With Mothers' Day upon us it is time for all boys and men to demand an answer to THAT question that has been bugging us all and particularly feminists,

"How is it that mothers can produce such beautiful, perfect offspring as girls, yet cruel Nature dooms mums to make a complete cock-up where boys are concerned?"

If there is one thing that feminists and religious fundamentalists agree on it is that the little teapot spout possessed by boy infants is a PROBLEM that needs to be dealt with. That wee spout needs to be CUT. The only difference is how much either side might lop off.

Now as a man I have been confronted by all manner of women's p*ss flaps. Some are of such dangling abundance that they rival John Wayne's saddlebags and are more wrinkled than a Savoy cabbage. What small boy's, or even a man's, foreskin could compete with those?

Women are lucky though because no bacteria could ever lurk in a voluptuous box and even if any did it must by definition be GOOD. Anyhow it would be unthinkable and a horrendous crime to tamper with the tackle of an Earth Goddess.

On the other hand, boys are made of puppy dogs' tails, snails and awful stuff, so of course they should be cut. It just so happens that it is a jolly good earner for some doctors too. That is never a consideration of course.

Just wondering though, what penile health differences are there between US men who are often lopped and men from Scandinavian countries where the ritual is uncommon? I think I have seen the answer before and no, it doesn't favour the chopped American men.