Vanilla, TRTL

I feel all warm 'n fuzzy

Have a great weekend

JR

JamesH “So the lack of suitable male partners seems to be a world wide phenomenon.”

I can give some insight into this

Being in my 50’s and noting the original article was talking about a lady who was 45 and a man who was 50.

My observation of the relationship between men and women is this

In ones 20’s women have the “power” in the relationship. They have the focus to marry and have kids (their hormones) and men are basically driven by testosterone (their hormones).

Somewhere in midlife (maybe the cause of the crises) the power balance shifts to neutral.

By my age that power-shift has continued. The remaining men (those who have not expired along the way) definitely have the “power”. The pattern of life has been bred into us, women still seeking, in general as they did when 20, with older men and vise-versa.

When I see TV shows on how Hugh Heffner lives, I realize no woman could ever aspire to an equivalent public life style.

Being an older bloke, the choice is for any number of younger women. Although I have one girl friend in her 50’s who has a boyfriend in his 40’s, she is an exception in terms of attitude, appearance and libido. The average older woman is likely to find the choice of available older blokes dying off in front of her.

James,

'Feminist Rosie Boycott realises her type harmed men, but she doesn't care '

I wouldn't say she doesn't care. It is perhaps a better article than this one on OLO though.

A few points resonate..

'It seemed to me that to feminise society in this way must be to the greater benefit of all. But was it? '
I think society encourages traditional feminine traits on men and discourages traditional masculine traits. Maybe some men enjoy being able to express their feminine side, but for each of these men there is a man who is castigated just for being himself. The messages are to express your feelings in a feminine rather than masculine way, so women may find it easier to relate. To indulge your vanity in a similar way to women (i.e. clothes and cosmetics) rather than traditional male vanity of who is the toughest. Even smacking children (I think little boys are more equipped to understand the language of violence than a verbal dressing down) is outlawed.

Further she states...

'A man who stays home and keeps house, who brings up the children ... lives off his wife's money, is seen in our judgmental times as a loser - not as a pioneer of a new way of living.

'Most people believe that blokes who 'work in the home' have only ended up there because they've been fired or can't get a good (ie high-paying) job'

I would also add that most women get first dibs on staying at home with the children, even after the first year. It's only if the women CHOOSES to go back to work, the man may get some choice to spend time at home if financially possible. In this women have a lot more choice than men. Good on them though, they fought for it.

As I said before, a side effect of feminism has been the down-grading of the value of raising children. I would love to see the resources spent on propping up childcare used to afford couples a chance to share the job rather than outsourcing.

Johny Rotten,
As a loving feminist who likes to get a warm and fuzzy feeling, I surprissed you didn't call Mark a "tosser" in your last post, as you did call him a "tosser" twice in your previous posts.

So as a nonabusive and loving feminist, why didn't you call Mark a "tosser" for the third time.

Surely giving abuse to a male gives a feminist a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Whitty – not sure what your point is? I’m sure we can all find all kinds of quotes to back whatever we are saying.

As for maternity leave:

1. The number one reason why most women take the leave rather than the man is purely an a house hold economic decision because in Australia men still, on both average and median income, even amongst CEO’s, earn much, much more than women.

2. The reason why so many women delay returning to work is the cost of childcare and loss of family payments that make working more expensive than not.

3. For the 13 weeks paid leave for Comm. Pub. Servants, (some of the few that have access to it) the Act dictates that this must be taken by the women who gave birth and cannot be pro-rated with a man even if he works in the same department.

4. We are still only one of 2 OECD nations, (the developed world) that does not have a paid parental leave scheme for all parents. The USA is the only other one.

Feminism has never downgraded the value of child raising. As per my earlier post, feminism has argued for choice. Some women prefer paid work some prefer to child raise – just like some men prefer paid work and some to child raise. Feminism has argued for these family choices to be respected and facilitated.

James your second link is to a nut-job women hating site. Though if this is true about the law in terms of domestic violence, I wouldn't want to live in the US...

'"Must Arrest” laws require police to make an arrest, regardless of the officer's judgment. "Primary aggressor" laws pre-dispose police toward arresting men rather than women, regardless of the truth of an event. "No drop prosecution" policies pressure prosecutors to pursue a criminal conviction, even when they would otherwise drop charges. America's Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) effectively denies the existence of abuse against men,.'

I fear the 'To Violence against Women, Australia says no' adverts may mean we are heading down this path.

It also stated a women can get a restraining order because she 'feels threatened', but I doubt that to be true.

Billy C,

'not sure what your point is?'
I was discussing an article that James posted. Why is what you're saying more valid than what I say? You seem pretty arrogant to me.

In the US 40% of couples the women earns more than the man. I cant imagine all those men are at home while the wife works. Also I'm not talking about maternity leave, I even stated 'even after the first year'.

I would be interested to see wage figures that compare men vs women in the same job working full time too. Can it not be that women are more often working part time because they wish to be at home part time with the children. You seem to think decsisions like this are based solely on financial considerations and social expectations will have no bearing.

I never said 'Feminism has downgraded the value of child raising', I said 'the effect of feminism' (women entering the workforce) ie feminism has had this effect not that feminists have pushed for this.

'feminism has argued for choice' Yes. For women. Good on them as I said. I don't see what is wrong in arguing for choice for men also. Again any discussion of men at a disadvantage to women is threatening.