A very good discussion of current problems in this area. It gives parents of teenage girls a useful basis for opening up conversations with them about self-esteem and social acceptance issues. I'm photocopying this article for that purpose. Thanks, Dannielle Miller.

I have an admission to make. I have got hooked on the show from laddettes to ladies. I really do feel sorry for the girls in the show and the sort of lives that they have led.

<This incident is also a sad reflection of a society that makes our girls feel lonely.>

From my understanding of female bullying behaviour is that being critical of other people has been going on, perhaps since the garden of eden.

One paper on female bullying said that it did not take long with new technology for girls to expand their reportorie on bullying behaviour.

It is easy to blame society for the behaviour of teens, yet I suspect the liberalism has contributed in a large way. Or perhaps modern technology has just made us more aware of the female bullying behaviour which was always there but hidden.

Oh what a great article. And not a feminist rant or male blaming dig anywhere to be found!

'Many of us tell our daughters they do not need to change in order to be beautiful while we rush for botox. We tell them inner beauty counts while we invest in plastic surgery and devour magazines that tell us that it is really only about air brushed perfection after all.'

This goes back to the other thread about the Bimbo site and what I was saying about parents deciding the values to teach their children rather than expecting the government to censor. Children can see the world around them and how it works, and know when their parents are lying to them.

I fully agree with the author regards the need for girls to develop a better body image and the need for less bullying amongst girls, but I find it difficult to understand how Women’s Day was linked to in the article.

It is yet another magazine that has glamour and gossip as its main priority (or reason for existence).

Dannielle

Excellent article. I concur with absolutely every word.

tonykevin 1

"A very good discussion of current problems in this area. It gives parents of teenage girls a useful basis for opening up conversations with them about self-esteem and social acceptance issues. I'm photocopying this article for that purpose. Thanks, Dannielle Miller."

Tony, you might also be interested in filing away the name, Indigo, which is a new girls' magazine designed to counter the likes of Dolly and its ilk. It's minimalist and selective in its choice of advertising and its ethos is very much about letting girls be themselves. It promotes and celebrates diversity and aims to really open up the world to all the choices out there for young girls. I haven't seen a copy of it (my daughter's past the target age group) but I've heard and read about it and would definitely recommend it as something to at least have a look at. (www.indigo4girls.com)

HRS

"I fully agree with the author regards the need for girls to develop a better body image and the need for less bullying amongst girls, but I find it difficult to understand how Women’s Day was linked to in the article. It is yet another magazine that has glamour and gossip as its main priority (or reason for existence)."

Good point. I don't buy women's magazines and haven't seen the article, but it would be very interesting to see if there's any acknowledgement of the hypocrisy you're referring to here. My guess is there wouldn't be. The article would no doubt be flanked by ads and editorial urging women to buy or try this that or the other, in order to achieve the latest look or to emulate the models and celebrities featured on practically every page. They probably wouldn't even recognize the double standards, let alone refer to them!

Usual Suspect

"This goes back to the other thread about the Bimbo site and what I was saying about parents deciding the values to teach their children rather than expecting the government to censor. Children can see the world around them and how it works, and know when their parents are lying to them."

Doesn't reading Dannielle's article cause you to doubt at all your argument that it is entirely up to the parents to counter the negative media and marketing images presented to girls today? Don't you at least acknowledge that it's a huge ask, and that many parents are too busy and/or too poorly equipped themselves to meet the challenge? As pointed out by Dannielle, so many women themselves are caught up in the same trap. How can they possibly help their daughters?

Surely you can see some role for government in ramping up the levels of community education, and in introducing regulatory controls to reign in the unparalleled freedom of multinationals to mass produce and indiscriminately push this stuff onto our kids, and all the other kids around the world, when they are at their most impressionable age. I'm sympathetic to your libertarian views but on this issue I feel your anti-censorship line is outdated and unhelpful. As a society, we're all paying in one way or another for the detrimental effect this stuff is having on the minds and health of our young girls. Club 21 is just one more sad example. I think it's time we all got involved. Leaving it to parents is no longer enough in my opinion.

