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The Forum > Article Comments > How do we find that perfect partner? > Comments

How do we find that perfect partner? : Comments

By Peter Curson, published 1/8/2017

Up until the end of the 19th century, marriage was primarily a loveless thing with little emotion or tenderness shown between man and woman or indeed between parents and children.

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Interesting. The fact is that family-arranged marriages fare much better than post-modern marriages because with an arranged marriage the couple feels as though the future of the community is their primary responsibility, rather than just an exercise in self-appeasement as with a po-mo marriage.
Posted by progressive pat, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 1:50:36 PM
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the whole question of finding the 'perfect' partner is totally flawed. Secular dogma leads to the perfect partner being the one you want to sleep with tonight. She/he goes from the perfect partner to the perfect horror. The marriages that flourish's and survives are two imperfect people who understand how imperfect people are and yet are prepared to love and commit anyway.
Posted by runner, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 2:04:09 PM
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Beats the hell out of me. It's a real lottery?

That said, relationships that endure, generally start with friendship and grow with time, into real love?

And are not based on me, me, selfishness! Nor goosebumps nor overwhelming physical desire? Often infatuation and hormones! That often end badly or persist out of habit and no other palatable options?

You wake one morning after ten years or more, beside a perfect stranger you don't even like, let alone respect?

A very wise woman once said to me, it is sometimes, better to be needed and wanted, than loved? Still working on that one!

I think chance encounters that are not chance, when reviewed, but intended? Given intended purpose and the satisfaction of mutual need?

For every ying there's a yang, and a perfect fit? Similar likes and dislikes might indicate genuine compatibility? An essential in an enduring relationship!

And if it feels right and the other is painfully shy, don't be afraid to make the first move! Take it to the next phase/level. Now in the living years! We're a long time dead!

Physical compatibility and sexual appetite, far more important than sometimes thought and the glue that holds an enduring relationship together!

And if it's meant to be? The chance encounter that makes it possible may not be pure chance?

Making it endure not so easy, but easier if cherished with small acts of kindness almost daily!

Just pitch in and help where you can and within the limits of your means or physical ability!

Think, it is no harder to say a kind word than a cruel one! And don't ever forget to say thank you!

Particularly when something is done for free, as a good neighbor or friend! True friends being worth more than money in the bank! And just the beginning of love?
Alan B.
Posted by Alan B., Tuesday, 1 August 2017 5:29:06 PM
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I don't think it is natural for humans to be monogamous. Women are naturally looking for the best genes for her offspring, & the best provider/protector for herself & offspring. Men are naturally looking to spread their genes as far & as widely as possible.

The complications of modern life has forced us into monogamy, but as the divorce rate shows, we are more suited to serial monogamy, with a decade or less with one partner being more in keeping with our nature. The slow maturing of our children complicate this massively, but only a few are really successful at one mate for life.

An accident of timing led me to my partner. I had sailed south single handed 2500 nautical miles to arrive in Bundaberg at the same time that my lady crewing on another yacht had sailed 1000 miles northward to Bundaberg.

We got to know each other there & in Mooloolaba over a few weeks. When I sailed on to Sydney, there she was waiting for me. I don't think I had much choice in the matter, but that was over 40 years ago, so it must be right. However a little delay anywhere for either of us, & we would never have met.
Posted by Hasbeen, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 8:07:36 PM
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A good article. Author, proven humanoid, shows promise.

Methinks city and rural folk who are computer savvy are increasingly turning to such platforms as RSVP.

After 50yo romance is long gone. Marriage is seen by women:

- ("separated" but still living in the same house, in an open marriage)

- as a precursor to meaningless one night stands (they so itch for)

- and the a device to locate even richer male partners

Ultimately, after the statutory few years, they are post menopausal and bitter

- with the revised aime to separate males from their savings/houses in a ceremony called Divorce.
Posted by plantagenet, Wednesday, 2 August 2017 2:43:50 PM
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