Is it healthy to be here on the Forum?
I believe the Forum has been designed for a good exchange of ideas/and thought. To uplift ourselves and others.
To be a halcyon Spring corner... yet I come here, then I go away, and come back and many authors seem to be still at the old "poke the other guy in the chest" thing.
Im aggro-ed by it all... by writing here and by the aggro of others.
Do you feel the same?
All over Australia there are Your Say style columns that really only offer the bitter and the angry a chance to attack others.
Is this good for our health? Does it really download whats within?
What might be done to lessen the conflict?
I remember back in the 70's I had an old 1942 war loan Australia (WLA) side-valve 750cc Harley Davidson with a hand gear change and a foot clutch and on Spring afternoons, they were so beautiful in suburban Sydney in those days, with the smell of the freesias in the air, I would push the old girl up the side of the house and out onto the footpath. Switch on...a quick tickle of the carb and hefty kick and off I would ride into the "mists and hazy days" of a bygone era (Harleys are like that).
Id like the Forum to be like that.

I have experienced some pretty nasty things during my life, and unfortunately my children had to experience some of them alongside me. But, as an antidote to this I always ensured that they keep in mind the kindness of strangers. For it is not an exaggeration to say that there have been times we would not have got through without random acts of kindness from total strangers.

As my kids get older I am always relieved to hear that whenever they talk about our joint lives, it was never the negatives that impelled their stories but tales of the mind-boggling goodness of people. Nothing I had ever been through had ever disabused me of the belief that people are, on the whole, good and kind and generous and concerned. My kids have always kept faith in humanity even though they have had every reason to feel bitter or afraid.

But I admit that OLO forums changed my thinking a lot. There is a nasty side to so many people that I had never guessed existed before. I still read some posts in disbelief that anyone could find justification of any kind whatsoever in the comments that are made.

When I was coming back to Australia on leave a few months ago I realised that this had changed me to the extent that I was actually nervous, and was intimidated into silence by shopkeepers, travelling companions and others. When I did meet unnecessary rudeness by busdrivers etc. I cut my leave short and went scuttling over to Thailand to be bathed in kindness again.

So, is it good for us? Well I am unsure. Perhaps it was time I grew up a little. At least now I understand why, despite my adventures, people have always called me naive. Perhaps my future lies in first world countries and so this is a preparation for that.

Lately though, some lively, intelligent and fair-minded people have had an impact and I have learned a lot. Kind strangers, it seems, are still around.

Romany, people tend to be rude when they are incognito as on OLO. I try to be courteous in the few posts that I make although perhaps a tad sarcastic, but nothing I would not say face to face with anyone I disagreed with. When people feel insulated, in the same way as perhaps in cars, their reserve and politeness leaves them. They feel protected.

Then does that mean that people are innately rude and, well, the childhood word "mean" come to mind? That kindness and courtesy are simply a societal construct imposed upon people against their nature?

Tribal groups and small village communities tend to disprove this, though. Even if this only happens when people are crowded together in large groups such as cities then it still doesn't argue innateness, it would have to be a learned behaviour, surely?

It is the belief that humankind is innately bad that always led me to denounce certain philosophies. My whole outlook on life would suffer if I really became convinced it were so.

I think one reason things get nasty sometimes is that people feel motivated to comment on an issue they feel strongly about. The controversial topics always attract the most comments, and people have strong opinions on a topic before they've even read the argument.
I sometimes doubt people have read the post before they comment.

Some people seem to simply enjoy a bit of aggro, some rarely have anything nice to say, some introduce their pet concern into every thread either out of ignorance or because they're inconsiderate. Like Romany I find this gets to me after a while so I take a break from reading. There are plenty of other discussions going on around the internet when you tired of scrolling past the nasties.

On the other hand, look at what happens when something truly awful happens to one of the regulars. Foxy's last thread for example. Old animosities get buried and you see the positive side of human nature. People who've never met rally around and offer support for one another. People who, for whatever reason, don't have much social support in their lives can find a sense of community here which, let's face it, isn't a lot more dysfunctional than any other.

Yes, Romany, I don't think you can take the rough and tumble here as an indicator of human nature.

There are many things to consider - people with harsh views that have been condemned by society are more likely to congregate in a place where they can unload their vitriol without being judged as another more than a moniker.

This means there will be a disproportionate number of people with views that aren't really judged as acceptable by wider society.
That was one of the reasons why the threads devoted to what exactly this thing 'politically correct' actually means, and why so many people here have issues there (note, I'm not saying political correctness doesn't have issues, but somehow I think most of us get through each day without worrying about it just fine, and don't have such bitterness about it - some people however...).

As Chainsmoker pointed out, often it's just passionate views, and seeing as people can express themselves with few or no repercussions, their passions are likely to get the better of them.

This doesn't mean those people are likely to be the same in the real world - we tend to think that people's true selves are revealed when they don't have things like expectations or self consciousness placed on them. These two things however, are as much a part of people as the desires repressed by them, and I don't think you can take the most extreme elements of human nature, remove the constraints on people, then assume the new, more extreme individual is somehow more of a reflection of that person's new self.

I've been known to get a little flustered with the repetitive negativity of some posters, but I know they're not a real reflection of society.

A simple thing like politeness and respecting others is as much a part of a person as their angry side, and outside these forums, that politeness is much more common.

So I think your view of the world is right Romany, and I share it.

I think that some of the people who regularly post some of the nastiest and hateful comments here are those who, in real life, wouldn't say boo to a goose. That is, they utilise this forum to give voice to ideas and sentiments that they can't where they are identifiable and are likely to be held to account for what they say.

While this aspect certainly doesn't enhance the quality of discussions here, I suppose it could be argued that this is a useful function in some ways. Firstly, it's probably quite therapeutic for the racists, misogynists, homophobes, Islamophobes etc to get their suppressed hatred off their chests. Secondly, it's useful for the rest of us to know the depths of hatred out there in the community.

Guys, dunno how Gibo feels now, but I have to say that I feel somewhat reassured.

I have put another spin on things after reading your posts.

Thank you.

For a time I was wishing that this thread had appeared before I went on leave so I hadn't been wimped out by two bus-drivers and a newsagent and had, instead, realised how dumb I was being to let three people out of a total of over 20mill affect me.

But then, if I hadn't gone to Thailand I would have missed out on yet another one of life's all-time wonderful experiences and brought home yet another incredible story of the kindness of strangers from there.

ps Didja see that? I just referred to China as "home"? Woa.

Romany and Gibo et al

Take heart. While not perfect, humans are capable of great kindness and compassion. People are inherently good and you only have to look at the way we rally around and help out during natural disasters and other hardships.

Sometimes it takes simple acts of kindness at the local level to restore our faith in human nature. A while ago the families at our local school pulled together for a family faced with a personal tragedy and the support and care offered was heartwarming and life affirming. This is just one example, there are many other examples which I am sure we have all experienced at one time or another.

Yes it's twee but don't you love this saying - "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty" which was used as the basis for the film Pay it Forward (the plot was pure American formula but it did tweak the heartstrings).

OLO is a forum it is not real life and as others have said not to be taken too seriously. Some subjects will always stir the passions, I guess in this way it is like real life and the cloak of anonymity may bring out the brute in some but not most.

Pelican - ran out of posts on the other thread so couldn't reply to you there. But hey to you.

Thanks for the "Random acts.." quote. I have written it down and posted it on my computer next to a vase of flowers - sadly past their prime - which represents the senseless act of buying roses the other day instead of lunch.