Risks from Mummies new boyfriend

Children living with a sole parent have a high risk of living with “mummies-new-boyfriend” or “daddies-new-girlfriend” in the future. These children face a vastly increased risk of being abused or killed. Cinderella isn’t the only child abused by a wicked step-parent.

A child is at approximately twenty (20) times higher risk of being abused when living with a "step-parent" than when the child is with it’s natural parents. We have collated 24 citations to published research confirming this high risk as typical.

Lindsay is indeed lucky to have had a loving step-family. I have deep respect for those adults who take the responsibility to love somebody else's children. Loving step parents deserve to be honoured!

Loving step-parents are to be respected. However not every pick-up (sexual partner) of a single-parent becomes a loving step-parent. Any un-related adult entering a child’s home as simply as “mummies-new-boyfriend” is an obvious risk to a child’s safety.

Sadly loving step parents are rare. We have found 24 citations to published research showing a tremendous increase in risk when children live with a step-parent or “mummies-new-boyfriend”.

"Natural parent" is the right term, not the politically correct "biological" parent... natural parents protect their offspring.

The Family Court awards sole custody in the vast majority of cases. In fact only 2.5% of Family Court orders allow shared residence... 98.5% of kids lose one of their parents in the Family Court. These children are left at risk.

Sadly, most studies on child abuse don’t separate “natural parents” from “step parents”. This has allowed the "Domestic Violence Industry" to demonise fathers . The truth is that children are statistically safer with their natural father than with their natural mother and much safer with their natural parent/s than with an un-related stranger. This is simply the truth.

But if you put "natural fathers" and "mummies-new-boyfriends" together as perpetrators, the very high rates of abuse by "mummies-new-boyfriend" skews the average against 'men'.

The citations (each with a brief abstract) to this research are available on request.

James ADAMS
PartTimeParent@pobox.com
www.Fathers4Equality-Australia.org
0417 258 364

I am a member of the step-parenting child-sharing brigade and have a daughter who is also member. I think that organisations like this need as much assistance as they can get. I wish I had had a bit of help. I will give my daughter the details and hope she can get some good advice. Her littlest girl gets very upset when the others go home.

partTimeParent - James while you make some very good points I think you miss the focus of the article. The author does not claim an "all roses" scenario for step families, rather he acknowledges that there are issues but also seeks to show the other side of the picture.

Mummy's new boyfriend is not always a predator or abuser, sometimes he is a responsable guy who has significantly less involvement in his own kids lives than he should because of the issues you talk about.

"98.5% of kids lose one of their parents in the Family Court." - I have heard a different figure for decisions made by the court and clearly whatever the figure it is not 98.5% of kids, rather of kids where the court decides. It is my understanding that the rate is even worse for decisions reached outside of court - so called "consent orders" and having been through that process I don't place much faith in the term consent.

The government stats I've seen on child abuse do tend to seperate out the family types where abuse occurs. The Abused Child Trust in Qld and the Child Abuse Clearing House nationally are examples. What they don't always specify is who does the abuse (something that may be very difficult to determine in some circumstances). The rates for single parent led households are in my understanding significantly worse than for two parent households where one is not the natural parent (relating to the number of kids in those households). Likewise for other forms of household.

My guess is that the safest place for kids (outside of living in a happy family with both natural parents) is living in a shared care arrangement with both parents re-partnered.

We do need to try and generate on serious and widespread support for shared care following family breakdown and do everything we can do to counter the lies and distortions used by some groups to perpetuate the current mess but lets not use the same tactics ourselves.

R0bert

"The association is the only fully established organisation of its kind in Australia, and it runs on the proverbial smell of an oily rag."

Actually read this article sometime ago and in fact contacted Lindsay Tanner about the abovementioned comment.

The Stepfamily Association of Victoria is not the only organisation of its kind in Australia. The Stepfamily Association of South Australia was incorporated in 1999. Because of the lack of govt funding the organisation become internet based in September 2003.

At that time our website the Stepfamily Zone was receiving approximately 100 visitors per day. Now in 2006 that figure is close to 4,000 visitors per day. In August 2006 our forums had just under 600,000 page views.

This is achieved without the oily rag, the association has received no government support State or Federal since May 2002.

It does make you wonder why.

John Faulkner

To James, to a certain degree I would have to agree with your comments. There is sufficent evidence that shows children are at a great risk when mum has a new boyfriend.

"A child is at approximately twenty (20) times higher risk of being abused when living with a "step-parent" than when the child is with it’s natural parents. We have collated 24 citations to published research confirming this high risk as typical."

James, in this situation is the stepparent married or in a long term defacto relationship with the biological parent? Or, are you classifying the new boyfriend as a stepparent?

I gather some of the citations you have are from research by Daly and Wilson. Must admit I find their research methods quite questionable. In fact I have contacted them and asked several questions. One of them was whether or not they asked the participants of the research whether they were married or not? The answer, no we didn't. One of their research findings was based on a telephone survey.

But everyone rushes to quote Daly and Wilson when trying to show stepparents as being abusive.

I did my own research into this subject some years ago, because I did not believe the findings from people such as Daly and Wilson. At the end of the day it was quite clear that children in a stepfamily where the partners are married or in a long term relationship are as safer and in some cases safer as if they were with both biological parents.

"Sadly loving step parents are rare."

I would say it is the opposite, that abusive stepparents, are rare.

John Faulkner