An excellent piece. I had an experience of being the one to ignore mails a couple of years ago when my ISP had a meltdown in their mail server and it only forwarded some of the messages. It cost me a bit of money, but it coat me a great deal of time contacting people and explaining what had happened. Most people were quite OK, but a couple had already fired off angry emails and were not to be mollified.

I also experience the same thing from my ex-wife as a mteer of routine. She claims she doesn;t check her email daily and so if I send her a request for some information about some activity or other the children are doing, I'll get a response on the morning the activity is happening, or more usually none at all.

If I then try to ring her I'll have to make several calls that won't be answered, followed by an SMS telling me how busy she is and how she doesn't have time to answer calls. In most cases, I reckon the SMS would have taken at least twice as long to compose as simply answering the phone would have taken.

As you said, it's all about passive-aggression and it's really very unpleasant behaviour.

I reckon it comes of having a really low opinion of your own genuine value. Of course, in the ex's case that poor opinion of her own value is well-founded...

1. She/he has no romantic interest you

2. They are dead or on holiday

3. They have contracted a mental illness

4. You have a mental illness. Eg: Anxiety Syndrome coupled with a Superiority Complex.

Ah yes, we have all been there.

The problem with emails is that they are emails - almost unsubstantial and easy to ignore. If you want anything done, go in person or use the phone.

This 'phenomena' has always been with us but I agree that it's at epic proportions now. We seem to think that banging off a quick email is the end of a task when it may just be the beginning. There are blizzards to emails going back and forth but not much work being done.

I think there's more to this phenomenon that just rudeness - it has to do with massive workloads and there only being eight hours in a work day.

Yes email etiquette is a real issue and we've all been snubbed at times. It's quite complex though; which emails can be ignored and which should not?

I get all varieties but those that are written personally to me are always answered (except perhaps in very rare cases which are abusive)

We also have circular emails and e-discussion groups where you opt in with a comment where appropriate.

Marketing emails dont get a response from me because they are unsolicited. What about Facebook? Once on it one gets all sorts of requests and I havent got time to be conversing with all and sundry on this media. I see it as being for showing a few photos to selected people say twice a year.

I try to look on the bright side when 'personally snubbed' and look on it as a opportunity to practice grace - a test to not let it bother me. But how to be sure it's a real snub? Two in a row is a sign that one's not worth bothering with any more.

It's also true that a phone call or personal contact generally are more valuable than emails.

…”The art of rudeness imputes the crime of response”…

An interesting and, in my view, factual. Society in the main has sunk to an intolerable level of rudeness. As a female, born in 1945, one of the crucial things that we were ever taught was good manners., seconded with Mothers' adage that "You are every bit as good as anyone else, but don't imagine that you are any better", simple advice yes, forgotten? never. Good manners seems to me, to be a thing of the past, only the older Gentlemen open the door for me these days, not that I expect them to. But to get back on topic, I too have waited in vane for the said promise of "returning your call et.al". Manners have gone down the drain, people (I am only generalising here) don't seem to care, and I wonder if parents even bother to teach their kids the art of social graces these days. Thanks for sharing the link with us, it is most interesting.
Cheers,
NSB

The same can be said of phone trees where you have to press all manner of buttons to get to the area you want, then wait a long time for an answer. What happens if what you want is not covered in the possible selections? It happens. Ever tried to find a switchboard number for some government agencies? Some are easy to find others involve long term investigation and the skills of an investigative reporter.

Email has made corresponding quick and easy and economic rationalisation means often there are not enough staff to keep up with the amount of work emails often entail. In a previous job I was asked by someone why they had not got a response to their email sent over one month ago. I had to explain we had not even read it yet as there were more than 2,000 pieces of correspondence ahead of his email waiting to be actioned.

It is not good enough but that is the reality of it. Once upon a time it was considered ill-mannered not to respond to correspondence within a reasonable time. Email has made the problem worse as it is a lot easier to whip out a quick email even if it just to say you think someone is a D*head whereas the effort to put pen to paper means many will not bother.

Email makes it more difficult to claim your letter was lost in the mail.