowards who will not tell it like it was.
Hugely funny and interesting the females have shown courage.
I said will I or won't I half a dozen times but here go,s.
Young Belly dressed in his westy jeans every Friday or Saturday and headed for the sound lounge in Parramatta Sydney.
Levis or those pegged and expensive ones I can no longer remember the name of bleached to look faded, some one remind me of the name, please.
But I found an even more expensive pair, really expensive.
Mates at my bedroom door I had to show them of as I slipped into them.
The zipper was a spring, big spring!
Much pain and ten minutes with the scissors my new jeans became a car rag and my mates?
they had a great night I did not.

Hmmm....I've given the later life one of mine... but I've also got one like Celivia's...that did'nt come to mind because it was not that huge in the big scheme of things.

In my 'carnal' days, at around 16, and in the RAAF, some fellow apprentices were having a binge booze up on one room. I came along and wondered what Woodleys Cherry tasted like.. sip... sip.. mouthful.. mmmm not bad.. quite sweet. I gulped it down...probably a whole bottle, and then it started to hit me.
I wandered off, back to my room feeling abit queezy.. I managed to get my gear off, and lay down to sleep.. (middle of summer) starkers. But the feeling of my head going down, and my feet going up and the contents of my stomach taking the line of least resistance.. persuaded me that I needed to get up and try at least to make it outside.

I ended up chucking at the corner of each barracks..starkers... and when nothing more would come out... went back to bed.

If it was life changing, it taught me "Drinking to excess is not good"
I was only drunk once after that.. on the way home from a bucks party with my head hanging out the car window and spreading 'good and colorful tidings' to any poor sucker who passed the other way.

That was the old me :) the new me began with the previous story/post.

Celivia.. u were a rascal weren't u :)

I think poly every teenager in the world learnt that lesson,in my case many times.
If only we could get them to learn from our mistakes.
Little known fact my former workmates on the roads hate the period ahead.
Christmas almost all ways brings road trauma and death as happy holiday makers drink and drive.
Having to investigate a death on a road inside a workplace this week has taken the shine of a lot for me.
I hope we all make it to the new year.
I will drink but not ever drive until the next day we all should always.