If you read my first posting, you'd be familiar with my plight as regards my son. Well, here's the latest - the school he attends has allowed me to remove my son at recess and lunch, effectively preventing him from harm. Although a remedy, in itself it is not the best solution. It prevents him from having any social contact outside of the classroom. I want to work with the school, but again, they are not being co-operative.

I have now proven my point, that with adequate supervision, my son is safe from harm. How am I to explain to him that he is being isolated and in fact ostracised for having legitimate medical problems and recognized mental illness? Where do I go for help?

The school psychologist says this is not a solution, I say this is not a solution, the principal says I'm not rational and not sensible, that I am overreacting. Is it overreacting to want to keep both your child and the school safe? Am I irrational for caring?

I am actively persuing a letter writing campaign to anyone and everyone for help. Anyone have any ideas on contacts I could try or arguments to use in my letters? All ideas welcome.

katheedavis

It is a can of worms that the Education Dept won't touch.A parent supervising their own child at school would probably have legal ramifications whereby they could be sued.Our institutions are camatose with fear and won't make decisions outside the shadow of litigation.

Then we have the issues of the responsibilities of schools as being institutions that cater for children with medical disorders whether they be mental or physical.If one child gets one to one care,then the rest of the children at the school are entitled to that care.Who is going to pay?
What are the primary functions of schools?Literacy standards have fallen dramatically.Can schools be all things to everyone?

Why did we close our mental institutions and not put the money into community care of the mentally ill?They are the most neglected people in our community.

Good luck Kathee,you'll get ignored on this one because it is in the too hard basket.

Kathee Davis - Hi.

All schools - whether public or private have a common law 'duty of care' to consider regarding their charges (students/pupils/teachers/staff) when they are on that school's property.

In Darwin recently, a young lad later died in hospital after a large tree branch fell on him at his school. As I understand it the 'church' school has now been forgiven by the parents of that boy, which suggests they have absolved the church of any responsibility.

If your child is being bullied, whatever, the school has the onus of providing all measures that constitute 'duty of care' to your son, and ultimately to the school community at large to prevent any harm coming to any person on their property. They may well have had advice which construes that 'care' as removing your child from their property, - sounds like a cop out to me though.

This is why we pay taxes to supply funds to allow our children's attendance at public schools for those parents without the means to send their kids off to private schooling.

Certainly write to the Ombudsman's office, outlining your treatment and any documentary evidence from the school itself. Also write to the relevant Dept of Education Minister detailing the issues, and certainly get some good legal advice.

Obviously going to Channel 'X' and airing your greivances there may get some quicker action.

Hope that was of assistance.

Best of luck...Albie.

katheedavis. Hang on to your hat if you want to take on the Department of Education. They have the process set up so that you go around in circles and the persons who process your complaints are the ones that you allege are responsbile and the more that happens to you and the more that you complain the more reason that they have to discredit you and present you as vexatious, pushy and a trouble maker. You become their target.

I tried what you were trying in relation to my son (Catholic School) and requested whether I could attend at recess and lunchtime to help them supervise the playground. My son is on the other side, the side that found the ADHD child so unpredictable and often so aggressive that he was scared to death at school and the lack of action by teachers made him believe that they were not on his side. My son says that there are not enough teachers on playground duty and the ones that are on often don’t want to be there and really don’t care. They refused to allow me to come to watch over my son due to legal issues. I think that they just didn't want us to see just how bad things were.

On medical advice we ended up putting our son on Distance Education for a year on psychological and medical grounds as he became very anxious, depressed and sick. He worked from home and recently he has returned to school. He is 8. He is now in a public school that is much better with discipline and attitude and all is going well.

Maybe you need to pull your child out of school for a while, put him on Distance Education, get him to get his head together and then return to a new school where all 'that stuff' is behind him. I think sometimes kids need a break, school does not suit ADHD children at all and trying to make them fit often makes them worse.

Jolanda..you are soo right, my experience with my childrens school..I must say though a call to head office pulled them up short, but then I guess it too does depend on the issue at hand..

They do want to brand you as a pushy troublemaker, then they are not forced to take you seriuosly and you are dismissed..

I say save yourself the grief, unless you are immune to assaults on your nervous system and and attacks on your character and credibility as a mother.

The education dept is a joke and I give them no due respect at all.

They cover each others arses no matter how small the perceived infringement which makes it impossible to get anywhere with them
I found I had to go to the top..district office 1st and if no joy there, the top.We all answer to someone..you could always threaten to bring negative publicity to their school and go to ACA or Today Tonight..they will make them sit up, but you will bear the brunt of it.

But hold on tight.I would absolutely home school my son, the kindest option for you both..he of all pple doeasnt need the stress and you dont either.I was homeschooled for about 5yrs, it was wonderful.
Now he can join his classmates via the internet...All is not lost..just try a different approach.
Enlist the help of family and friends also and build up your support network during this.

Thank you all for your comments.

Taurus, I have already been on ACA, and in both local and state papers. Nothing much came of this, and it was only when I stood outside the school with a sign that said the school was not helping us that they stood up and took notice.

I must say here, that they think by giving in a bit I'll go away. That is not the case. I am in this for the long haul, and I don't give in easily. I am tougher than they think.

The top of the education dept sounds like a plan...regional directors don't have to open mail it seems! Keep the suggestions coming...nothing is in the too hard basket for me at this point - I just need ideas on where to go from here.

katheedavis

katheedavis. Are you in NSW? Because if you are I think that the only way to make changes is to try to get rid of the Labor State Governnment. With my families complaints, my children even protested outside the Department of Education, the Shadow Education Minister have said that they dont have the jurisdiction or power to do anything to help. The State Labor Party, well they are ignoring us and protecting and looking after thier own reptuation - at any cost.

