CR, if I did get into politics I'd probably scare all those sitting in federal parliament. I'd have to wear a special mask and suit in order to protect myself from contracting some exotic disease from the filth who inhabit our parliament. And my face would be covered with bandaids from the shaking of my hand whilst shaving. I don't have a shady record so I might be judged too good to enter politics.

Maybe if I hid a bunch of shares in a family trust or forgot I owned a half interest in a concreting business I might be half a chance. What about I learn how to fiddle travel allowance and then make a run for parliament? How 'bout I turn O'Possum Bay into a capital city and claim the capital city T/A rate

I dislike John Howard. His policies have had a directly negative impact on my life. However, Paul Keating wasn't much better. His personality was simply obnoxious, and like Howard, he strutted the world stage with little regard to how the people of Australia were faring.

Sage – you do fancy yourself a bit – the first job is to be preselected or post your own independent campaign – then if you can find enough disillusioned dullards to vote for you before you will need that suit – the easiest cop out is to suggest you are too “precious” and “special” to get your hands dirty.

I think however your name is apt – a mild herb used to enhance the flavour of cheap cuts of meat.

Brummbar – the difference is – Howard is inclined to allow you to make your own mistakes, Keating & Co more intent on making them for you.

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