Hello Bluey, My name is Dozer and I'm calling from the National Australia Bank (go ahead NAB sue me, I hate you.) I'm conducting a survey on the service you have received at the Rockhampton Branch. Would you have five minutes to answer some questions?

Bluey: Oh, the Rocky branch. They’re great girls down there, Love’em. I go down there every Friday morning at 10:30 and have a good chat. They say “G’day Bluey, how you doing mate? Great bunch of girls.

Dozer: Excellent, so would you have five minutes to answer some questions about the service at the Rockhampton Branch?

Bluey: Yes of course. Great bunch of girls down there. Do everything they can to help me out. You’re not going to close them down are you? That bl00dy Frank what’s-is-name up there on the 30th floor in the big smoke doesn’t give a to$$ about us. You’re not going to…

Dozer, (cutting in): No sir we’re just trying to improve service. So can you tell me, when was the last time you went to the Rockhampton branch?

Bluey: Like I said, I go down there every Friday morning to do my banking. Weren’t you listening or something?

Dozer [select “within the last two weeks” from my list of options]: And how would you rate, on a scale of 0-10, where 0 is very poor and 10 is excellent, the overall level of service you received on that last visit to the Rockhampton branch?

Bluey: Oh they were great. Couldn’t have done more for me. Wonderful girls. I had to ask a few things about my overdraft and they sorted it all out for me. Couldn’t have done anything more.

cont...

Dozer: That sounds great sir, would you just be able to rate the service on that scale from 0-10.

Bluey: What scale? I don’t know what 0 or 10 mean, you haven’t told me what bl00dy 0 or 10 mean. (Muttering) Young people these days, think they know it all, probably goes to university…

Dozer: I gave the scale before, 0 is very poor and 10 is excellent.

Bluey: And what’s the question again?

Dozer: How would you rate, on a scale of 0-10, where 0 is very poor and 10 is excellent, the overall level of service you received on your last visit to the Rockhampton branch?

Bluey: I’ve already told you, they were great! Weren’t you listening or something?

Dozer: I just need an answer on that scale from 0 to 10, sir.

Bluey: Oh, I don’t know…. (long pause)

Dozer: Ah, sir?

Bluey: Yes I’m thinking!..... oh bl00dy hell, I don’t know, give them an 11.

Dozer: Ah,… sir,.. I need an answer on that scale between 0 and 10. (I had got in trouble before for recording an 11 as a 10….)

Bluey: Oh jeez mate this is bl00dy stupid. How long is this thing going to take anyway. You said it was only going to take 5 minutes, I’ve been here ten minutes already and I’ve got to get back to work.

If I was lucky, the customer would hang up. We weren’t allowed to hang up on customers. We had a quota of 5 calls an hour, which I was regularly called up on for not meeting. Stupid.

Shut the call centres down. Shut them all down. We’re better off shovelling s--- for shillings.

I get all those calls from India and unsolicited faxes from Sydney which, if I responded the way they want, would cost up to $60 a call.

I feel overwhelmed by a tsunami of advertising - on TV, radio, mail, email spam, strangers phoning your home, and even your fax isn't safe. It is an unwanted tidal wave of junk advertising!

I was working in Melbourne a couple of years ago. At 7.30 am I got off the train at Parliament Station and went up the escalators. Two people, dressed as coffee beans, were coming down the other way. They loudly yelled slogans at me as they passed.

When closely analysed, the Federal Government's 'Do not call' initiative allows most of the organisations who have made our lives such a misery over recent years to continue unabated. I'm a Westpac and NAB custommer, but I don't want them ringing afterhours from India hasselling me with unwanted 'offers'.

Years ago, my wife bought Christmas cards from Yooralla (a worthy enough Victorian charity). But years later, we are still getting unwanted calls from those folks, and many others.

If a politician were ever to call, I would break a lifetime's habit of politeness, and savagely cuss them.

The Liberals in Canberra have at last responded to the incredible anger we all feel about all this unwanted advertising. Not all of us want to worship the dollar, or wish to support the corporate millionaires. We want to have a nice quiet home life without the intrusions of unwelcome afterhours business calls and offers.

Fair enough, Mr Mack, modern life does have a number of aspects that annoy, and many of these are "marketing" related.

But why, in the name of all that is sane and rational, do you expect the government to manage these aspects of your life on your behalf?

Whatever happened to personal responsibility? Why do you think it is necessary for you to abdicate responsibility for answering your phone, to the government?

Why do you think it is fair and reasonable for you to spend my money on the exercise of stopping people from calling you on the telephone?

>>I get all those calls from India and unsolicited faxes from Sydney which, if I responded the way they want, would cost up to $60 a call<<

So you don't respond. What's the problem?

>>Two people, dressed as coffee beans, were coming down the other way. They loudly yelled slogans at me as they passed<<

If that's the worst thing that happens in your day, you're not doing badly.

>>I'm a Westpac and NAB custommer, but I don't want them ringing afterhours from India hasselling me with unwanted 'offers'<<

Here's a suggestion. Instead of calling the government, call the Bank. Tell them not to do it. Tell them you'll take your custom to a Bank that doesn't hassle you. Show some initiative, do something for yourself, it really isn't that difficult.

>>Years ago, my wife bought Christmas cards from Yooralla (a worthy enough Victorian charity). But years later, we are still getting unwanted calls from those folks, and many others<<

Be brave. Put the phone down.

>>The Liberals in Canberra have at last responded to the incredible anger we all feel about all this unwanted advertising<<

Incredible anger? Boy, what kind of life you lead if a ringing phone creates "incredible anger".

How do you feel about Iraq?

I'd still like to know why these telemarketers are allowed to call using private number, isn't this using stealth by not revealing their true number? As the hospitals also ring you using private number you have no way of knowing if its an emergency call or not. It seems to me these companies don't have a legitimate reason for using a private number other than trying to hide their identity. That means they are trying to enter your home via telephone by sly means.

If there's one group I don't want contacting my home, anytime, it is politicians.

I'll have to use the Seinfeld routine (Can I have your home number, I'll ring you there when it suits me OK?) on them or just swear and hang up. What can they do? Ring more often? A simple "Each time you call hardens my vote against you" should stop them don't you think?