So, I told the Department of Education that if they havent properly and fairly addressed my families complaints, allegations and concerns that just before the next State election I am going on a hunger strike outside Morris Iemmas Office in protest and with the aim of trying to get them to loose enough votes to get rid of them. Maybe you could join me?

The history of my families complaints against the Department of Education are here http://jolandachallita.typepad.com/education/

Extreme situations require extreme measures.

Where to now? you ask Katheedavis..I think you should get a life and stop using your son as an excuse to carry on your own personal power struggle with the school..

It stops being anything to do with your son when a person adopts this degree of zealousness and becomes blind to the personal and deep unhappiness this day to day madness has on his life..

Your tough you say and youll never give up..can you hear yourself here?Its not about your son..its about you.
You are doing real harm to your boy..he needs a mother who is healthy whole and at peace..he is already 14..gone in a couple of years and then where will you and your fight with the school be with noone to fight over.

You need to give up this OBSESSION its gone too far, youve forgotten the most important person here..your son.
There are none so blind as he who will not see...cliche sorry, but apt.

You didnt answer the question about home school.Its a fantastic option and as he is almost finished school soon anyway.If the reasons a 2nd job..find a way..he is more important.

While you were busy fighting 'city hall' you were losing your son..not what Id want.

taurus29. You seem to think that Katheedavis's son does not want his mother to persue this. If he is anything like my children they EXPECT me to fight for their right to be treated fairly and to be heard. To do otherwise would be to fail in our duty of care!!

They also dont want other children to be dealt with the same way.

If the parents dont protect the children and fight for their rights, then who will?

Taurus, thankyou for your viewpoint. With respect to home schooling - we have looked at this option for our son, but his words were: "Who am I supposed to talk to if I have to stay home? School is a big part of my social life!" It is my son's wish that he remain at school, and he accepts that this may be his only way of doing this. Whilst I in no way condone the trouble he has been in, I am also aware of the unique combination of problems that he has to deal with every day of his life, and thus do we.

Yes I feel as if I have to battle the establishment. He has three years of high school left and it will be a struggle for him, made harder by the fact that his school, which has a duty of care to him, seems unable to do just that, care for him. I need to fight for his rights that are being ignored, and if it involves seeming zealous, so be it. Before all this began, I had a quiet life, something I intend to go back to when the situation has been satisfactorily resolved. I don't believe that anyone should have to live with the stress of something like this (oh, by the way, I have managed to shield my son from a bulk of the battle. Although he is aware of what is happening, I have made it quite clear that this is MY battle, not his).

I appreciate your view and want to let you know I have a life! In fact, my other children will attest to this. As for it being a matter of a second job - I wish. Nothing will change if no one stands up and demands that it change...or writes a few letters.

Indeed Yolanda, as a parent it is our duty to fight for our children, whatever it takes. And Yolanda - you are a gem. Don't change.

katheedavis

katheedavis. You know in a way it is about us. It is about us refusing to absolve the Department of responsibility.

My older children also do not want to be home-schooled, the environment is not stimulating enough. They would probably have chosen to stay home if I was more capable and enthusiastic in the education department (depending on which school they were at), but it really an area where I do not do well. They are popular with their peers and are competitive in sport. At this stage they would rather be at school with their friends and involved in getting to and from school than sitting at home on their own or with me. They accept that they are doing time.

I say that if the Education Department is not going to take any responsibility for the education and care of our children then they should return to us the taxes that we pay that goes towards our child’s school education so that we can then choose to give our children the option to home-school and get a private a tutor or send them to a better school.

In the Education Act it says that education is the prime responsibility of the parent. Parents need to fight for their children’s right to an appropriate education delivered in a safe and caring environment. AT the moment they are wasting our money and much of our children’s time

Yes Kathee Im sure Yolanda is 'a gem' if she tells you what you want to hear.
But the most valuable advice is the advice noone is willing to tell you because they are genuinely trying to help and not worried about falling out of favour with you..they are called yes men.

You stand outside your sons school with placards ...do you consider that to be normal and rational behaviour?
This is way out of whack..you embarrass your son at HIS school in front of HIS peer group and then wonder WHY IN THE HECK hes having problems at school.?, Your son is the one who is in personal turmoil here..1st due to his 'mental illnes' as you put it and secondly the hormonal effects of being a teenager and then you ,his mother .being generally known at school as a whacko(you said the principal said you were unbalanced and irrational)..how can that be helping his cause?his peace of mind?

He has only a couple of years at school..so let him be in peace..back off..if you dont WANT to home school hima nd take the responsibilty for yourself..then leave him be.

I think you have blown this out of all proportion..it doesnt need to be this crazy.

Be at peace with yourself and you might find this has very positive flow on effects for your son.

Calm begets calm.

Im not saying you do not love your son very much..but at some point we have to say..'Am i getting anywhere?..is this doing more harm to my son than good?..Is this fight worth this much grief?..'

Seems to me you are not really looking for solutions here but 'permission' to validate what your already doing?There have been some excellent suggestions here..one of the best from Yolanda and myself about home schooling..he will not be socially harmed by a couple of years schooling thru a different medium..it is a very satisfying experience..he can home schoolmost of the time and 'slot in' to his favourite passtimes or activities at school..to be worked out with teachers etc..keep them on side it could be important.

Im just really pleased that your son is only a couple of years away from leaving home and being able to 'escape' the nuerotically controlled enviroment hes been forced to live in.

You have the typical frustrations that all controlling people have when they cant get others to bend to their will..
The fact, your son is now 14 yrs of age you STILL go on about a non issue like this, I can only breathe a deep sigh of relief for him that its almost over.