Possibly the reason some people express such outpourings of grief for Michael Jackson or Princess Di who they really did not know as a person that they were so constricted that they could not express their grief when someone close to them died.

Expressing grief as part of a crowd makes it acceptable as it is no longer an individual feeling. Just as a mob can commit an atrocity such as lynching that most individuals would not do alone so the mob howling at the passing of Michael Jackson or Princess Di are doing something they could not do alone.

It is a reflection of the fact that many can only express feelings as part of a group. Individually in some cultures emotion must be suppressed. Dionysus rules the mob.

David, I'm sure you are right - there is a relaxation of inhibitions if everyone else is showing grief. Also, grieving can be infectious. I went to a friend's grandfather's funeral, and cried, even though I had never met his grandfather, just because my friend and his family were so visibly upset.

According to the media and family members of any deceased person the deceased is always a the best person who ever lived after they have died.

I wait, probably in vain, for friends, relatives and the media to admit that a dead person was a complete arsehole when they announce the death.

Dear Leigh,

Why announce that the dead is a complete arsehole? He can rectum no more. He has been rectified.

Good article. Like Legal Eagle, I am decidedly underwhelmed by so-called 'celebrities' while they're alive, and even less so when they're dead.

Leigh: << I wait, probably in vain, for friends, relatives and the media to admit that a dead person was a complete arsehole when they announce the death. >>

You're undoubtedly correct, old son - it's unlikely to happen until after your demise, which means you won't hear about it.

David and Legal I think it's a bit more than that. A friend sent me the following this morning:

I had an epiphany a few years ago where I was out at a celebrity party and it suddenly dawned on me that I had yet to meet a celebrity who is as smart and interesting as any of my friends.
Moby, quoted on CNN.com, March 2005

In order to dig out the joy of being close to those friends, you need to exert effort, exercise the pink matter of emotional intelligence and interact. The biological ties work much the same way.

People watch the nightly television because they come home to a set of characters that are predictable, non threatening and calculated to be more interesting than real people. Celebrities provide much the same fodder - think through their carefully publicised personas.

It's rather sad that we have a population whose emotions are now increasingly driven by the media machine.

And at the risk of sounding loopy, let's look at the relationships between this and obesity, the incidence of autism, declining language expertise, family crisis and a host of modern social phenomena - not all of them bad.

Is the Fourth Estate staging an emotional coup?

its just what the australian goverment done with all of us forgotten australian victims

they want us to rot and die without anyone knowing our truth of what we suffered , so i maybe just up their with them all soon , i just hope the forgotten australians continue the plight for justice if i am not here on this planet no longer

just because people are famous they forget about the unfortunate ones

as our australian goverment has done . see you all in heaven

huffnpuff

"Possibly the reason some people express such outpourings of grief for Michael Jackson or Princess Di who they really did not know as a person that they were so constricted that they could not express their grief when someone close to them died."

I think why people experience such grief at the death of someone they didn't know personally, is because in our experience it is as though we *did* know them personally. That's how I felt about Michael Jackson. I surprised myself by crying with sadness when I learnt he had died. I am 48 and haven't cried for years, but here I was with very strong feelings of genuine grief and loss.

When I was the age Michael Jackson fronted the Jackson 5, I was ill for a while and listened over and over again to a tape of them playing ABC, I Want you Back, and others. That was a high point of groovy. Not many would deny that. Very groovy it was. Now all that music entered my soul, and I am very sad, struck that the life that made those sounds is gone.

I felt personally sad when George Harrison died too, because I felt from my closeness to the Beatles music that he was a friend too.

So I think this is natural and does not reflect poorly on one's ability to feel for those who are close.

Excellent post. My feelings exactly on the matter, maybe with the exception of Elvis (but that's just me).

It is a tragedy whenever someone dies before fulfilling their God given destiny. The sad part about Michael Jackson's death is that so many people are sad for the wrong reasons. He now will face His Maker like everyone of us. The sad part is that leeches will continue to feed on this unfortunate creatures life and the public will be dumb enough to pay for it.

I think that generally, people are reluctant to speak ill of the dead for superstitious reasons or just matters of good taste.

Some cultures travel home from funerals in a round-about way (so the spirits can't follow home them easily), or cover all the mirrors in the house (so the dead can't see them from "the other side") or never mention their names again (in case it calls the departed spirit back) or several other customs.

In the case of the deceased being somebody you knew personally then it's probably a matter of preserving the dignity of their memory but in Michael Jackson's case it's more a matter of mob hysteria.

Maybe the prevalence of related jokes is a way of challenging the relentless media frenzy which really is going over-the-top.

It's like that Chaser song from last year said - about "everybody's a top bloke after they're dead".

I don't blame people for shedding a tear or two after hearing of a celebrity death. Just after my daughter was born, I read of a young Melbourne mother killed in a car accident, and although I didn’t know the woman at all, I bawled after reading the article. She wasn't a celebrity - but the point remains - you don’t have to know the person to feel empathy for them, or the family they have left behind.

It's just the sheer over the top nature of the grieving that gives me the irrits.

Although I notice the press are taking the gloves off now (didn't take long). I'm not a fan of nastiness, whether one is talking of a person when they are alive or dead. For example, Jackson was a flawed and damaged person in many respects, and I think that has to be acknowledged. But now all the dirt is coming out in a way that is almost gloating.

I suppose I'm for moderation in all things - don't paint the man better than he was, don't just focus on the bad stuff either.

Re Baxter Sin's point about "relationships" with celebrities being an easy option - I think there's definitely something in that. I wrote a post about a Japanese man who started a petition to allow marriages with manga characters: http://skepticlawyer.com.au/2008/10/only-in-japan/. An amazing number of people signed it.

Clearly, that man formed a "relationship" with a cartoon character because she is predictable, non-threatening and physically perfect, with none of the difficulties which arise in REAL relationships, because let's face it, she can't argue back, squeeze the toothpaste in the middle or have bad hair days.

As Baxter says, real relationships require interaction from both sides, and effort to make them work.

'So to see the press crying crocodile tears over Jackson’s death is repellent.'

Whilst I hear your plea, please do not forget the first rule of media - bring in income. Media is simply providing fodder and succour to the outpourings of grief from the public. But these are not the general public. These are humans whose spirit and sense of belonging have been deeply touched by aligning themselves to Jackson's lyrics, early life experience or both. This is why you and I are others are disassociated to this outpouring. We have not been touched as others have (no pun intended).

There are similarities between the outpouring of grief for Diana and Jackson. Both were perceived by their adorators that they were estranged from a supporting family, they made their own way in the world, they took on what others found repellent (Diana - land mines and their effect; Jackson - racial issues).

There are those that find solace and safety in befriending a celebrity instead of a person. A celebrity can never disappoint, are always glamorous, and are always at a distance.

I will be 49 in November. Both Princess Diana and Michael Jackson were in my age-range. When each died before their time, I was shocked, but not surprised. Celebrity life-style of fast cars, drugs and eating disorders, to name a few issues associated with the pressure of fame, does put them at more risk than me. When someone around your age dies, it does make you think, and in a way feel fortunate that it was not you. It gives you a sense of your own mortality. I knew of their failings. I also knew of their achievements. This was because I could watch them, and read about them everywhere. But, I did not display any grief, publicly or otherwise. I just sat there, watching their images on the TV, and quietly said 'Goodbye' to a same-age person who grew up in the same era as myself, with all the unique challenges which that particular era evoked. Not to say other eras did not, but that one was the one I know about. I watched them and read about them, because I went through life at the same age-range as them.