"...moving beyond finger pointing"

then, its
1. technology
2. But we cannot blame the Internet alone... clearly, there are other things to blame, by er, not pointing the finger at them
3. reality TV
4. paris hilton
5. a society that makes our girls feel lonely... huh, society spares no one in this regard. Of course no one can make you feel anything, thats the burden of each human in their humanity.

Forget blame and the free licence of articles like this one that just end up doing it anyway.

Bite the bullet. Stand everyone in front of the mirror and have them point away.

Accountability and responsibility start at home and if you just keep excusing people by fuax empathy thru victimology, then YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.

Good stuff Trade,

I agree with your sentiments re responsibility, but it's not necessarily playing the victim to show some insight to the influences in your life. It's a vital part of the process, but after that it's up to the individual to take control of their reactions to the world around them. It's like adults who blame their parents for their emotional problems are different from adults who recognise the reasons for their emotional problems, yet take ownership of them and aim to improve their outlook.

Bronwyn,

Parenting is a big ask, but that's the point isn't it? Giving your kids the means to decipher the world and how they fit in. Besides, like I said in another topic, morality is subjective, so whose morality is the government to censor to? How can you practically legislate on advertising and media to not encourage 'shallow' behaviour? It would be better to teach media studies in high school.

BTW:I love this attitude in society that if girls exhibit anti-social behaviour, it's the media's fault, or society's fault. If boys do the same, they are just being boys, and need to be punished. All this binge drinking, bullying, exhibitionism, sleeping around behaviour by girls these days is the natural progression of equality for women. To me it just seems we still cant see women the same as men in terms of negative behaviour, and not enough women are seeking equality in this area.

Good points US. I love that attitude too. Anyone with access to media or a brain will know it’s hard being a girl (neither of which is prerequisite, if you are a father of daughters).

She is selfless and self-obsessed, intelligent but gullible, resilient in a fragile sort of way, but equally superior – especially when it comes to that moral kind where she can effortlessly erect watertight justification for her bullying – they so deserve it. She must be allowed to make her own mistakes, for restricting her choices equates to patriarchal oppression (her mother may be liable to worse accusations, but disempowered as we are, generational bitch fights now fall into the let it slide category).

“Let’s not blame the victims here. After all, these are young girls - pushing boundaries, exploring and making mistakes. We shouldn’t fall into the easy trap of simply making these girls out to be uber bitches. Rather, they are a sad reflection of the times. We need to dig a little deeper and address the toxic messages our girls are fed and ensure these are countered with positive body image programs and messages of strength and resilience.”

What exactly are these sad times, and what is the nature of this societal toxicity? More programs to tell young girls they can do anything (and whatever) they want? Are not their mothers sufficient examples and role modes?

Maybe Bronwyn’s call to sensor female (or is it feminist) media is not so hypocritical after all. And if one of the elected Julias were to champion it, it may not appear so patriarchal. Alcopops tax too, could have had more streetcred.

As the mother of a teenage girl I generally read with interest articles regarding girls.

What I find frustrating is the habit of blaming society or the media for perceived problems teenagers have. It is more likely that poor parenting is to blame for some teenagers not being able to form their own opinions and just blindly accepting what others say.

I find myself in total agreement with Usual Suspect, which is a bit unusual! Can't add anything to your last two paragraphs.

My daughter has checked out the Indigo website and on first sight found it too childish, static and 'old-fashioned'. She actually directed me to the Dove website: http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com.au/dove%2Dself%2Desteem%2Dfund/

She especially thinks the little film 'Amy' is really cute.

She wonders if the website 'Bimbo' is a big joke. Especially because the graphics are so poor. It implies very little effort went into it.

Parents shouldn't fear the media, but know that they've educated their children to be skeptical and not trust everything they hear, read or see. If parents treat their children like idiots who need to be shielded from the media and have everything censored, how can they grow up to be independent, thinking adults? (This last paragraph was dictated to me by my daughter by the way!)