In terms of satire, Arjay's posts can't be topped. Well, maybe anything uttered by the Jensen sisters and Fred Nile.

Of course Arjay.

By the same token, by allowing cola to be legal, we do run the risk of having a generation of caffeine-addicted fascists who would rule out drinking orange juice. Unless we move NOW! to ban cola, we'll be regretting it in future, mark my words.

Also, we ought to be careful about allowing people to use this crazy contraption called 'the internet.' If people favour it too much, there's a chance they'll ban books.
This will not stand! Damned if I'll let people stand in the way of my book reading! Ban the internet, and quickly!

Why heck, has anyone given serious thought to the risks we face in relation to the teaching of language?!
If we teach another language, like say, Italian in our schools, how long before these heinous linguists are trying to foist their language on us! Fiends! Ban the teaching of Italian! And any other language, come to think of it! And while we're at it, ban geology! Why? I dunno anymore! I'm caught in Arjay's web of illogicality! Is that a word? Yes? No? Who cares!

That count sufficiently as satire, Arjay? I'm assuming your last post was also satire in that it pointed out the stupidity of banning one thing simply because you're afraid it will lead to the banning of the opposite.