I do disagree that it's always bad parenting. As a parent I've fought a losing battle against really dumb ideas about rights etc that seem to have come home from schools without an adequate level of balance in regard to responsibility in what's taught.

I've dealt with an utter lack of legal right to do anything about the family in the next street who were sheltering my son when he was wagging school or anytime he is unhappy about a restriction in the home. I run the risk that if I enforce discipline at home he will just go live there and I'll be drained dry by CSA subsidizing their welfare income from my earned income at the extraordinary rates the formula allows for and have the prime source of values being very destructive ones.

Many parents I know find themselves over a barrel, many influences come from outside the home, government involvement often just makes things far worse than it might otherwise be.

Problems in many families may well be a lack of interest in discipline and poor values but for others it gets much more complex.

R0bert

RObert,

I can sympathize having gone through something similar with our daughter when she was in her teens, similar but not as bad.
The main problem was the crap that she was told at school.

Our son, fortunately, could see that he was being told things, such as his 'rights' that didn't fit into family life.
I was able to steer him past the dobbing that was expected at school and to teach him that the answer to bullying was to belt the bully.
He learned to apply the methods that I'd used in my schooldays; catch the bully alone with no witnesses and then give the bully a taste of his own medicine, with compound interest.

Is Mise gets to the nub. If there's disruption (i.e. bullying) no blaming "anger problems" or botched potty training or psychobabble about "ADHD", no blaming the teachers or the system or the government or drug pushers etc., no blaming the victims, no "I blame the parents y'know". Disruption is caused by a disruptor. Bullying happens because someone bullies someone. Crime is the fault of the criminal.

At the schoolyard level, the remedy is in the hands of those who don't want to be bullied. Organise. Form a "gang". Every member carry a whistle. Every member pledge never to initiate trouble. Every member pledge to blow his whistle if bullied. Every member pledge to run and join the whistleblower in giving the bully /ies a good beating. Every member observe omerta if hauled up for fighting.

It works. Mind, I've never seen a teacher being bullied and don't know what would have happened. Depend on the popularity of the teacher and the lout I guess.

The kid is clearly out of control and no 'grounding or harsh words' will have any effect. Their criminal behavior will grow as they grow. Respect for nothing and no-one has to be dealt with using harsh intervention. This path of destruction of others will continue otherwise.