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The Forum > Article Comments > Let's talk about sex ... > Comments

Let's talk about sex ... : Comments

By Joan Sauers, published 20/2/2007

Children should be able to look back and not even remember when they first heard about sex because it was always something they knew about.

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Is this article anything other than an extended advertisement for the author's book? The survey was apparently of 300 'teens' not that their ages could be verified. I wonder if they all went to the same high school. The author seems not to be a psychologist and elsewhere mentions that she was involved with the teen soapy 'Heartbreak High' which included a story about a relationship between a female teacher and a (surprise, surprise) male student. Who needs the internet for titillation when they can watch the author's own work?

Incidentally at

http://www.teenspeak.com.au/

Ms Sauers encourages gullible teens to participate "Because the book based on the survey won't focus on boring statistics, but instead, your most intimate thoughts and emotions. The purpose of this survey is to give you a voice."

Good idea. Best not to have those pesky stats muddle an opinion although they come in handy if you want to make a point like "These days, according to the survey, over 53 per cent of 12-year-old girls and 70 per cent of 12-year-old boys have seen hardcore pornography." Ah yes, 'seen' as opposed to 'watch'.

I think that if I'd participated by offering my 'most intimate thoughts' and seen them turned into numbers I would feel that I'd been had.

Then there's nothing like a few assumptions to leaven the non stats: "Men are often Viagra-enhanced, able to go for hours, and women have been breast-implanted".

I think she means the women have had implants placed inside their breasts, and I must get some Viagra; I thought that porn was made just like other movies, in several takes but clearly I need to read more pop-psychology to stay informed.
Posted by PeterJH, Tuesday, 20 February 2007 10:35:28 AM
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It might be good to get some input from parents who have successfully guided their teenagers into reponsible relationships. Why do we need to listen to the many experts who have failed miserably themselves?
Posted by runner, Tuesday, 20 February 2007 11:01:47 AM
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What is customary in Holland in regard to sex education would help in Australia too:

http://www.unesco.org/courier/2000_07/uk/apprend2.htm

Why don't we follow this example, which significantly lessens the level of unwanted pregnancies and abortions? Because in Australia Christian extremists are allowed to set many of our priorities.
Posted by Rex, Tuesday, 20 February 2007 12:47:55 PM
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i think this column (with references and statistics) from george monbiot sums this whole issue up perfectly:

"Abstinence teaching is a disaster for teenagers"
http://www.monbiot.com/archives/2004/05/11/waging-war-with-the-virgin-soldiers/

the evidence is irrefutable.
if you educate older children/young teenagers about sex, not only are they more likely to have their first sexual experience later, they are also less likely to fall pregnant or catch an STI - the countries where abstinence programs dominate over sex education (catholic latin america, the US etc) also have higher abortion rates.
Posted by julatron, Tuesday, 20 February 2007 3:29:45 PM
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What an excellent article written by, Joan Sauers. There is far too much fear and horror when it comes to explaining sex and the body, mostly created by dogmatic churches who wish to control and manipulate society.

My children are given honest answers when they are asked. If they aren't ready for the answer, they would not ask. Honest answers are important, especially after a child walks in on their parents while having sex.

We teach our kids what they need to know. They know what they body parts are called and it teaches them self esteem where their body is concerned. Knowledge is powerful and with the correct guidance, makes it harder for a paedophile to trick them into sick favours.
Posted by Spider, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 12:07:13 AM
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Having had the benefit of growing up in the Dutch education system, sex has never been an angst inducing topic in my household. I have 3 children, from 18 to 12, 2 boys and 1 girl. Both my husband and I have always been frank and open.

Any parent who speaks frankly with their children would have many occasions where they would have been horrified at what seems to be acceptable amongst young people. Very interesting and revealing conversations (for both parents and teenagers) can ensue in response to an incident.

So often with "sex" the mechanics (the how, pregnancy and diseases) are easily talked about, but not the emotional and psychological aspect, both the wonderful and the (emotionally) painful.

I am very proud of my teenage sons and daughter at how they see themselves and others of the opposite sex. Not only sexually, but also in the wider context as participants in society. That is what it is all about, respect for self AND, especially also AND, others.
Posted by yvonne, Wednesday, 21 February 2007 8:06:58 PM
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Dear Yvonne
yes.. what you said is wise. The main barrier to seeing the opposite sex in the wider context is that 'sex sells' and our free market system, and our lack of clearly defined lines of acceptable and unnacceptable provide a veritable freeway for those without scruples to exploit it for financial advantage.

For the record, I regard such unscrupulous people as the bacteria underneath the garbage on which bottom feeding fish survive.
It is abudantly clear, that legal freedom brings moral exploitation.
Moral exploitation brings social decay. Social decay brings social destruction...and the end of civilization.

I know of no history book which does not describe the 'Rise AND FALL' of great empires. In the Old Testament, there are enough thumbnail sketches of many many kings and summaries of their reigns and attitudes to draw serious conslusions about the end result of moral decay and loose living.

Recently on the news there has been some stories about the 'Sexualization of young girls' and the related issues of body image, depression, Anorexia, suicide and other.

There is little news about the sexualization of young boys.. why ? hmm well.. I think our make up is such that the 'drive' is more with boys for girls rather than vice versa, but the availability of contraception is feeding an emphasis on any boundary which previously existed such as that girls are not as promiscuous as boys.

I say "follow the money" to see who is behind this stuff. Then recognize it for what it is, and root it out as a social cancer of the most malignant kind. Robbie Swan .. r u listening ?

Then, recapture values which see the whole person rather than just their sex organs.
Posted by BOAZ_David, Thursday, 22 February 2007 8:34:46 AM
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Yes, a Dutch friend of mine was saying they weren't afraid of body bits, with kids up to the age of 12 at junior school showering in mixed gender change rooms.

Where did the Anglos get their prudishness from? Are we no better than the Victorian age - covering the legs of their tables?
Posted by Richy, Friday, 23 February 2007 4:30:04 PM
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It's not "all the Anglos" who have a problem with the human body and its functions. But in Australia far more notice is taken of the wowser minority than is justified and so we get moralised at by hypocritical/uninformed politicians and bureaucrats etc.

I came here from England in 1962. My first wife looked great in a string bikini. She'd been wearing them at the Leeds City Council swimming pools without comment for a number of years, but a well meaning friend told me that she would be sent off the beach if she wore them in Perth. This never happened, perhaps the summer of 1962/63 was when Australia started to catch up with Europe in this respect.

There is more than enough evidence to support the Dutch style of sex education being standard in Australian schools, because this is the way to reduce the incidence of unwanted pregnancies and abortions. But we don't have it, because the wowsers don't want it, despite the fact that preaching abstinence demonstrably doesn't work.

And Boas [and no doubt others too], you may find this hard to believe, but an easy way to get used to seeing the whole person and not just the sexual organs is to get accustomed to swimming at clothes optional beaches, where for the majority of users, mixed sex nudity is no big deal.

Incidentally, many European countries/areas, such as Holland, Germany and Scandinavia, where they have sensible sex education for children and reduced rates of sexual problems as a result, also have a much more enlightened attitude to nude swimming too, but that also usually falls on the deaf ears of the incompetent know-nothings who have the power to regulate for free beaches in Australia.

As a result, we also miss out on the tourism opportunities of nude resorts, such as have been both popular and profitable in countries such as France, Croatia and Spain, in some cases since before 1950.

No, it's not the Anglos as a whole who are responsible for this stupidity, but Australian officialdom's pronounced tendency to grovel to the wowser element.
Posted by Rex, Friday, 23 February 2007 6:36:46 PM
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